Story I feel a bit better, but am still suicidal

[KillingPain267]

I cry less, worry a bit less, sleep better and halfway enjoy food and watching movies... but, I still think and plan to ctb within about half a year or so. Like, the idea has been branded into my mind with a hot iron, because my life still seems meaningless and I can't imagine continuing like this the next 50 some odd years.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

Same, I don't cry, I sleep in everyday, watch shows, and wait for the right time to kill myself. My life is pretty meaningless and there's nothing I can do about it, because nothing works out for me. I'm unhappy with life so I just might as well not exist where these feelings won't exist either.

 

[KillingPain267]

Same, I don't cry, I sleep in everyday, watch shows, and wait for the right time to kill myself. My life is pretty meaningless and there's nothing I can do about it, because nothing works out for me. I'm unhappy with life so I just might as well not exist where these feelings won't exist either.

I've even gotten some new meds that I feel like are working. Yet, it's still etched in my mind that everything is meaningless and I can't wait for it all to end, and that I refuse to be in this for 50 more years when I will die by that time anyway. Even if I find joy in a few things, ctb is still in my mind. This is why I scoff at the pro-life phrase "just get a hobby bro". Sure, bro.. but I'll die eventually anyway while doing that "hobby".