Venting i feel so lonely it hurts

[imademypicture]

It hurts to be this lonely. I want to hug, hold hands, put my head on one's shoulder, look at the stars together, something!!! I want to get a pet dog but I am scared I'm just gonna give up on it because of my mood swings.
Oh god it's just so lonely it hurts so much. I can't cry or do anything about it. I can't feel anything. I have friends but nobody is worthwhile. I have this immense amount of love inside me but I have no one to give it to. I read this quote by someone who posted here the other day which said "Grief is love with nowhere to go" and it's so true. I wish my sister was still alive. I still don't know why she chose death but I want to see her again. I want to die too. To see her.
I want to cry now. Sometimes I have a bad day. Some days I have suicidal tendencies. But days out of the blue, like today, point everything back to her death. I have this moment of realisation of my loneliness. And it hurts so bad when I think about it.
I hope I see her soon. I miss her.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I think i know a little bit how you feel.... Big hug to you, hope it helps a bit

 

[alexK]

I've never felt alone when I had my cats now I feel like a lonely robot that is unlovable. My cats gave me so much love and affection I miss them terribly. I had to give them up for personal reasons but I feel like I lost them forever. I hope the person that has them give them the love they deserve. I have so much love that I don't think anyone around me needs or would ever ask for.

 

[Lostnotfound]

I totally get this, and the 'nobody is worthwhile' everyone takes as an insult but its not. When you've been kicked down this far its a real feeling. I know it doesn't help you knowing this but maybe it validates it a little