I feel I have more conservative views than liberal, and that’s scares me

[Water-Lily]

Some of my closest friends are liberal. And though I still identify as one, I feel some stances I have are conservative

I won't say out of fear of judgement, though since taking a Policy class in school, I've been thinking about my stance in politics

I wonder if this could be due to the trauma I experienced at home. Either way, I feel like a bad person and I feel like distancing from my friends who I know would judge me

 

[R_N]

Both sides can be pretty unbearable and hostile imo. That is what happens when you identify yourself as "something".

Being conservative doesn't make you worse than liberals just different. This forum is probably more liberal because of conservative stances on suicide and such but I don't label myself as either.

I do tend to agree more with conservatives than liberals tho but I don't feel anything about it. I can be whatever i want to and I won't feel bad about my perspective on things.

Just be yourself and don't judge yourself too harshly. I have a friend with whom I disagree on a lot of things but we can tell each other anything and still be fine with our differences. If someone is worth it they will stick by you no matter what.

 

[derpyderpins]

Some of my closest friends are liberal. And though I still identify as one, I feel some stances I have are conservative

I won't say out of fear of judgement, though since taking a Policy class in school, I've been thinking about my stance in politics

I wonder if this could be due to the trauma I experienced at home. Either way, I feel like a bad person and I feel like distancing from my friends who I know would judge me

Don't worry about what political parties think, what online hiveminds think, or especially what the media tells you. It's pretty nuts how rapidly people in a hivemind can completely flip their beliefs. When I was in college ~10-15 years ago, everyone was "liberal" - as college kids tend to be - but their values were so much different than what mainstream "liberals" think now. And "conservatives" are often anything but that, preaching war and more control over everything.

You be you. Find your values and stick to them, but on individual issues let yourself be a free thinker, and don't fall for groupthink. Labels are worthless and most people who really take time to think about the issues won't align completely with any political party because - spoiler - no modern political party cares about anything but their own power.

*edit: Also, your trauma and experiences are powerful. Empathy is the true way for humanity to survive, and it is so important in a time when we get so cut off from each other. If your empathy is guiding you, DO NOT think that is a bad thing.

 

[puella]

I'm a leftist. But I would never judge someone or call them a bad person for being conservative. Sometimes right-wing people are transphobic to me, and it feels more dejecting than anything else. But I always assume the world has been unkind to those who would hurt me.

I think it's still best not to talk about politics with friends though.

 

[Water-Lily]

I'm a leftist. But I would never judge someone or call them a bad person for being conservative. Sometimes right-wing people are transphobic to me, and it feels more dejecting than anything else. But I always assume the world has been unkind to those who would hurt me.

I think it's still best not to talk about politics with friends though.

I def don't like the blatant homophobia/anti LGBT comments most conservatives have. One take I've seen frequently is a person stating their pronouns or expressing their feelings get labeled as dramatic, sensitive, and especially narcissistic

Having boundaries is healthy and calling it narcissism is a disrespect to those experiencing narcissistic abuse.

I also find it bizarre when conservatives act like learning pronouns is some huge hurdle. It's called empathy

 

[derpyderpins]

I def don't like the blatant homophobia/anti LGBT comments most conservatives have. One take I've seen frequently is a person stating their pronouns or expressing their feelings get labeled as dramatic, sensitive, and especially narcissistic

Having boundaries is healthy and calling it narcissism is a disrespect to those experiencing narcissistic abuse.

I also find it bizarre when conservatives act like learning pronouns is some huge hurdle. It's called empathy

I think that trans issues are a lot like the abortion issue where people talk past each other and then become angry they aren't being heard.

For abortion: the real question is "when does life start?" yet all we hear is "you hate women and want to control them!!!" "You are a baby killerr!!!" when really the disagreement is about the question of life. Very very few people actually want to kill babies and very very few people hate women and want to take their rights away, the disagreement is about when a new homo sapien starts to be what we recognize as its own person. Most of the world has stuck it between 10-14 weeks of pregnancy, realizing there's no perfect answer, but in the US we've gotten so far at each other's throats it's become "conception" or "once the cord is cut" for many people. They want to argue past the premise and assume they have already been proven right: "I'm correct that a fetus is completely not a person, therefore if you are anti-abortion you hate women and want to control their bodies;" "I'm correct that as soon as conception starts that is life that is the equivalent of a two year old, therefore if you are pro abortion you like killing babies." They don't want to have the tough talk, so they don't, they just hate and blame.

Similarly, on trans, the issue is the premise. Conservatives get upset about learning pronouns not because they can't or because it's difficult, it's because in their mind doing so is making them accept a premise they don't agree with. To them, if someone is starting a conversation with "my pronouns are X/Y," with the assumption that the other person will use said pronouns, then the conversation is basically beginning with them being demanded to accept a premise they don't agree with regarding gender. If conservatives who think this way introduced themselves by saying "My name's bob and I was born with a penis so you know my pronouns," I feel like that would not go over well with liberals, but I think it's important to realize that - right or wrong - it would not go over well because it is initiating a conversation by requiring acceptance of their beliefs.

