Lullaby
🌙
- Mar 9, 2022
- 650
Sometimes I really feel like there's stickers all over my body just advertising that I'm an idiot and easy to manipulate. It really feels like no one cares about me.
Made a group of friends last year, but it seemed like they were more annoyed at me being around. I would disappear and no one would notice or reach out.
I had one close friend recently admit feelings for me, and I was going to have a conversation about maybe making things official but now he's suddenly super busy and I can't help but feel it's me again somehow, or that he was just lying. I could be overreacting, but after being screwed over so many times, it's really just what I expect the outcome to be.
I feel like such a placeholder, or a doormat for everyone that comes through my life…I thought I had gotten better at protecting myself and not caring.
My dad and my cat are the only two in my life that I feel genuine love from, and most days I feel like even they deserve better than me. A lot of times I genuinely feel like I was a mistake, like I'm not supposed to be here and that's why no one wants me around.
This probably could've gone into my journal, but I figured folks here might relate.
Made a group of friends last year, but it seemed like they were more annoyed at me being around. I would disappear and no one would notice or reach out.
I had one close friend recently admit feelings for me, and I was going to have a conversation about maybe making things official but now he's suddenly super busy and I can't help but feel it's me again somehow, or that he was just lying. I could be overreacting, but after being screwed over so many times, it's really just what I expect the outcome to be.
I feel like such a placeholder, or a doormat for everyone that comes through my life…I thought I had gotten better at protecting myself and not caring.
My dad and my cat are the only two in my life that I feel genuine love from, and most days I feel like even they deserve better than me. A lot of times I genuinely feel like I was a mistake, like I'm not supposed to be here and that's why no one wants me around.
This probably could've gone into my journal, but I figured folks here might relate.