Story I dunno if I can do this.

[Tristan]

Hello, this is my first thread here. I'm a young guy that suffers from depression. I have horrible parents who don't believe I'm depressed despite the fact, I have tried suicide multiple times. When I lost my job, I moved back to my parents house, where my 89 year old nana lives also. My nana despite her age has more energy than me, very positive, and we created a strong bond. By living together the 4 of us I realised that my mum, verbally abuses my nana at a daily basis. This has been going on for 3 years, the past 6 months, things became unbearable with my mum constantly fighting with my nana ( her mother in law) . My dad a well seen Christian by its church wasn't telling my mum something like, hey chill, she's my mum pays half of our rent and she's elderly. So my mum went on a full attack on my father , always fighting with him for always defending his own mum. Cutting the story short, my nana finally said, I had enough of being treated like this. The constant picking and shouting of my mum at everything she does, example, even my nana's breathing annoys my mum. So she asked me, grandson please help me get a small flat so I can get away from them. Help me. I'm not religious or anything like that, but 3 days later I saw a two bedroom flat available for rent, I told my nana the price and she said yes I will take it.
when I gave these news to my own parents, they both became enraged, they never expected a nearly 90 year old woman, strong enough to start a new life. My tried non stop for her to change her mind and stay and just basically suck it up. My nana stood her ground, and said no, I'm moving, you are all mean to me, except my grandson, me! So both my parents said if you help your nana move, you can forget about us, and so it went. We went ahead with the leasing, constantly shouting and arguments at home, I can't take this anymore. The lease has been signed, electrical, water and internet ( my only request to live with my nana) was taken care of. We are moving this week. My mum blocked her own son, on Facebook and WhatsApp, and my dad stopped giving me my allowance to buy my meds for my depression. But I am so scared, it will be just me and my nana, an 89 year old lady on a 2 bedroom flat. She has perfect health, more energy than me, always with a broom in hand. Likes to go for coffee with me after lunch in her car, that I now drive, cause she can't drive anymore due to having issues in manual gear.
But I am so afraid, I'm mourning the loss of my parents and they are alive. The constant attempts to me to have a relationship parents and son is lost for ever. I hope I have the strength to take care of an elderly lady, well, she will take more care of me to be honest as she is fully independent to do all her chores. I can't believe my dad, preaching in church, and treating his own mother and son like this. They don't ship any food for us, we have to take care of our own. This is laughable in a way. And what worries me the most is I dunno if my nana willl be able to help me financially with my medication I need to buy. Guess I have to wait and see. Guys please wish me luck. And I do hope my nana still has a lot of years to live. Or I will be homeless and living in the streets. If you read this far thank you for "listening". And any advice is welcome.

 

[Zegers]

Take it easy and look for a job while you're there so you can keep paying the rent in case something happens. Look at it from another point of view, your nana has helped you move out because that house seems quite toxic to get better of a depression.

 

[Tristan]

Take it easy and look for a job while you're there so you can keep paying the rent in case something happens. Look at it from another point of view, your nana has helped you move out because that house seems quite toxic to get better of a depression.

Thank you, it feels more nuclear than toxic in this household. I will def look for a job, even if it's at a petrol station. But I will worry all day if she is ok, cause the new flat has no stairs and she trips and had fallen in the past and broke 4 ribs. Teaching her always to switch the stairs lights and hold on to the hand rail. Thank you for your advice. May life bless you.

