Venting I feel horribly guilty and ashamed when on my period

[grass]

I know this is an awful thing to think because menstruation is a natural process that many people go through and it can't be helped but I just feel so awful about it. Like I feel like I'm making excuses when I say I need to rest because it hurts so much and I feel useless because I'm just lying around. It even makes me guilty to sit down somewhere because I feel like I'll make it unclean somehow. I guess it's because growing up I would hear that periods are gross and shouldn't even be talked about and even though I disagree with that, I can't help but feel disgusting when I have it. I wish I could just take my uterus out to stop it all, especially the pain. But then my family would hate me for removing my ability to have children. I hate it so much that they act like my only purpose as a woman is to have children but then the things that allow me to have children in the first place, I should be ashamed of. I'm so done. I wish I could sleep forever.