I don’t want to sound desperate but I am struggling to find a girlfriend

[dune7263]

I am 20 year old male who lives in England and while I have mental health issues, I am a decent person overall and a relationship would make life more bearable, I tried talking to this girl but she takes such a long time to respond and because I am isolated at home, I don't see anyone and don't know how to initiate

 

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

Bump.
Don't post about that here.
This place is full of feminists and their misandrist allies of all shades and stripes.

Instead, join **************. Tell them DCC sent you.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I am 20 year old male who lives in England and while I have mental health issues, I am a decent person overall and a relationship would make life more bearable, I tried talking to this girl but she takes such a long time to respond and because I am isolated at home, I don't see anyone and don't know how to initiate

This won't be the greatest advice because I'm no expert, but as long as you go in without the intentions of having a relationship with a girl you let's say just start talking to doesn't have to be this one just any but as hard as it is it'll be a slow start,, finding relationships as an adult is very hard it's just not like "oh I seen you at school and I like you do you like me wanna be my boyfriend" shit ain't like that, somtimes relationships seem futile with so many People seemingly not wanting to connect with one another but that's also just because most people are pretty reserved with who they actually are and who there willing to show, god I'm the worst with giving advice god but you could even find one at your job if you got that, I use to have that aghhh,, but shit is hard and it takes two people to want to connect.. this girl doesn't seem like she's the one from what I'm gathering.

Bump.
Don't post about that here.
This place is full of feminists and their misandrist allies of all shades and stripes.

Instead, join **************. Tell them DCC sent you.

He should be completely able to post about that here. His post is completely fine and if anybody has a problem with it, they're the issue

 

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

He should be completely able to post about that here. His post is completely fine and if anybody has a problem with it, they're the issue

Posts like this often draws the feminists, who resort to their bullying tactics.

 

[bonnieps>]

I am 20 year old male who lives in England and while I have mental health issues, I am a decent person overall and a relationship would make life more bearable, I tried talking to this girl but she takes such a long time to respond and because I am isolated at home, I don't see anyone and don't know how to initiate

as a woman i would say you should clean yourself up real nice and go vibe at any social place like a club or festival and just first start getting used to interacting with women. Once you start to feel more comfortable and confident then i would start approaching people in a romantic way.A simple compliment and asking for their number or social media would be a nice start. Don't beat yourself up if you get turned down, thats just part of the game.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

Posts like this often draws the feminists, who resort to their bullying tactics.

I'm a feminist myself, and what you're describing isn't feminism it's just bullying. People sometimes call them
'radical feminists,'
but real feminism isn't about hostility or silencing others. It's about equality, not aggression, those aren't feminists,
They are douche bag bullies.

 

[Dejected 55]

I'm 55... and I still have the same problem. So I empathize, but I also have no good answers for you.

 

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

I'm a feminist myself, and what you're describing isn't feminism it's just bullying. People sometimes call them
'radical feminists,'
but real feminism isn't about hostility or silencing others. It's about equality, not aggression, those aren't feminists,
They are douche bag bullies.

Tell me, if a woman randomly decides that she feels "uncomfortable" in my presence, despite me having done literally nothing, and she "doesn't know how to explain it", would you say that woman is toxic or not?

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

Tell me, if a woman randomly decides that she feels "uncomfortable" in my presence, despite me having done literally nothing, and she "doesn't know how to explain it", would you say that woman is toxic or not?

Yea bro, that's toxic and just incase that's no feminist even if they try to claim themself as one, I'm sure you got an idea how heavily this world judges others on apperance and even if you fit some generic Beauty standards you'll still come across self loathing fucks who rather throw there own self hate onto others just to reassure there own delusions,, I'm well aware people are cruel,, the gender doesn't define the hate because both hate,, humans hate.. I've had that happen to me, and I think I'm pretty decent looks wise, but I know I can't control how everyone reacts to me,, as unfortunate as it is.

Hey I'm sorry if I come off some way that's not my intention just in case as I re read over my reply I think I come off a little rude and that's really not my intention because cruelty like that isn't okay and neither you nor I or anyone should have to deal with that kinda negative treatment.

