Sheisgoneee
Member
- Dec 19, 2025
- 6
I don't see the use of living if I cannot even enjoy anything. I am scared to go to work, scared to go to school, and scared to be happy. I don't even know if I am allowed to live anymore. I wish someone could see everything that happens in my head and guide me but that is impossible. I am mentally not okay and obviously people don't care enough, at least the ones I wish would care don't. I tried to stay here out of spite but I always end up back to square one. I am a senior in college and this is supposed to be my last year. I know I should be happy and finish what I started but I am so tired of just being here. I am tired of waking up, tired of thinking, tired of praying to a God that seems to hate me. I tried stabbing myself, but I didn't realize the strength required for that. Overdosing does not work either and you end up feeling ashamed of yourself. I tried getting SN, and other chemicals mentioned on her but I am unable to find any online. I also tried suffocation with dry ice, but my survival instincts got in the way because it was too painful to breathe in. I think it's because of the state I live in and I do not know what else I could use. I think I am also on a suicide watch list with people trying to keep me from doing but the happy days are very few and I am growing very tired of feeling things.
