Venting I feel more suicidal and fear at the same time.

[placeholder]

I feel more suicidal about my shitty life and daunting future. But at the same time I feel more fear to kill myself too due to religion reason and I am afraid that afterlife or next life are bad or get punishment.

It just like tug of war. Suicidal team and feard team, both of them used A unit force to pull the rope. Some time later, both of them use 3A unit force to pull the rope.

 

[Anon2662]

I understand fearing the afterlife being bad or being punished. I don't really class myself as religious but the mere chance that could happen scares me.. but like you the need to ctb is strong. I've got to the point now where living is too painful so the suicidal urges are winning my tug of war. But I do understand how you feel about this..

 

[placeholder]

I understand fearing the afterlife being bad or being punished. I don't really class myself as religious but the mere chance that could happen scares me.. but like you the need to ctb is strong. I've got to the point now where living is too painful so the suicidal urges are winning my tug of war. But I do understand how you feel about this..

The feeling is so bad.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

Well, there is no afterlife. You've got that going for you. On the other hand, even the most dedicated of us get anxious about it. To riff on the fictional Eamon de Valera quote from the Julia Roberts and Liam Neeson flick Michael Collins

"The fact that I was born in America will save my hide* Either way, I am ready for what comes. My autism will be no longer. It will be closed by my life blood denouncing it. And by shooting myself, I bring more people to the cause of suicide. They cannot hospitalize us forever. And from the day of your release, Sanctioned Suicide, you must release as if choice is a fact. You defeat the pro lifers, by ignoring them!"
*2nd Amendment, thank fucking God. like fuck pro gun people but I just would not have the cojoines for anything besides 10 grams of copper

 

[theguineapigking]

I totally get what you mean.

The fact is that we don't know what there is after death. It doesn't matter what anyone says. WE.DON'T.KNOW.

I can say that punishing someone for eternity is not something that a loving God would do. Catholics are accused of making up hell to scare people into believing in their religion.


Many people are insane. Some claim this. Some claim that. So many religions. Some people "see" things. There is no way from a truly logical viewpoint to know if there's something after death or not. There really isn't. Maybe our souls do live on. Maybe the consciousness is energy that connects with the brain. Maybe not.



I have a gut feeling that there's something after death. I feel that religion isn't the case. It's probably more equivalent to the astral plane realm. But I could be completely wrong.




There's really no good answer on suicide. I guess that based on hell "maybe" existing,it's best to not ctb. But I just have to say that even if some form of Christianity is real,how would a loving,fair God justify torturing someone forever and ever for a single lifetime sin(sin from God's perspective). He made humans the way they are. He made the brains the way they are. Some people have messed up brains and do bad things. The brain can be injured and cause someone to become bitter or crazy. This means that the brain likely is responsible for personality,at least for the most part,rather than the spirit.(based on a religious spirit). So how could God punish a spirit for a human brain fault? If God did that,he'd be an idiotic asshole. Also,how is killing your human body so bad? It's a human body. Someone could go and kill thousands of people and suffer the same fate as you killing your own vessel? I mean come on? If God gets so hurt over a stupid Apple and killing a vessel(like destroying a car sort of),he needs to take a long look at himself.



So by logic,if God exists and is loving,he wouldn't allow any hell to exist. He'd be loving and teach us our wrongs. Not send you to hell to burn forever. Additionally,many things in the Bible are contradicting.

You may see people say that God's morality is pure and that's why we don't understand it. That's obviously bullshit that some Christian fanboy spat out to justify their God.




This is based on a religious God. Obviously there could be an evil God that punishes people. Anything is possible. But I wouldn't bet on it.



This is a long and logical answer.



I wish you well. If you ever need someone to chat with,I'm here for you.

 

[andy69]

I feel the same way. I have been sucidial for years. I joined this site about a year ago, but unfortunately I am still here and in a tremendous amount of pain.

 

[placeholder]

I totally get what you mean.

The fact is that we don't know what there is after death. It doesn't matter what anyone says. WE.DON'T.KNOW.

I can say that punishing someone for eternity is not something that a loving God would do. Catholics are accused of making up hell to scare people into believing in their religion.


Many people are insane. Some claim this. Some claim that. So many religions. Some people "see" things. There is no way from a truly logical viewpoint to know if there's something after death or not. There really isn't. Maybe our souls do live on. Maybe the consciousness is energy that connects with the brain. Maybe not.



I have a gut feeling that there's something after death. I feel that religion isn't the case. It's probably more equivalent to the astral plane realm. But I could be completely wrong.




