massiveviolin1234
!!
- Jan 17, 2024
- 2
I feel like I'm a transparent human being. I feel as though people walk through me like I'm not even there. Even though people care about me I can't feel as they do. It feels all forced to be around me. No one would ever care about me because I can't even care about myself. No matter what I do or how hard I try to look for attention and get it, it doesn't feel like enough. Nothing feels like enough at this point I want more and more attention I'm too greedy with it and I feel like people are going to hate me because of it. I already feel myself drifting away from my friends again because I feel like I don't get enough attention even though they give me it every single day. I leave calls randomly even if they make time for me and I feel like such an asshole cause they stop doing whatever they were doing just to hang out with me but then I leave like what kind of person am I? I'm such a low-selfish human being who has no empathy for these people. I don't even treat them like they're real. They're probably complaining about how I just randomly left right now. I'm sorry friends but I can't deal with yall at thall moment. I'm too busy thinking about how I felt invisible the entire time I was there. I can't communicate these feelings with them tho because I know they're also going through shit and I'd just add more to their problems. I want to apologize but right now I'm shaking like a leaf and I don't know what to do. I can't live up to my own mistakes. I feel very invisible here, maybe all I want is more attention? I don't even know myself and it's killing me.
