Venting I feel selfish for wanting to ctb

[water bunny]

I don't want to ctb but i feel like i have to eventually. I find it impossible to find an ambition or a will to live no matter how hard i try. At the same time it feels like i have never went through any hardships that make me deserving of this opportunity to easy exit. I have close friends, a family that cares about me (although they're sometimes the reason i want to ctb), the best partner ever, a roof over my head and so on. I guess the reason i'm suicidal is because my mind overexaggerates my problems. However another part of me feels like i'm narrating them with full authenticity.

I don't have a valid reason for wanting to die. I know people will miss me and i will traumatise my partner and family for a long while but i still want to ctb. It feels attention seeking in a way. I wish i could get help but therapy is expensive and i'm broke

I feel like my partner would be better off with someone else. I feel like a burden to him. He has tried to fix my problems but he's grown frustrated because i never change. We are still young and he still has the chance to meet someone better. He is considered attractive whereas i am considered ugly. If there's a better time to let him go and find someone he truly adores, it will be now. I have attachment issues so the only way i can do this is by ctb

 

[Enlighten]

I don't want to ctb but i feel like i have to eventually. I find it impossible to find an ambition or a will to live no matter how hard i try. At the same time it feels like i have never went through any hardships that make me deserving of this opportunity to easy exit. I have close friends, a family that cares about me (although they're sometimes the reason i want to ctb), the best partner ever, a roof over my head and so on. I guess the reason i'm suicidal is because my mind overexaggerates my problems. However another part of me feels like i'm narrating them with full authenticity.

I don't have a valid reason for wanting to die. I know people will miss me and i will traumatise my partner and family for a long while but i still want to ctb. It feels attention seeking in a way. I wish i could get help but therapy is expensive and i'm broke

I feel like my partner would be better off with someone else. I feel like a burden to him. He has tried to fix my problems but he's grown frustrated because i never change. We are still young and he still has the chance to meet someone better. He is considered attractive whereas i am considered ugly. If there's a better time to let him go and find someone he truly adores, it will be now. I have attachment issues so the only way i can do this is by ctb

I'm sorry you feel this way. Your feelings are always valid, don't question them. If you want to talk, i'd love to talk to you. I'm no psychologist, but i like to listen :)

 

[Christo]

There is nothing selfish about wanting to cbt. Just because people think it is selfish doesn't make it selfish.
If you think about it, bringing a new kid into this world is way more selfish than wanting to cbt but still people do it all the time without even thinking about the consequences.