Venting I feel like nothing happened

[IHurtTheOneILove]

I'm so lost about the last 48 hours. It is genuinely not sinking in that any of it is real.

I was gone, held a loaded gun in my mouth with no safety, totally cut off every piece of communication with everyone, and I just came home…?

Everyone is mad at me which seems counterintuitive, I've spoken with friends, but it hasnt fully settled.

Idk what this means for me mental health wise, i hope my mood swings arent apart ld a bigger problem.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

I'm so lost about the last 48 hours. It is genuinely not sinking in that any of it is real.

I was gone, held a loaded gun in my mouth with no safety, totally cut off every piece of communication with everyone, and I just came home…?

Everyone is mad at me which seems counterintuitive, I've spoken with friends, but it hasnt fully settled.

Idk what this means for me mental health wise, i hope my mood swings arent apart ld a bigger problem.

On balance, the fact that you are so determined to ctb even though your experience is 'just' a breakup based on regrettable behaviour…the fact that this causes such immense pain in you perhaps signifies that there is something psychological going on.

Which could potentially be treated? Not to say you should take drugs. But maybe therapy could help. Or maybe drugs could help.

It's worth looking at. What if you could be happy?

 

[melancholymallory03]

I'm so lost about the last 48 hours. It is genuinely not sinking in that any of it is real.

I was gone, held a loaded gun in my mouth with no safety, totally cut off every piece of communication with everyone, and I just came home…?

Everyone is mad at me which seems counterintuitive, I've spoken with friends, but it hasnt fully settled.

Idk what this means for me mental health wise, i hope my mood swings arent apart ld a bigger problem.

Try to Follow you're gut and intuition ,
There is no " right time " to be ready. You can have a simple outline , or reminders to have conversations with yourself about this, but at the end of the day, it's your choice, your choice alone. you might receive mixed amounts of negative and positive attention from ctb or not doing so, just do what makes you feel personal peace. What does peace look like for you? If it's ctb then work towards that, if it's something else then work towards that, if you're at a standstill try to let it be….
It's not okay that things are fucked up right now,and I hope you can gather the information you need from yourself to further make a decision and plan that works for you. You deserve peace, whatever that is, whatever it means for you.

On balance, the fact that you are so determined to ctb even though your experience is 'just' a breakup based on regrettable behaviour…the fact that this causes such immense pain in you perhaps signifies that there is something psychological going on.

Which could potentially be treated? Not to say you should take drugs. But maybe therapy could help. Or maybe drugs could help.

It's worth looking at. What if you could be happy?

hey I just wanted to leave this here idk why …….
I don't think people realize how much heartbreak and loss of someone contributes to someone actually carrying through with ctb….
….
One in five deaths by suicide is related to problems with current or former intimate partners such as divorce, separation, romantic breakups, conflicts, and intimate partner violence, a study in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine has found.
The results expand understanding of the relationship between intimate partner problems and suicidality, said LCDR Ayana Stanley, Dr.P.H., public health service officer and public health advisor in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Division of Violence Prevention

• 6.5 times the odds of having experienced interpersonal violence.
• 4.1 times the odds of having arguments with others such as family, friends, and associates.
• 2.7 times the odds of having a history of suicidal thoughts.
• 2.2 times the odds of interpersonal violence victimization.
• 2.1 times the odds of having a depressed mood.
• 2.0 times the odds of having financial problems.
• 2.0 times the odds of having problematic alcohol use.
• 1.6 times the odds of having recent legal problems.