Venting I feel like an outcast where I live...

[Brayu]

First of all I feel like there are places where I could be treated even better than I deserve... a place where I am something.

But where I am, I was born and "live" I'm an outcast, everyone considers me pathetic, avoids me, they never tried to understand me, they blame me (and I myself end up feeling guilty)... I get isolated, I'm left to the sidelines for all (what a crap life is this)... Besides that this year I had important losses and the only girl who could really like me died... and I cannot repay. It's a weight I'll have to carry on my back for a lifetime (I'm still 23 years old, she was 20/21 just for the record).

Anyway... I won't be happy and as long as I'm in this place I can't leave I'll be an outcast as well as unhappy... here they talk a lot about equality, but they treat me worse than rubbish! I'm afraid of getting old, not in the physical sense, but knowing how long it will take for me to go to the other side (where maybe I'll find my friend...). This fear only grows each time I forgive someone I love, because it feels like I'll have to drag it even further.

Still having to deal with bipolar disorder... the cardiovascular system getting sick (I had a hypertensive crisis yesterday for example). If I knew that this or anything else would kill me, but it only added to my suffering (some of you warned me about the Sodium OD) and I remain an outcast. Maybe not even after death will I stop being...

 

[bored_user]

the tendency of the human being among so many people is to be the greatest, the most respected. With that, people who don't care about any kind of word, offense or action end up being put aside and used as a ladder to make someone else feel a little better in the middle of the circle of friends. Apparently you're just another one, who doesn't care about insults and used a ladder to make someone else feel better. They don't deserve you, a lot of people don't deserve you. Maybe we were born in the wrong place, at the wrong time, on the wrong planet.

I deeply hope that all these idiots fuck each other and that you can feel really good while still being the person you are.

fuck society, we evolved the wrong way.

 

[Vex]

First of all I feel like there are places where I could be treated even better than I deserve... a place where I am something.

But where I am, I was born and "live" I'm an outcast, everyone considers me pathetic, avoids me, they never tried to understand me, they blame me (and I myself end up feeling guilty)... I get isolated, I'm left to the sidelines for all (what a crap life is this)... Besides that this year I had important losses and the only girl who could really like me died... and I cannot repay. It's a weight I'll have to carry on my back for a lifetime (I'm still 23 years old, she was 20/21 just for the record).

Anyway... I won't be happy and as long as I'm in this place I can't leave I'll be an outcast as well as unhappy... here they talk a lot about equality, but they treat me worse than rubbish! I'm afraid of getting old, not in the physical sense, but knowing how long it will take for me to go to the other side (where maybe I'll find my friend...). This fear only grows each time I forgive someone I love, because it feels like I'll have to drag it even further.

Still having to deal with bipolar disorder... the cardiovascular system getting sick (I had a hypertensive crisis yesterday for example). If I knew that this or anything else would kill me, but it only added to my suffering (some of you warned me about the Sodium OD) and I remain an outcast. Maybe not even after death will I stop being...

If you do not mind me asking, what steps are you taking to not feel so ostracized?

Bipolar disorder is a heavy burden but Seroquel helps me greatly.

 

[Brayu]

If you do not mind me asking, what steps are you taking to not feel so ostracized?

Bipolar disorder is a heavy burden but Seroquel helps me greatly.

My friend, the world is very big... I was lucky to meet people during my life (23 years to mine is enough). As I said, there is always a place of refuge, but currently I cannot physically access it, much less live in it.

That place for me is the Republic of Ghana (which is a country full of traditional kingdoms and in one of them I am a dignitary). There, they value what I do, they value me and I reciprocate the love I express... In times of internet it remains a small refuge (even if I can no longer access people directly). I'm no better than them (although a traditional dignitary), my activity is not charity but political (since I am part of the "development court"), but I am taken seriously and do everything as seriously as possible.

This is my refuge from ostracism... even though I'm physically surrounded by people who don't know who I am and who treat me like an outcast (and isolate me socially). I hope this will revert soon or that I just die!

I think it's something a little unconventional, but you can try something like that... Open horizons and meet non-western communities or simply people from other environments (sometimes you help from a distance with technical knowledge, or use of creativity!)

It's not enough (that's why I'm letting off steam), but it alleviates a little! I don't know where you are from... but if you want to have a friend from Brazil you can talk to me.

the tendency of the human being among so many people is to be the greatest, the most respected. With that, people who don't care about any kind of word, offense or action end up being put aside and used as a ladder to make someone else feel a little better in the middle of the circle of friends. Apparently you're just another one, who doesn't care about insults and used a ladder to make someone else feel better. They don't deserve you, a lot of people don't deserve you. Maybe we were born in the wrong place, at the wrong time, on the wrong planet.

I deeply hope that all these idiots fuck each other and that you can feel really good while still being the person you are.

fuck society, we evolved the wrong way.

You're right, most people don't like it... They don't care if they want to meet us, I'm sure most people I live with don't know half of the things I do or am (either the positive or the negative things) . They won't know until I die!

Their bad luck not knowing us and taking it seriously!

 

[FuneralCry]

It can be isolating, feeling as though you are an outcast. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Some people can be so cruel and awful, no one should have to be treated like that. Being alive really can be horrible, I wish you the best.

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

From what I understand, you are Brazilian, and here in Brazil if you are not a NT you are ostracized. I've been ostracized and alone my whole life, never had friends or women because I'm a non-NT.

 

[Brayu]

From what I understand, you are Brazilian, and here in Brazil if you are not a NT you are ostracized. I've been ostracized and alone my whole life, never had friends or women because I'm a non-NT.

Yes here we have very few variables! It is usually economic and above all psychic (here everyone wants to be a coach).

Anyway! If you are not economically active or are simply NT in Brazil...
I still have a refuge! but the air I breathe is no longer favorable to me