I felt like writing this post..

[Baemo]

Hello everyone,

I am writing this post because I feel so sad and I have none to talk to and I cannot afford therapy. I have bpd and life is very very hard for me. I am above avarage good looking guy and I don't have a girlfriend, meanwhile everyone at my age(I am 19) has a girlfriend and is so happy. Some even have had a girlfriend since they were 15 or 14. I never had sex. Everytime I talk to one I ruin things because of my disorder. (BPD)Some people at my age have got a lot of money and girls come to them, but I don't have a lot of money and I am not good with girls either because I am ill. I cannot afford therapy either. While everyone else lives a normal and good life, every day of my life is miserable. I quit smoking almost 2 years ago, hoping that I would change and start a new life and today I started smoking again because things are going really bad and I couldn't help myself. Besides this I have a really bad relationship with my parents because my adoptive mother mentally abused me since I was a kid. My biological mother left me when I was 6 months old and now I sent her a message on facebook and she won't even reply. I feel so bad everyday is a nightmare and think about killing myself.

I want to delete my social media because the things that people post really it annoys me because all they do is brag about the things they have, the happy life they live and I don't, but if I delete it I will never be with a girl because these days they are all on instagram.

I know all this might seem stupid to some of you because you have much worse problems than I do, but I needed to get things off my chest.

Sending lots of love to all of you in struggle. <3

 

[Smart No More]

It doesn't seem stupid at all. Don't shoot yourself down like that.

For what it's worth you still have plenty of time to come into your own. Might I suggest some local support groups? Free ones exist and they're not always great but it would be a potential way to getting involved in conversations with people who aren't judgmental assholes

Theres a kind of trend that happens with peoples development which is seen all over the world. People that appear to flourish during school years are often miserable later in life. Like they peaked to early or something. Its a pattern that repeats through generations even though they're different. Similarly, on the other side of that coin, people that struggled socially in school often end up blooming later in life. There's obviously many factors in this and whilst there's no guarantees there is at least some hope.

Maybe some research and learning about methods to handle your issues would help. Sounds very obvious I know, and you probably already did some of this but it's worth persevering with IMHO. I think the most important thing is finding a way to o position yourself with the right people. Fuck all these vapid self obsessed idiots. They're never going to be cool. Even if you didn't have bpd they'd still be dicks. They're no good for any type of person and are toxic to themselves as much as others. Finding the right people to socialise with is hard for everyone that has a mind of their own. Acquaintances are fine but they're not friend or partner material. If you get my meaning. Real good people are few and far between. They are out there though.

As for deleting social media, I recommend it highly. It doesn't serve the true purpose it should. It just allows people to edit their true lives in the eyes of others and allows companies to make advertising revenue. It's all bollocks and zaps your positivity which could be better directed alswhere.

When you meet people you see yourself having any kind of future relationship with I'd recommend being open about the issues you have so they're forewarned and can attribute any issues they perceive to it down the line. That way they don't automatically assume you're being a dick. It's probably hard to open up but it's the best way and when people (particularly prospective partners) see you being vulnerable with them it will endear them to you. They'll be more inclined to be forgiving when needed too.

As long as you're honestly identifying and working on the things that set you back in terms of the way your bpd effects you, you can hold your head high. It's okay to be flawed. Give yourself a break.

 

[Baemo]

It doesn't seem stupid at all. Don't shoot yourself down like that.

For what it's worth you still have plenty of time to come into your own. Might I suggest some local support groups? Free ones exist and they're not always great but it would be a potential way to getting involved in conversations with people who aren't judgmental assholes

Theres a kind of trend that happens with peoples development which is seen all over the world. People that appear to flourish during school years are often miserable later in life. Like they peaked to early or something. Its a pattern that repeats through generations even though they're different. Similarly, on the other side of that coin, people that struggled socially in school often end up blooming later in life. There's obviously many factors in this and whilst there's no guarantees there is at least some hope.

