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I swear I've beEn through tHis liFe befORE...
Jul 24, 2024
5
Not even the Rehab people who visit me actually don't give 2 shits about me. It's all about mood structuring with them and I don't want to follow them. Hear me out, they said last year I'm doing good and better every time they see me including recent times, when I'm REALLY down then they say, "you seem a bit flat" ... They haven't got the slightest idea on how it comes to actually give time to someone without feeling like they're giving me unnecessary emotional buoyancy, which they do.
And each of them in their own bizarre ways, too, have such an unimportant role in my life, they frustrate me. I'm not gonna have flashbacks and rant every single thing about each person that sees me, but mother of jeez... if I could just - somehow - I killed myself, then I could totally walk away from these lone, blame and misery fixtures that everybody in every lane just seems to have. This seems reasonable for me.
I can't sleep, I'm not in any condition for a job, I'm in pain, I shouldn't live.
 

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