 

[alwaysalone]

I am 20 year old male who lives in England and while I have mental health issues, I am a decent person overall and a relationship would make life more bearable, I tried talking to this girl but she takes such a long time to respond and because I am isolated at home, I don't see anyone and don't know how to initiate

I don't know your situation but in general be nice, polite and chivalrous. Maybe she's working or legitimately busy. Just say hey u wanted to say hi etc.. don't over do it though.

 

[FoxSauce]

Bump.
Don't post about that here.
This place is full of feminists and their misandrist allies of all shades and stripes.

Instead, join **************. Tell them DCC sent you.

Wait what?

I am 20 year old male who lives in England and while I have mental health issues, I am a decent person overall and a relationship would make life more bearable, I tried talking to this girl but she takes such a long time to respond and because I am isolated at home, I don't see anyone and don't know how to initiate

Im sure you'll find someone whom loves you for you. Ofc me saying can be like : "sure dude sure." Let's be real moslty people care about looks but its not everybody.

Im really sorry your in that situation. Keep trying. I wish I could give you more advice but I have no experience in that setting.


Hugs to you dude

 

[ylenol]

I am 20 year old male who lives in England and while I have mental health issues, I am a decent person overall and a relationship would make life more bearable, I tried talking to this girl but she takes such a long time to respond and because I am isolated at home, I don't see anyone and don't know how to initiate

just be more handsome, that'll solve 80% of the issue but frankly you shouldn't rely on someone else to make your mental health/life more bearable. no need to burden someone someone else as well

Tell me, if a woman randomly decides that she feels "uncomfortable" in my presence, despite me having done literally nothing, and she "doesn't know how to explain it", would you say that woman is toxic or not?

id say you're ugly or else she wouldn't have said that

 

[bankai]

Dress well. Wear nice shoes, clothes, a decent watch, some Cologne. Be clean.Well groomed.Doesn't have to be expensive. There are a lot of online options, you can search out something nice.

Work on your humor. Be polite. Our looks aren't in our control, but all of these things are. They will help. When I go out to work or anywhere else, I'm a completely different person. At home, I'm quiet and depressed. I'm also depressed when I go out. But I don't let it show Never let people see that in real life. They think something is wrong with you.

One more thing is relationships won't always make you happy. Statistically, they don't. I don't know, you might meet 5 people and it doesn't work out. And then finally you might meet the right one. The wrong ones will make you even more suicidal or depressed.

 

[SuicidalCurryBoy]

Yea bro, that's toxic and just incase that's no feminist even if they try to claim themself as one, I'm sure you got an idea how heavily this world judges others on apperance and even if you fit some generic Beauty standards you'll still come across self loathing fucks who rather throw there own self hate onto others just to reassure there own delusions,, I'm well aware people are cruel,, the gender doesn't define the hate because both hate,, humans hate.. I've had that happen to me, and I think I'm pretty decent looks wise, but I know I can't control how everyone reacts to me,, as unfortunate as it is.

Hey I'm sorry if I come off some way that's not my intention just in case as I re read over my reply I think I come off a little rude and that's really not my intention because cruelty like that isn't okay and neither you nor I or anyone should have to deal with that kinda negative treatment.

Except this happened to me, and ALL the women in my life, and most of the men said I was at fault. And that I was in the wrong for showing everyone the screenshots of the chat.

They said "This isn't toxic, this is just her being mature."

id say you're ugly or else she wouldn't have said that

Exactly!

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

Except this happened to me, and ALL the women in my life, and most of the men said I was at fault. And that I was in the wrong for showing everyone the screenshots of the chat.

They said "This isn't toxic, this is just her being mature."


Exactly!

I don't know what to say, because I have that same issue with men just with no acknowledgement or respect, and being seen as what seems like less than human compared to my male counterparts. Not just a vagina, or a "tool," a "concept," or an "idea."

I'm bolder when I talk online in real life I'm a soft-spoken loser, stuttering almost all the time.
You know what I mean?

Men face that shit too, just in a different way from many toxic women.
Including a plethora of other toxicities men and women both face, just in different ways.

