Venting I feel like an idiot for not ordering N

[mind3de]

Last year I really thought about getting N from D. I even contacted D.
But I was not sure about CTB so I didn't finish the order.
Now I feel like such an idiot, because N will likely never be available again.
I should have just ordered it... I had the money and I could have N now.
I'm scared of other methods. They seem to be not so peaceful like N...

 

[Yuna is My Waifu]

I wish i knew about this website before the fed's cracked down hard on it. A this stage it's looking like jumping, drowning or Exit Bag.

 

[King Ashoka]

I got SN delivered before an online shopping website removed it from my country. Before i got it, i always thought i am ready. But i realized now i am still stuck undecided. I have SN in my hand but don't have the courage. Waiting for my life to get even more painful.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so cruel and horrible how N isn't always avaliable and is instead a privilege reserved for animals. It disgusts me how humans want to make suicide as inaccessible as possible, if the option of N is there it really would be such a relief and it would prevent so much suffering.