 

[Tristan]

Not that no one seems to mind about my post, but me and my nana are finally living together, oh boy its been hard, I have to cook for her, constantly tell her how to use simple things like the remote control of the TV and cable. She gets snappy at me sometimes and we argue, cause I'm really trying my best to make her feel happy. But nothing seems to be enough. I snap back sometimes, and mentioned, my parents deserted me for helping you, so just give me a little respect at least for that. I carry heavy groceries all by myself. I'm like a live in nurse with no pay. I don't regret my decision, yet, but each day has been let's say….a challenge. I have to find the strength in me , a strength that I don't have. This week I'm looking for a job. We need our time apart, and my nana needs to learn by herself what I taught her timeless times. Sorry for the vent. Sigh *

 

[freedompass]

Hello, this is my first thread here. I'm a young guy that suffers from depression. I have horrible parents who don't believe I'm depressed despite the fact, I have tried suicide multiple times. When I lost my job, I moved back to my parents house, where my 89 year old nana lives also. My nana despite her age has more energy than me, very positive, and we created a strong bond. By living together the 4 of us I realised that my mum, verbally abuses my nana at a daily basis. This has been going on for 3 years, the past 6 months, things became unbearable with my mum constantly fighting with my nana ( her mother in law) . My dad a well seen Christian by its church wasn't telling my mum something like, hey chill, she's my mum pays half of our rent and she's elderly. So my mum went on a full attack on my father , always fighting with him for always defending his own mum. Cutting the story short, my nana finally said, I had enough of being treated like this. The constant picking and shouting of my mum at everything she does, example, even my nana's breathing annoys my mum. So she asked me, grandson please help me get a small flat so I can get away from them. Help me. I'm not religious or anything like that, but 3 days later I saw a two bedroom flat available for rent, I told my nana the price and she said yes I will take it.
when I gave these news to my own parents, they both became enraged, they never expected a nearly 90 year old woman, strong enough to start a new life. My tried non stop for her to change her mind and stay and just basically suck it up. My nana stood her ground, and said no, I'm moving, you are all mean to me, except my grandson, me! So both my parents said if you help your nana move, you can forget about us, and so it went. We went ahead with the leasing, constantly shouting and arguments at home, I can't take this anymore. The lease has been signed, electrical, water and internet ( my only request to live with my nana) was taken care of. We are moving this week. My mum blocked her own son, on Facebook and WhatsApp, and my dad stopped giving me my allowance to buy my meds for my depression. But I am so scared, it will be just me and my nana, an 89 year old lady on a 2 bedroom flat. She has perfect health, more energy than me, always with a broom in hand. Likes to go for coffee with me after lunch in her car, that I now drive, cause she can't drive anymore due to having issues in manual gear.
But I am so afraid, I'm mourning the loss of my parents and they are alive. The constant attempts to me to have a relationship parents and son is lost for ever. I hope I have the strength to take care of an elderly lady, well, she will take more care of me to be honest as she is fully independent to do all her chores. I can't believe my dad, preaching in church, and treating his own mother and son like this. They don't ship any food for us, we have to take care of our own. This is laughable in a way. And what worries me the most is I dunno if my nana willl be able to help me financially with my medication I need to buy. Guess I have to wait and see. Guys please wish me luck. And I do hope my nana still has a lot of years to live. Or I will be homeless and living in the streets. If you read this far thank you for "listening". And any advice is welcome.

This is so heartbreaking. Bless your lovely nana for having the strength and self respect to vote with her feet. It's adorable that you feel a bond with her. I know exactly what you mean when you say she has more energy than you do! My mum is 90 and totally puts me to shame. Both of your parents sound like a piece of work. You sound like a decent, humble and caring person.

Neither of my parents ever believed in my mental illness either despite seeing me get sectioned to hospital countless times. As a result they pretty much abandoned me to cope alone as best I could. No guidance or protection whatsoever, tho neither ever banned me from their house or anything. It must be a bit daunting being in a position of trying to care for your nana but she will probably tell you what she needs doing with any luck? Willingness is everything.

I hate how hard it is for young people to find their own accommodation these days. It's so close to home for me as my son is 26. He doesn't live with me currently but he's far from independent.

As for your parents, you know, in terms of family relationships things can evolve over time in ways you don't expect. They may be angry now (which I don't understand btw). It doesn't mean they always will be. From what you've said they should frankly be ashamed of themselves. Your dad is a lousy Christian who probably only cares about his standing in the church. Shame on both of them.