Maybe some research and learning about methods to handle your issues would help. Sounds very obvious I know, and you probably already did some of this but it's worth persevering with IMHO. I think the most important thing is finding a way to o position yourself with the right people. Fuck all these vapid self obsessed idiots. They're never going to be cool. Even if you didn't have bpd they'd still be dicks. They're no good for any type of person and are toxic to themselves as much as others. Finding the right people to socialise with is hard for everyone that has a mind of their own. Acquaintances are fine but they're not friend or partner material. If you get my meaning. Real good people are few and far between. They are out there though.

As for deleting social media, I recommend it highly. It doesn't serve the true purpose it should. It just allows people to edit their true lives in the eyes of others and allows companies to make advertising revenue. It's all bollocks and zaps your positivity which could be better directed alswhere.

When you meet people you see yourself having any kind of future relationship with I'd recommend being open about the issues you have so they're forewarned and can attribute any issues they perceive to it down the line. That way they don't automatically assume you're being a dick. It's probably hard to open up but it's the best way and when people (particularly prospective partners) see you being vulnerable with them it will endear them to you. They'll be more inclined to be forgiving when needed too.

As long as you're honestly identifying and working on the things that set you back in terms of the way your bpd effects you, you can hold your head high. It's okay to be flawed. Give yourself a break.

Thank you for your support <3

 

[Julgran]

Hello everyone,

I am writing this post because I feel so sad and I have none to talk to and I cannot afford therapy. I have bpd and life is very very hard for me. I am above avarage good looking guy and I don't have a girlfriend, meanwhile everyone at my age(I am 19) has a girlfriend and is so happy. Some even have had a girlfriend since they were 15 or 14. I never had sex. Everytime I talk to one I ruin things because of my disorder. (BPD)Some people at my age have got a lot of money and girls come to them, but I don't have a lot of money and I am not good with girls either because I am ill. I cannot afford therapy either. While everyone else lives a normal and good life, every day of my life is miserable.

You don't need to feel out of order or left behind, because many people in today's society are lonely - both men and women.

I quit smoking almost 2 years ago, hoping that I would change and start a new life and today I started smoking again because things are going really bad and I couldn't help myself.

Quitting smoking could have been a good start, probably, because you probably need to focus on improving your own life before you can find a significant other. Now, I don't mean to get into stereotypes, but if I am to give a few examples, we can start with the fact that you are only 19 years old. The first thing you can do is to finnish school. Then, you find a moderately good-paying job. Lastly, you get an apartment or house which you decorate and take care of as if you are a male bird who's building its nest for a potential female bird.

Since you are in this position, you may have heard many things about the situation in itself, or about the relationship between men and women - none of that is important. You can only focus in you. However, one other option is to use your network of friends to find someone who's single and looking, but that requires you to have friends who can introduce you to someone.

Besides this I have a really bad relationship with my parents because my adoptive mother mentally abused me since I was a kid. My biological mother left me when I was 6 months old and now I sent her a message on facebook and she won't even reply. I feel so bad everyday is a nightmare and think about killing myself.

I'm very sorry for your difficult upbringing. Do you have a better relationship with you father, or perhaps one or more siblings?

I want to delete my social media because the things that people post really it annoys me because all they do is brag about the things they have, the happy life they live and I don't, but if I delete it I will never be with a girl because these days they are all on instagram.

Various people will agree or disagree about the benefits or downsides of social media. According to me, it hasn't made the world better, and it has only made dating worse. Sure, maybe girls use Instagram - I wouldn't know, because I don't use any social media - but, as I said, you may be able to find someone through your network of friends instead.

I know all this might seem stupid to some of you because you have much worse problems than I do, but I needed to get things off my chest.

Sending lots of love to all of you in struggle. <3

Don't worry, friend - your issues aren't stupid. All personal issues are important, and are the most pressing for the person who experiences them