Venting I feel "expired"

[ilovecats]

I feel like I'm supposed to be dead and that I don't have to keep living. It feels like my life is a dream meant to be ended and everything I live now is in excess. I kept repeating to myself that living a happy life is better than not existing but said it so many times it lost "meaning" to me. I tried to see the good part of this world but it all goes in circles and I still end up miserable. I can see nothing good about this world. We are not meant to be happy, but to be "useful". We are a resource to society, nothing more. Even if I try to live for myself, I still die. It would be like I never existed, not only to the universe, but to me as well. I would be erased from my reality, from myself, like I never knew I existed. So what am I living for? It feels like all of this is pointless. Why suffer? Why be happy? But I'm still here, living and afraid of a painful end, chained by human nature. Maybe if I broke free from it, I would be doing what I truthly want and end all of this the moment I have the chance.

 

[Gaga786]

I'm so sorry to see you suffering so much. I truly do understand the pain you are in, and I hope your situation ameliorates. No one deserves to endure what you are going through. This life can be certainly very cruel as there is no option for a peaceful exit. Sometimes, I feel like a non playable character in my life. You have described the same situation I am in. Take care, and I wish you the best

 

[AlternativeHealer2]

Its a cruel fucking joke

 

[outrider567]

I feel I should be dead too-- Mentally already dead for 14 months now--Tried listening to music again just now but just started crying again, its just so hopeless and pathetic to try to keep going after her death

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I certainly know that I've existed for far too long. Of course it's true that humans exist to be slaves to the society and that's a reason as to why suicide method options are so unfairly restricted from us. It's undeniably such a cruel world that we exist in where there is no real relief from suffering.