 

[makethepainstop]

Not that no one seems to mind about my post, but me and my nana are finally living together, oh boy its been hard, I have to cook for her, constantly tell her how to use simple things like the remote control of the TV and cable. She gets snappy at me sometimes and we argue, cause I'm really trying my best to make her feel happy. But nothing seems to be enough. I snap back sometimes, and mentioned, my parents deserted me for helping you, so just give me a little respect at least for that. I carry heavy groceries all by myself. I'm like a live in nurse with no pay. I don't regret my decision, yet, but each day has been let's say….a challenge. I have to find the strength in me , a strength that I don't have. This week I'm looking for a job. We need our time apart, and my nana needs to learn by herself what I taught her timeless times. Sorry for the vent. Sigh *

Sometimes a person's family can be more problematic than an enemy! Much Love to you, you sure deserve it.

 

[Iamchickenhat]

I just saw this and I am deeply sorry for your awful troubles. I hope you find the job you need to get away from Nana for a little while. Sounds as though she needs some along time to better appreciate your efforts.

 

[freedompass]

Not that no one seems to mind about my post, but me and my nana are finally living together, oh boy its been hard, I have to cook for her, constantly tell her how to use simple things like the remote control of the TV and cable. She gets snappy at me sometimes and we argue, cause I'm really trying my best to make her feel happy. But nothing seems to be enough. I snap back sometimes, and mentioned, my parents deserted me for helping you, so just give me a little respect at least for that. I carry heavy groceries all by myself. I'm like a live in nurse with no pay. I don't regret my decision, yet, but each day has been let's say….a challenge. I have to find the strength in me , a strength that I don't have. This week I'm looking for a job. We need our time apart, and my nana needs to learn by herself what I taught her timeless times. Sorry for the vent. Sigh *

Sounds like you're on a steep learning curve. I hope the 2 of you can work it out. I get it, I spent a lot of time around my 90 year old mum over the summer and it wasn't smooth sailing. She can't seem to absorb what seems like simple information. Honestly I chose to stay in hotels and Airbnb's even tho she has a guest room.

Vent away anytime you like. Being a carer is notoriously draining! It's not as if you don't have issues of your own and your parents seeming to disown you doesn't help at all. Getting a job would definitely be a good move. I wish you luck with that. There are support groups specifically for carers. It takes a lot out of you and you need to have a safe and accepting place to go with those emotions. Once you have an income maybe you could consider some form of therapy?

 

[Tristan]

Sounds like you're on a steep learning curve. I hope the 2 of you can work it out. I get it, I spent a lot of time around my 90 year old mum over the summer and it wasn't smooth sailing. She can't seem to absorb what seems like simple information. Honestly I chose to stay in hotels and Airbnb's even tho she has a guest room.

Vent away anytime you like. Being a carer is notoriously draining! It's not as if you don't have issues of your own and your parents seeming to disown you doesn't help at all. Getting a job would definitely be a good move. I wish you luck with that. There are support groups specifically for carers. It takes a lot out of you and you need to have a safe and accepting place to go with those emotions. Once you have an income maybe you could consider some form of therapy?

You took the words right of my mouth, that's exactly how she us, she doesnt absorb simple information, like the remote control, I taught her timeless ways to do it, she still comes to my room and blames the TV. I'm locking my room now with a key, as she used to come over while I was half asleep and just stare at me. I know she loves me but I'm not a baby. I could be with my parents, I chose to be with her, cause they wanted to put her in a elderly home to die. And I said no way. She is way too healthy to go there. So my parents deserted me, just like that. Like you not with us on this one then forget about us. But there's a thing called karma and I believe I'm it. They even stopped my monthly allowance, so in a few days I will run out of meds. And I won't ask my nana cause her pension is so low. I just can't…. Thank you for sharing your story with me. All the best.