There's really no good answer on suicide. I guess that based on hell "maybe" existing,it's best to not ctb. But I just have to say that even if some form of Christianity is real,how would a loving,fair God justify torturing someone forever and ever for a single lifetime sin(sin from God's perspective). He made humans the way they are. He made the brains the way they are. Some people have messed up brains and do bad things. The brain can be injured and cause someone to become bitter or crazy. This means that the brain likely is responsible for personality,at least for the most part,rather than the spirit.(based on a religious spirit). So how could God punish a spirit for a human brain fault? If God did that,he'd be an idiotic asshole. Also,how is killing your human body so bad? It's a human body. Someone could go and kill thousands of people and suffer the same fate as you killing your own vessel? I mean come on? If God gets so hurt over a stupid Apple and killing a vessel(like destroying a car sort of),he needs to take a long look at himself.



So by logic,if God exists and is loving,he wouldn't allow any hell to exist. He'd be loving and teach us our wrongs. Not send you to hell to burn forever. Additionally,many things in the Bible are contradicting.

You may see people say that God's morality is pure and that's why we don't understand it. That's obviously bullshit that some Christian fanboy spat out to justify their God.




This is based on a religious God. Obviously there could be an evil God that punishes people. Anything is possible. But I wouldn't bet on it.



This is a long and logical answer.



I wish you well. If you ever need someone to chat with,I'm here for you.

Although I am not Christian but I do understand that the fear of getting punishment since it is in my religion too. And thanks for your compassion and be willing to keep me company.

I feel the same way. I have been sucidial for years. I joined this site about a year ago, but unfortunately I am still here and in a tremendous amount of pain.

I am so sorry for it. There are another people go through this situation like me.

 

[s1mplem3]

I think we're already being punished in our lives.

 

[hatelife]

I feel the same way. I have been sucidial for years. I joined this site about a year ago, but unfortunately I am still here and in a tremendous amount of pain.

yeah same, I was just thinking of finally trying again in a few days and I saw something on teve tonight and these men who were abused by their parents said their dad was kinda evil in life and didnt even visit them in hospital so it got me thinking even if God is evil and or doesnt exist, it doesnt mean I should be evil also and suicide and put my mom in so much pain, I also dont want to be remembered as evil, I think deep down I want to be kind and good and care for my family members, but really its like im in hell here already, im only living for them now, I dont have any of my own life, its really bad like u said.

What makes me most sad is how different I see the world now compared to when I was a child, its so sad we who even were abused in young years had hope left for the future at least, some parts of my childhood were good also, it was only like 20 percent bad, miss being a child compared to this

 

[andy69]

yeah same, I was just thinking of finally trying again in a few days and I saw something on teve tonight and these men who were abused by their parents said their dad was kinda evil in life and didnt even visit them in hospital so it got me thinking even if God is evil and or doesnt exist, it doesnt mean I should be evil also and suicide and put my mom in so much pain, I also dont want to be remembered as evil, I think deep down I want to be kind and good and care for my family members, but really its like im in hell here already, im only living for them now, I dont have any of my own life, its really bad like u said

I kinda get what you are saying. I have no friends. Everyone I have known has betrayed me or pushed me aside. I feel like I some sort of bad person. I don't want to be seen that way.

 

[LittleJem]

I've been scared my next life will be worse - as this one I've got a roof over my head, food, support.
but these days, the depression is so bad, I just want it over and I don't care.

 

[hatelife]

I kinda get what you are saying. I have no friends. Everyone I have known has betrayed me or pushed me aside. I feel like I some sort of bad person. I don't want to be seen that way.

yes same I have none either, I think its because we are depressed, people also push aside sick ppl like the ones with cancer I have read, but I kinda have always been leftout even as a child I was never really accepted. I have a bit like autism/aspbergers personality

 

[Icarus]

@placeholder I feel you. They say you reap what you sow. Suicide sows lots of pain, anguish, guilt, etc. in your loved ones. I believe in the afterlife and immortal soul. I have a strong feeling one way or another I will be suffering for eternity. Just a mere, false hope suicide will kill the consciousness. It fucking sucks. However, at this point it's a matter of when not if. Best of luck with any choice you make!

 

[placeholder]

@placeholder I feel you. They say you reap what you sow. Suicide sows lots of pain, anguish, guilt, etc. in your loved ones. I believe in the afterlife and immortal soul. I have a strong feeling one way or another I will be suffering for eternity. Just a mere, false hope suicide will kill the consciousness. It fucking sucks. However, at this point it's a matter of when not if. Best of luck with any choice you make!

It is really scary.