I feel so alone

[OutOfThisBody]

I fear that no one will like me if they knew I wanted to commit suicide. I feel so alone and hated right now. But I can't run from the truth anymore.

 

[HighFlight]

It really sucks to feel alone and hated. I'm sorry you're going through this. But we are here for you, and don't hate you. What's going on?

 

[AnimusLapsus]

No person deserves to feel crushed by the weight of solitude. Loneliness is a poison that draws out the breath perniciously, devastatingly. With speech strained, hope lost, and no dependable shoulder to reinovigorate your voice, it is entirely understandable you feel despondent. However, candor is often the first step to genuine connection. Depression coats the world and our perception of it with a veil of negativity. It is scientifically proven that depressed individuals are more likely to perceive neutral events as hostile or unkind; chronic sorrow dims the luster of life and skews white light with a hue of grey. I frequently have to push myself to give others the benefit of the doubt, reminding myself that my neurochemistry is working against me. Do you have anybody you trust that you can open up to, even if it feels uncomfortable or scary?

 

[OutOfThisBody]

It really sucks to feel alone and hated. I'm sorry you're going through this. But we are here for you, and don't hate you. What's going on?

It's a touchy subject on here, so I'm a bit afraid still to explain.

I'm feeling suicidal because I was born as a woman, specifically because I feel like being born with a weaker body has limited me, such as difficulty going out at night.

I like to look at the stars and smell the night air and the thought I can't is anger and shame inducing.

It agonizes me because I feel like if I were born as a man I could be strong enough to defend myself, and do more things like going out at night alone, and not be as limited in what I can do.

My country also has strict gun laws and pepperspray and mace are illegal. So self defense with this goddamn body I was born into is impossible.

I can't stand to live my life envious like this and always be reminded of what I can't do, because I was born afab which I didnt even choose, and I feel like I need to leave my body behind to find the honor, strength, and peace I want.

There's really nothing to do but die for me, because these are the facts.

That's the jist.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

As an older man, it makes me so sad to read of your feelings, which are honest and totally valid. Only women can be mothers, carry a child in the womb, give birth, properly nurse a baby, be what only a mother can be to a child. And yet, the world makes you feel unsafe. Women by nature deserve all the honor, strength and peace the world can give them. It's not your fault. You deserve so much more.