I am so fucking stupid. I make myself sick. I feel so stupid and used and just so tired of it all. I want to cut so bad. I just want to cut so deep I bleed out. I want to cut my fucking wrists open. I should've known better. I will always be miserable. No matter what. I should just keep my head down until I kill myself. It's pointless trying to be better, and normal. It feels like everytime I think I'm a step ahead, I get thrown 10 steps behind. And I'm not strong enough to take it all.
SquirrelsInMyPants
Member
- Nov 4, 2020
- 26
I know how that feels, life gets so difficult and everything is so fast that you feel left out, I can't promise you that it gets better because I don't know that, but I'm sure that there will be little moments that may make life look good, you can wait for those moments to come or you can ctb, either way, know that you aren't alone un what you're feeling
Hi @Roseate. I am 65 years young and I am not smart BUT I do have ALOT of life experience on my side. With that said, 1) YOU ARE STRONG 2) YOU are NOT NOT stupid ever. Believe me when I say that you are not stupid and that you are strong. I was always told by my "parents", they never wanted me and kicked me out at 18 and I never heard from them again, their choice. I figured that I had a imaginary "back pack" on, loaded with "rocks". These "rocks" were about me feeling stupid and not strong and really ugly also. One day I threw a few of the "rocks" out of the "back pack" because they were weighing me down and doing nothing but making me feel bad. Now you , again, are a wonderful person with so much to give yourself, the world, your global family here and little ol' me. I NEED you @Roseate as you are a integral part of our family here and I count on having you here to help give me hope, love and your insight. I send you all my caring and love along with a endless supply of empathy and SUPPORT. Walter (yes Walter is my real first name, I am 65 with gray hair and I am 100% honest and never phoney) 
alittlehuman_
It is always darkest before the dawn
- Mar 26, 2021
- 35
Who taught you to talk about yourself like that. This is abuse. So tell more. Give an example of what make a human smarter than you if you are human?
Someone who knows better? Someone who makes good decisions? Someone who doesn't allow others to hurt them? Someone who is mentally strong? Someone normal?
Thanks but It's true. I am stupid. I'll always be stupid. It is what it is.Hi @Roseate. I am 65 years young and I am not smart BUT I do have ALOT of life experience on my side. With that said, 1) YOU ARE STRONG 2) YOU are NOT NOT stupid ever. Believe me when I say that you are not stupid and that you are strong. I was always told by my "parents", they never wanted me and kicked me out at 18 and I never heard from them again, their choice. I figured that I had a imaginary "back pack" on, loaded with "rocks". These "rocks" were about me feeling stupid and not strong and really ugly also. One day I threw a few of the "rocks" out of the "back pack" because they were weighing me down and doing nothing but making me feel bad. Now you , again, are a wonderful person with so much to give yourself, the world, your global family here and little ol' me. I NEED you @Roseate as you are a integral part of our family here and I count on having you here to help give me hope, love and your insight. I send you all my caring and love along with a endless supply of empathy and SUPPORT. Walter (yes Walter is my real first name, I am 65 with gray hair and I am 100% honest and never phoney)
It's not about it going so fast at all. But ugh I don't know I just don't belong here. At all. I keep trying and it all just seems like a big waste.
It seems you're going through a lot but sometimes, just like today, I feel the same.
I wish I was just stronger and had the guts to end it all but it seems I can't.
Anyway, hope things get better somehow, my friend.
I wish I was just stronger and had the guts to end it all but it seems I can't.
Anyway, hope things get better somehow, my friend.
HI again! @Roseate , but I have to disagree, in a good natured way, with you about you being stupid. I have been on this earth for 65 plus years, no smarter than anyone BUT I do have ALOT of life expereince. My life experience tells me that YOU ARE a brave, strong, beautiful and SMART, yes SMART person. All through my years I have had the expereince of meeting people from alot of places on this earth. You are a intelligent and loving soul, look at the way you think and write your posts, and this alone shows that you are NOT stupid in the least EVER. I felt that way back in 1974, yep, I am old! when my "parents" kicked me out BUT..BUT with the grace of time, I learned that I did/do have a brain and smarts. EVERYONE does and so do YOU. YOU help ME as you are part of our global family, I feel the love and SUPPORT of everyone here and I am sending YOU my LOVE and SUPPORT!!!!! My wish for you is a bright sunny day, good food and the warm embrace of all of us here!!! Walter
It'll never get better. It's just going to keep getting worse.
No offense but your experience doesn't really make what I know to be any less true. Your experiences are your experiences and they can only offer you insights into your own life. Not into my life.HI again! @Roseate , but I have to disagree, in a good natured way, with you about you being stupid. I have been on this earth for 65 plus years, no smarter than anyone BUT I do have ALOT of life expereince. My life experience tells me that YOU ARE a brave, strong, beautiful and SMART, yes SMART person. All through my years I have had the expereince of meeting people from alot of places on this earth. You are a intelligent and loving soul, look at the way you think and write your posts, and this alone shows that you are NOT stupid in the least EVER. I felt that way back in 1974, yep, I am old! when my "parents" kicked me out BUT..BUT with the grace of time, I learned that I did/do have a brain and smarts. EVERYONE does and so do YOU. YOU help ME as you are part of our global family, I feel the love and SUPPORT of everyone here and I am sending YOU my LOVE and SUPPORT!!!!! My wish for you is a bright sunny day, good food and the warm embrace of all of us here!!! Walter
Deathbydemo
Mage
- Feb 15, 2020
- 518
You are not stupid at all, you are hurting. 
Do you want to talk about it?
Do you want to talk about it?I am stupid. I should've known better. Everyone is bad. There are no happy endings. And it doesn't get better not for people like me. I'll never get better. I'm such a worthless piece of shit and that's the truth.You are not stupid at all, you are hurting.
Hi, Absolutely no offense at all. I am just was trying to bring a smile to your face and the knowledge that I love and care for you. I truly apologize as I meant No disrespect to you or your situation. Walter
It doesn't help and it doesn't make a difference. So what you claim to care? It's not going to make everything else go away. Everything is going to stay the same in the end anyways. Nothing makes a difference cuz at the end of the day, I'm still stuck with all of it. It's still suffocating me. It's still torturing me. And it still fucking kills me on the inside little by little.Hi, Absolutely no offense at all. I am just was trying to bring a smile to your face and the knowledge that I love and care for you. I truly apologize as I meant No disrespect to you or your situation. Walter
Deathbydemo
Mage
- Feb 15, 2020
- 518
What makes you think you are worthless? I'm sorry you're in pain. This life really is a fucking joke sometimes.
Makko
Iä!
- Jan 17, 2021
- 2,430
The problem with this policy is that it will sap your energy to go through with the act. Impulses arise from the sharp pain of immediate failure, not from the dull pain of feeling generally inadequate. You'll be more successful in both living and dying if you do things. Not doing things will prolong your limbo.