In a way, you're my complete opposite, but also the same.
I don't mean to devalue anything you've gone through, or call it hysterical or imaginary.
I get the shit you're describing way too well just in my own way.

Honestly, I'd ask you the same questions, just about men.
Because really, I do get where you're coming from the way this shit seems to surround you.
I don't have friends, male or female.
Humans are unpredictable and cruel.

And I'm trying not to let hate allow me to dehumanize the same people who always and only dehumanize me.
That anger — I'm sure you have it too, in your own way.
But it's not fair to anyone to hold onto hate like that.

I know this for myself, at least.
That's why, no matter how many times I find myself starting to truly hate, I turn that hate inward instead for the lack of basic respect I feel I'll never earn.
Toxic, yes.
But better than believing all men are cruel.

All those women in your life the ones disregarding you entirely I get it.
Just... differently.

And it's killing me.
I'm just sorry you, too, have to face that disregard so heavily yourself...

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Warning: If someone thinks a relationship will help make their life better in any way, they are simply mistaken. That approach is setting things up for failure and disappointment for both people. It's automatically starting things out hoping to get some personal benefit at the expense of another person. It's (unintentionally) expecting another person to bail out your sinking ship. You need to be satisfied with yourself first, stand on your own feet and need no one, and THEN go into a relationship, expecting to give without getting anything back. If both people do that, great. If not, expect pain and trouble all the way to the end.

 

[Renato]

For people saying that you should not rely on a relationship for your happiness or mental health or validation, you are missing the point: in a sense, relationships are like money because neither of those grants you happiness but on the other hand being completely deprived of them will make your life miserable. Knowing that no matter what you are deeply undesirable as a partner for the sex you are attracted to is probably the biggest single hit your self esteem can take. Telling virgins or involuntary single people to just get over it is a statement that says a lot on the lack of empathy of who gives the advice.

Of course most people loose their virginity during youth so they progress to other challenges and they realize that in life there are a lot of other worthy things to pursue; but the rejects like us don't get the chance, because the guilt and shame of not achieving such a fundamental milestone prevents all the subsequent self realization one should strive for.

 

[Dejected 55]

That's the thing... a relationship in and of itself cannot be the sole thing that makes you happy. Neither can money or a particular job or any of the countless things you can one-off name.

No singular thing can make you happy by itself.

But... one singular missing thing can kill happiness.

Try to live without water... or food... or a home... or money... you can go for a while without any one of all of these things... but the longer you go, even just missing one, and the harder and more miserable your life is. You could be rich, but for some reason deprived of water maybe shipwrecked on an island or something... You could have just enough water or food to eat, but no place to live and you will suffer... you could have bare necessities met but not really have any money to do anything else, and you will suffer. You can have an abundance of all things, but be alone and suffer.

People minimize the importance of something like companionship when they say you should find happiness with yourself first or learn to be alone or that a relationship should be a "bonus" or whatever. If you're a person who has lived a while and done a lot of things and you've mostly been able to do as you wanted in life, but have always been alone... then, yes, missing that relationship does ruin your life. It is also true that if you were in a bad relationship that might be worse. People say that not all relationships are good. True.

But not all food is good. If you are starving and say you need food... no one would say to you "hey, be happy you didn't just eat something poisonous." Because of course no one wants to eat bad food that makes you sick... When we say "we want a relationship" we don't mean perfection, but we do mean a good one. No one craves bad things... and just because bad things are possible doesn't mean you stop wanting something integral to your life that you've never had.

 

[crmrc_in]

You don't need to know how to initiate. Girls or women are not a safe requiring a code. They are people. If you can start a conversation with people, that's how you initiate. If you can't, then you have a problem which however affects any type of human relationship.

I understand you're isolated at home and definitely not a socialite, but is there something you're good at? Something you like, you are interested in, you regularly practice/read/see/visit/play etc.? Then try going to places with people with similar interests/skills/qualities/habits etc. I know, it could be emotionally difficult. You might be afraid. You don't know where to start. And even if you do it, you will not find a girlfriend on day one, but maybe you can have a chat or two with people. That's a good start. And if you can chat with people, then that's how you can initiate.