S
saturn1402
Take me back to the night we met
- Sep 13, 2024
- 112
On the surface, I have everything—looks, a good job, good health. But inside, I feel nothing but an unbearable emptiness and incredible pain. I've come to hate everything about myself, even the things I once loved.
All it took was one person, one bad relationship (I m not blaming the other person, I'm blaming myself for being so weak), to strip away all light and purpose from my life.
And I feel so damn guilty for feeling this way. I know there are people facing unimaginable struggles—battling illness, living in poverty, carrying the weight of lifelong mental health issues. I know my pain shouldn't compare. But no matter what I try to do and how much I try to be strong, I feel dead inside already…
I've been crying non stop for the past 6 months. I am ashamed to be out (although I force myself to be social ) because I developed a horrible body image disorder, I feel disgusting every time I look at the mirror. I am tired of living, tired of pretending to be alive.
And mostly I hate myself for being so weak cause I know most people take breakups easy. Most people recover from toxic relationships and move on. Most people would just say 'fuck it, he was a liar and cheater' but I can't. I still love him. I am still grateful for everything good he has done for me. I still wish him all the happiness in the world.
All it took was one person, one bad relationship (I m not blaming the other person, I'm blaming myself for being so weak), to strip away all light and purpose from my life.
And I feel so damn guilty for feeling this way. I know there are people facing unimaginable struggles—battling illness, living in poverty, carrying the weight of lifelong mental health issues. I know my pain shouldn't compare. But no matter what I try to do and how much I try to be strong, I feel dead inside already…
I've been crying non stop for the past 6 months. I am ashamed to be out (although I force myself to be social ) because I developed a horrible body image disorder, I feel disgusting every time I look at the mirror. I am tired of living, tired of pretending to be alive.
And mostly I hate myself for being so weak cause I know most people take breakups easy. Most people recover from toxic relationships and move on. Most people would just say 'fuck it, he was a liar and cheater' but I can't. I still love him. I am still grateful for everything good he has done for me. I still wish him all the happiness in the world.