 

[Hollowillow]

Hello, this is my first thread here. I'm a young guy that suffers from depression. I have horrible parents who don't believe I'm depressed despite the fact, I have tried suicide multiple times. When I lost my job, I moved back to my parents house, where my 89 year old nana lives also. My nana despite her age has more energy than me, very positive, and we created a strong bond. By living together the 4 of us I realised that my mum, verbally abuses my nana at a daily basis. This has been going on for 3 years, the past 6 months, things became unbearable with my mum constantly fighting with my nana ( her mother in law) . My dad a well seen Christian by its church wasn't telling my mum something like, hey chill, she's my mum pays half of our rent and she's elderly. So my mum went on a full attack on my father , always fighting with him for always defending his own mum. Cutting the story short, my nana finally said, I had enough of being treated like this. The constant picking and shouting of my mum at everything she does, example, even my nana's breathing annoys my mum. So she asked me, grandson please help me get a small flat so I can get away from them. Help me. I'm not religious or anything like that, but 3 days later I saw a two bedroom flat available for rent, I told my nana the price and she said yes I will take it.
when I gave these news to my own parents, they both became enraged, they never expected a nearly 90 year old woman, strong enough to start a new life. My tried non stop for her to change her mind and stay and just basically suck it up. My nana stood her ground, and said no, I'm moving, you are all mean to me, except my grandson, me! So both my parents said if you help your nana move, you can forget about us, and so it went. We went ahead with the leasing, constantly shouting and arguments at home, I can't take this anymore. The lease has been signed, electrical, water and internet ( my only request to live with my nana) was taken care of. We are moving this week. My mum blocked her own son, on Facebook and WhatsApp, and my dad stopped giving me my allowance to buy my meds for my depression. But I am so scared, it will be just me and my nana, an 89 year old lady on a 2 bedroom flat. She has perfect health, more energy than me, always with a broom in hand. Likes to go for coffee with me after lunch in her car, that I now drive, cause she can't drive anymore due to having issues in manual gear.
But I am so afraid, I'm mourning the loss of my parents and they are alive. The constant attempts to me to have a relationship parents and son is lost for ever. I hope I have the strength to take care of an elderly lady, well, she will take more care of me to be honest as she is fully independent to do all her chores. I can't believe my dad, preaching in church, and treating his own mother and son like this. They don't ship any food for us, we have to take care of our own. This is laughable in a way. And what worries me the most is I dunno if my nana willl be able to help me financially with my medication I need to buy. Guess I have to wait and see. Guys please wish me luck. And I do hope my nana still has a lot of years to live. Or I will be homeless and living in the streets. If you read this far thank you for "listening". And any advice is welcome.

I can't tell you to quit meds because the shock could kill you... But without your parents... I don't think you'll need them anymore.

Maybe get a part time job, something small. My friend delivered papers. Or save money working during summer. Doing 2 jobs and full time school almost killed me, didn't long. So buid back strength with nice meals & hugs & safe sleep. Your parents will either come around or they will destroy each other but you'll no longer be in the cross fire.

Eat veggies & meat and you'll get stronger. I'm sure she'll be fine a long time.

Not that no one seems to mind about my post, but me and my nana are finally living together, oh boy its been hard, I have to cook for her, constantly tell her how to use simple things like the remote control of the TV and cable. She gets snappy at me sometimes and we argue, cause I'm really trying my best to make her feel happy. But nothing seems to be enough. I snap back sometimes, and mentioned, my parents deserted me for helping you, so just give me a little respect at least for that. I carry heavy groceries all by myself. I'm like a live in nurse with no pay. I don't regret my decision, yet, but each day has been let's say….a challenge. I have to find the strength in me , a strength that I don't have. This week I'm looking for a job. We need our time apart, and my nana needs to learn by herself what I taught her timeless times. Sorry for the vent. Sigh *

Tolly for the groceries to preserve strength.

Tape to hide useless buttons on the remote

Snappy is a sign of vitamin b deficiency, dementia too. I take supplements. Both try?