I feel like such a worthless piece of garbage.

[BitterlyAlive]

It's noon here and I've been sleeping all day. I have phone calls that I've needed to make all week and I still haven't done it. One is really important, it's about my finances and could save me a bunch of money. I have to call about my FMLA, I have to call about my insurance. But I'm so tired, and I think about having to talk to people and feel sick/teary.

I think about the awful consequences of not calling and it just makes me feel worse, but doesn't bring me any closer to calling anyone. I don't understand why I can't just bloody do it. I feel so stupid and worthless.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I do the same thing. You're not alone.
And I don't think you're worthless.

 

[Mr2005]

I am a worthless piece of garbage

 

[Panna]

Not to pry too much, but do you have someone else who could help you to make these calls, so that the pressure isn't all on you? I am similar in the sense where some days, despite knowing it needs done, course work, chores, etc, I just cant force myself to do it, and in those scenarios, my mothers nagging helps to light a fire under me to get them done.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I do that. I procrastinate with things I really need to get done until they have become huge and unsurmountable in my head. They sit on my to do list and stare at me.
You are certainly not worthless. Sometimes even the little things can seem daunting to all of us.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I ended up driving out to a coffee shop and called the most important people while I was in the parking lot. I'm absolutely furious at how the conversation went and I just drove home. I'm too upset to even try to make any more phone calls today. I'm going to owe so much money due to the incompetence of a professional I saw earlier this year. I feel sick and even more anxious because my parents are just going to use it as another reason to put me down when I bring it up. As if I don't already know I'm wasting my life and basically rotting.

I feel like an even bigger piece of crap. But thanks for the support, guys.

 

[Cherrypea]

I ended up driving out to a coffee shop and called the most important people while I was in the parking lot. I'm absolutely furious at how the conversation went and I just drove home. I'm too upset to even try to make any more phone calls today. I'm going to owe so much money due to the incompetence of a professional I saw earlier this year. I feel sick and even more anxious because my parents are just going to use it as another reason to put me down when I bring it up. As if I don't already know I'm wasting my life and basically rotting.

I feel like an even bigger piece of crap. But thanks for the support, guys.

You tried though, that's important xx

 

[BitterlyAlive]

You tried though, that's important xx

Yeah... I tried. And I got one answer at least.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I feel so stupid and worthless.

Me, most of my life

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Me, most of my life

I am a worthless piece of garbage

I just wanted to say it's really sad that you guys feel this way too. I hear you both and although it sucks, we can at least relate to each other.

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I dont just feel that way i literally am.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I have a bunch of things that I need to do but I just keep stalling. procrastinating. I just don't have the energy and focus to get anything done I'm a complete train wreck considering that fact that suicide is not that far away so I just think "what's the point?"

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

I know the feeling. I'm stupid and worthless too.

 

[Panna]

I have a bunch of things that I need to do but I just keep stalling. procrastinating. I just don't have the energy and focus to get anything done I'm a complete train wreck considering that fact that suicide is not that far away so I just think "what's the point?"

Pretty much, it won't matter much in the end. It's that kind of thinking that makes me just do fun things and the consequences be damned. When life isnt fun anymore, ill be ready to go.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I have a bunch of things that I need to do but I just keep stalling. procrastinating. I just don't have the energy and focus to get anything done I'm a complete train wreck considering that fact that suicide is not that far away so I just think "what's the point?"

I've always been fueled by anxiety and a sense of duty. It pushed me through college and it's keeping me here rn. So even though I feel like shit I tend to eventually get the important things done. I just don't want to leave problems for other people.
Self care on the other hand....pshhh. lmao yeah that doesn't actually happen. I'm too apathetic and I take months to do it anymore. I don't care about myself.

 

[Panna]

Self care on the other hand....pshhh. lmao yeah that doesn't actually happen. I'm too apathetic and I take months to do it anymore. I don't care about myself.

I getcha ya on this one, in my case, im just too busy focusing on other things, I really just don't care about that. I should I suppose since nothing brings me more stress than having folks acting like im some kind of abomination or low classed thug, but on the other hand most people aren't worth the effort to care what they think. Ironic since im conditioned to treat them otherwise even though I know this on a mental level. sorry for the ramble