I feel happier now the decision is made

[Givingupandgivingin]

It's like a weight has lifted. Only another few weeks left and then this is over, which means right now nothing matters does it?
I'm getting my children through Christmas and then after new year I'm going to be gone. This is the last year of all this crappy Christmas stuff.
I don't want a funeral. Is that possible? I just want to be gone and the world to close up like I was never here. That happens really really fast in my opinion anyway. Life goes on. People get on with it. Very soon it's like you never existed.
I can't wait.
I'm going to say I'm going to work. Call in sick. Park up in a quiet area. Take a load of sleeping tablets and a load of insulin. The best success rates relate to no intervention - so I need to make sure no one finds me for several hours. If I go for it at 8.30am and no one looks for me until 4pm that's a decent amount of time.
I'm prepared for it to take a lot of insulin. I am only tiny though and my usual dose is extremely small. I think if no one intervenes it will be unsurvivable. God, I hope so.

 

[fruitbats]

You're so strong for getting your kids through Christmas first and giving them those good last memories. I've been struggling with trying to give my family the same. If you've got a significant other or a close sibling or family member maybe you could let them kno (in a way they'd find long after you passed) that you don't want a funeral, you could even site environmental concerns abt being embalmed or something. I hope I can find that peace your talking abt before I go too, I wish you only positive vibes for your days

 

[Raminiki]

You must have great reserves of strength to get through Christmas. I'm not sure I can get that far, it's just too hard to smile and pretend to be happy. I admire your courage.

 

[Givingupandgivingin]

My daughter is 5 right on top of Christmas and she's so excited.
I think it'll only take a couple of weeks for things to go back to normal after I'm gone but I don't know if Christmas would if I went just before it.
I feel better able to get through it knowing it doesn't matter.
I'm done. I'm not sad about it. I'm detached from it. I'm just done.
I will leave a letter expressing my wishes re the funeral. I'd sooner no one spent the money and my children had it really. Even a cheap funeral is expensive and I've nothing to leave to cover it. My husband has all the money. I suppose they could sell my car but that only a few thousand pounds and I don't know how quickly they'd sell it.