Story I feel less and less empathetic the longer I am depressed

[KillingPain267]

Don't get me wrong, I still know empathy cognitively and act as empathetic as I can. But it's just the feeling is dulled and I feel more and more indifferent to injustice and cruelty when I see it. I used to be disturbed for days if I accidentally stumbled upon gore videos; now it doesn't phaze me anymore at all. I guess being depressed is causing brain damage somehow (I feel like I am degenerating into becoming less human). But it helps me feel more and more indifferent to the reaction my family will have when I ctb one day.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I like to think my depression and the fact that I don't care anymore will help me overcome my anxiety/introversion, but for the most part it just makes me tired.

 

[KillingPain267]

I like to think my depression and the fact that I don't care anymore will help me overcome my anxiety/introversion, but for the most part it just makes me tired.

Yeah, it doesn't help me overcome my social anxiety. Instead I would rather avoid people entirely now, whereas before I developed depression I had at least energy to TRY being social.

 

[lamargue]

Don't get me wrong, I still know empathy cognitively and act as empathetic as I can. But it's just the feeling is dulled and I feel more and more indifferent to injustice and cruelty when I see it. I used to be disturbed for days if I accidentally stumbled upon gore videos; now it doesn't phaze me anymore at all. I guess being depressed is causing brain damage somehow (I feel like I am degenerating into becoming less human). But it helps me feel more and more indifferent to the reaction my family will have when I ctb one day.

could not have put it better. i am the exact same

 

[rih]

I feel they go hand in hand, trying so hard to be 'normal' in public or taking antidepressants or SH'ing all give me the effect of being dull, a friend lost someone close irl recently and it just stressed me out cause I could understand and offer condolences but I was so plain. Which stressed me out a loooot.

I feel i'm then like overexpressive or super swingy when watching a dumb show and something sad happens i feel on the verge of tears. I think it's just a trained habit; nothing in nothing out. Not sure how good that is though

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's a bit like being a sponge in a way. It gets to the point where we're just so saturated with worry and sadness, there isn't room for anymore.

Someone quoted that phrase the other day- paraphrasing here... 'You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain'. Again, I wouldn't say I've become that bad either but I'm far more sefish, closed off and less loving than I used to be. I can't say I entirely like who I've become. I probably had the potential to be much nicer. Much more giving. Still, I don't exactly hate myself for it either. Perhaps it's just making excuses but I can see why I've turned out like this. I think in many cases, it's actually to defend ourselves. Being too open and forming attachments, you just get hurt.

 

[KillingPain267]

I think it's a bit like being a sponge in a way. It gets to the point where we're just so saturated with worry and sadness, there isn't room for anymore.

This! You said it better than I could. I don't feel like becoming a bad person, but it's more about being too exhausted with own pain to handle the pain of others.