I guess all I'm saying is try to understand why people feel frustration and know it isn't always hate, bigotry, and prejudice.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I also find it bizarre when conservatives act like learning pronouns is some huge hurdle. It's called empathy

While I tend to think I'm slightly conservative, some people have said that I'm a raging leftist, others an alt-right troll, while many more say that I'm "obviously" a centrist, probably because I don't think along party lines so I adopt lots of viewpoints. I had trouble with pronouns when I was a teenager due to a lack of awareness. It was an entirely new concept that I wasn't able to understand but went along with it anyway because it didn't affect me in any way. Then I eventually met a transgender person and they were able to give me a much deeper understanding of the topic. I kept messing up their pronouns since it was really hard for me to call someone who seemed very masculine a woman, but they were very patient with me and it helped a lot. So really, I think it boils down to ignorance, and I don't think them being ignorant is a bad thing so long as they're not causing harm to others, as well as a lack of exposure.

I def don't like the blatant homophobia/anti LGBT comments most conservatives have.

I've strangely had the opposite experience. My father who was a staunch conservative taught me tolerance towards them, while my mother, the complete opposite, used to feel utter hatred for LGBTs until a couple of years ago. I also went to school in a place where most students were conservative, and only a very small minority were homophobic. I don't know if it's the internet, or the desire to fit in with groups, or maybe it's a lack of exposure as I said before, but approaching a group with the mindset of "most are like this" is going to make you pick out the negatives you want to see. I used to do it with transgender people. I used to think that they were whiny and insane based on a couple of Twitter posts. Then I met one, then I met another one, and my viewpoint completely changed.

Edit: For a bit more clarification, I was a teenager which is when I met my transgender friends, and back then I was extremely conservative (not the religious kind, the kind where I'd blindly nod my head to whatever talking points they had no matter how hypocritical). They themselves didn't change my viewpoint on conservatism, but they did change my viewpoint about transgender issues. I never was someone who would just hate people for the sake of it though, so maybe I'm more open-minded or something I don't know. I think I just got older and more mature. I'm not really sure where I'm trying to go with this edit and maybe I'm being an idiot but I guess what I'm trying to get to is that if you approach someone with an open mind and don't try to wait for the "Gotcha!" moment where you can own them, then they hopefully will be the same to you. Or you can always just not have to do with them at all which takes a lot less effort and saves on the potential for future drama.

 

[obligatoryshackles]

I guess it's hard to judge without knowing exactly on what stuff you tend to lean conservative? There's plenty of stuff beyond the hot button issues that everyone constantly talks about where the liberal/conservative split is a lot less morally contentious.

It doesn't help that the group of all liberal beliefs and the group of all conservative beliefs both have internal inconsistencies, if you define them by what is publicly accepted they contain.

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

As a person you have full right to come to your own understanding of things. If you feel that the political duopoly is constrictive for you, I would suggest spending some time with other realms of thought to develop more nuance in your chosen stance.

I'm personally really fond of philosophy. It has been more influential for my worldview than politics. It's helped me to break out of the constrictive realm of politics.

I think the lense of seeing issues in a dichotomy of liberal / conservative is artificially imposed and led largely by electoral politics. This adds to the team sport vibe of it - "you're either with us or against us" - and culture war stuff.

That said, I acknowledge the social aspect of your concern. If you feel your friends are more liberal than you, there may be a fear of outing yourself as not agreeing. The fear of possible rejection or judgement is real and understandable.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I'm personally really fond of philosophy. It has been more influential for my worldview than politics. It's helped me to break out of the constrictive realm of politics.

This. I took a philosophy class in college and thought it was going to be super boring but it was actually pretty interesting and fun. It even taught me how to structure my thoughts and communicate my ideas better. The best part is that when you're giving a philosophical view you'll have critics, but it's in a sort of intellectual sense. They're not trying to feel superior to you, they're trying to understand you and have you critique their views so that both of you can come to a better conclusion.

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

Sidebar fun fact:
Do you know the origin of the terms "right" and "left" in politics? It comes from the French Revolution in 1789. It has to do how participants of the National Assembly were separated. To the left of the president were the supporters of the revolution and to the right were the supporters of the previous system.

*insert "the more you know" gif*

 

[takyon]

i relate a lot, and i dont want to be judged for it so i just stay out of politics completely. i used to be so argumentative, constantly trying to prove my point to anyone who'd listen but now idgaf. its all about perspective, people think opposing views are wrong, but really they're just different.