I failed

[lifecouldbedream]

I made a post last night saying that I was going to CTB then. I ended up just staring at the bag of materials I had all night. I haven't slept even now but I plan on setting up the materials and actually trying. I suppose making a note could help me come to terms with it but I don't know what to write. I don't want my family to feel like they were at fault but honestly... they were. And I only feel guilty about harboring such feelings towards them because deep down I know they love me but nobody truly put any effort into caring.

 

[FuneralCry]

In regards to a note, I would say how I truly feel and I would write what is on my mind. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[fox_wannabe]

It is ok. I am not good in feelings and cannot give any advice.
I was thinking about ctbing today and yesterday but I won't do it.
Also I did mushrooms too and they are awesome. Well life still sucks.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

It is ok. I am not good in feelings and cannot give any advice.
I was thinking about ctbing today and yesterday but I won't do it.
Also I did mushrooms too and they are awesome. Well life still sucks.

Keep at the mushrooms. They take time and they effects are usually temporary unless you keep at it.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Keep at the mushrooms. They take time and they effects are usually temporary unless you keep at it.

I begun to go psychotic and I do not have any of them now with me. I will just die and I am ok with It.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

I begun to go psychotic and I do not have any of them now with me. I will just die and I am ok with It.

That is the unfortunate downside of them. They are incompatible with some people. However microdosing instead of tripping may work for you, although you may have already tried this. Good luck, I hope you find peace either way.

 

[fox_wannabe]

That is the unfortunate downside of them. They are incompatible with some people. However microdosing instead of tripping may work for you, although you may have already tried this. Good luck, I hope you find peace either way.

Thanks, I was hoping to ctb today in a forest but It is too late. I will try to do It tomorrow.

 

[callme]

So you didn't fail, because you didn't try.

 

[fox_wannabe]

So you didn't fail, because you didn't try.

Yeah
It is not a "failure". I do not think such simple terms can describe suicide attempt. It is not like you can fail or succeed at ending your life. It just happens or not.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

So you didn't fail, because you didn't try.

Yeah
It is not a "failure". I do not think such simple terms can describe suicide attempt. It is not like you can fail or succeed at ending your life. It just happens or not.

I suppose it is a failure in the sense that I failed to achieve a goal I set for myself.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Can you try again?

It is kinda weird question tbh

 

[lifecouldbedream]

Can you try again?

I will

 

[callme]

I will

Not necessarily.. why not give it a rest for some days if the possibility is still there..

 

[fox_wannabe]

I will

please do not take his question as encouragement to ctb.

 

[lifecouldbedream]

please do not take his question as encouragement to ctb.

I didn't, I planned to try again regardless.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I didn't, I planned to try again regardless.

Do you want to tell us why you want to ctb?
you mind?
Also did mushrooms change your perspective on death?

 

[lifecouldbedream]

Do you want to tell us why you want to ctb?
you mind?
Also did mushrooms change your perspective on death?

They did. I personally believe when I die I will be met with something new. They helped with my depression as well, I would say temporarily cured it, but unfortunately I am CTBing not mainly because of depression but because of life circumstances. I stopped trying to improve my mental health and sank into it.