I feel like I got nothing left

[lostNaloneNS]

I've had moments, off and on before my mom's accident where I just didn't want to be alive anymore. Then my mom was hit by a snowmobile, and even though she could sometimes contribute to my mental health issues (including but not limited to, getting me stay at a job I didn't like that also didn't make the money to cover everything), she also helped me work through how to deal with things.

Now, I've left the job that I didn't like (the official excuse that I was looking to be there for my mom, but it was also hard on my mental health as well because I never felt good enough there), my mom's health has obviously declined (she needs 24/7 care and cannot live on her own), and I am now essentially responsible for her. Meanwhile, most of my support systems are gone, and I need to find a new place to live… and I may not have my nieces around anymore and this used to help as a distraction… I had my phone disconnected (which, to be fair was a bill with two phones on it, but my brother, who had the other phone, only ever paid $100 on it the whole time we had the contract, so that put extra pressure on me and my mom to keep it going-before her accident. After her accident, that's when it got cut off…) So I'm likely going to have to declare bankruptcy, but I really want to go back to school (if I don't decide on the "exit ramp" to life first), because this seems like the best path towards stability in every sense… but I'm worried I won't be able to if I did declare bankruptcy.

I just feel like I've lost everything. Everything feels so hopeless, and I feel so lonely. I've never felt more like killing myself than I do now, and my brother keeps saying the same thing every time he sees me, which makes it even worse.

 

[HelloReaper]

There's always a way out. But try to see if you have any better options first

 

[Holu]

I wish I could offer advice, but honestly i don't know. Words rarely convey even fractions of actual emotion, but it's situations like these which even through words are able to present such an absurd amount of helplessness that I'm left speechless.

There's always a possibility of recovery, but there's also a point of no return. Ultimately, you are the only one to decide that.

If you are going the route of recovery, there are dozens of people here eager and ready to assist you.

If you're going the other path, then I'd encourage you to find a high success rate and low suffering method. Plenty on this forum and how to obtain the necessary items.

That being said, it's my personal advice to make sure you're as level headed and cognizant as possible. Take a breather, calm yourself down, whatever. Emotions running wild is dangerous, and it's impossible to remove them fully.

The most I and we as a community can honestly is to offer sympathy and comfort, and sadly that isn't much. I truly hope for the best for you. If you ever need anything feel free to send me a DM. Additionally, this community is always here to simply listen and chip in if you need to vent. I'm sorry for everything, truly. Best wishes and take care

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds really tiring what you are going through, it's just so awful how existing can easily get so much worse and it's understandable wishing to be free from all suffering. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[lostNaloneNS]

It sounds really tiring what you are going through, it's just so awful how existing can easily get so much worse and it's understandable wishing to be free from all suffering. But anyway I wish you the best.

It's why I don't understand why some seem to tell you something so simple like "it will work out" or whatever version of that which comes to them. Like I've been trying for so long and it's just gotten worse. And the worst part is there's no one to help with your problems, all they can do is say "oh, it will get better"… I'd like to see evidence of that…

it is nice to see a place that doesn't just try to talk me out of things… so many people give me those simplistic platitudes or whatever, as effective as a pat on the back… I Am beyond tired of simple words thrown at me without any real hope/help, or solutions there behind it… I've tried for so long and it's not getting any better. Even things that make me laugh are losing effectiveness… my brother is the worst of it because I understand his concerns, but if he could just not come at me with his concerns so frequently, maybe I could conceivably come up with solutions. But as it is, it just makes it seem like I'm losing the last of my support structures.