I don't want to live anymore

[Zeus35]

I've been badly failed by the police. On September 1st two officers came to my home. I was mislead by them into believing I'd receive closure after being racially abused. The female officer actually told me that "I'm here to provide you with some closure so and so has admitted to what they said and couldn't deny it as they saw it on the video your provided us" (I was told to go back to my own country, bear in mind the women involved kicked me near my stomach before I ended up having a miscarriage) the officer told me she'd be referring the lady to a course and I'd get an apology letter from the lady. Only told be told last night (saw the email this morning) that the police would be taking no further action because the lady said she wasn't a racist and was sorry if I interpreted her comment "instead of filming, get back in your own country you silly bitch" hmmmm I wonder how else that comment would be viewed. I'm brown why else would she think I wasn't in my own country when my accent is English? I feel lied to, mislead by the officer and the whole investigation was a shamble. The other officer broke GDPR he told me the new address of one of the neighbours who'd been arrested. He told me the prison they were now going to be living in. I didn't ask. They are corrupt. Basically the female officer came to my home on 1st September under the guise of providing me closure. Personally I've been failed so much throughout my life by professionals, where people have been allowed to harm me (especially my birth family) and no one has ever been punished. I feel so depressed I just don't want to be here anymore. I want to die. I was supposed to be meeting my best friend today but I just don't feel up to it anymore. I got my eyebrows done so I loom pretty ecetera and did a facial only to have a police officer fail me after lieing to me and misleading me in person. I just want to die.

 

[Obliviate]

Omg wait what you were assaulted racially and the police basically did nothing? I am so sorry you went through that, this world is filled with disgusting people

 

[Zeus35]

Omg wait what you were assaulted racially and the police basically did nothing? I am so sorry you went through that, this world is filled with disgusting people

No, she and her partner assaulted me whilst pregnant. They got away with it because there was no cctv. Less than one hour after the police leaving, she was threatening me and being racist. It was all recorded. Yet the police did shit. Yet if I had hit her or said something back I'm sure they would have done something. They are complete bastards here these police in my city are fucking bastards! I'm so angry! I'm so upset! I can't live anymore! It's just the fact I've been failed and lied to aswell as mislead. I don't have to live with being failed. I've been failed my entire life. I can't keep being failed and then having to wake up and put a smile on my face and be strong. I can't keep being strong. I'm so sick and tired of being in positions where people show me why I can't trust them. I feel so old on the inside. I'm so broken and honestly I just want to lay in my bed and die of dehydration and starvation. Not intentional but born out of depression that I never had until I was failed. I hate my birth family, I hate the police in this city and I hate social services in the city I was born and my housing officer is the biggest son of a bitch I know. He's literally one year older than me and so fucking corrupt.
I want to die! I want to die! I want to die! I can't keep fighting against people who fail me! I'm tired! I've been failed since I was a baby. Each time someone gets away with something it shows me I'm a worthless bitch who deserves to go through abd things and it's acceptable it's ok! I deserve everything! I don't want to be here! I can't go through this anymore! I can't be here! I can't do it anymore! No one listens! No one cares about me! No one helps me! I fight every fight alone! Its so draining and time consuming! I can't keep fighting! I was born to suffer! I want to rot in hell for eternity because I'm sure it will never be as paineas my life has always been!

 

[Obliviate]

No, she and her partner assaulted me whilst pregnant. They got away with it because there was no cctv. Less than one hour after the police leaving, she was threatening me and being racist. It was all recorded. Yet the police did shit. Yet if I had hit her or said something back I'm sure they would have done something. They are complete bastards here these police in my city are fucking bastards! I'm so angry! I'm so upset! I can't live anymore! It's just the fact I've been failed and lied to aswell as mislead. I don't have to live with being failed. I've been failed my entire life. I can't keep being failed and then having to wake up and put a smile on my face and be strong. I can't keep being strong. I'm so sick and tired of being in positions where people show me why I can't trust them. I feel so old on the inside. I'm so broken and honestly I just want to lay in my bed and die of dehydration and starvation. Not intentional but born out of depression that I never had until I was failed. I hate my birth family, I hate the police in this city and I hate social services in the city I was born and my housing officer is the biggest son of a bitch I know. He's literally one year older than me and so fucking corrupt.
I want to die! I want to die! I want to die! I can't keep fighting against people who fail me! I'm tired! I've been failed since I was a baby. Each time someone gets away with something it shows me I'm a worthless bitch who deserves to go through abd things and it's acceptable it's ok! I deserve everything! I don't want to be here! I can't go through this anymore! I can't be here! I can't do it anymore! No one listens! No one cares about me! No one helps me! I fight every fight alone! Its so draining and time consuming! I can't keep fighting! I was born to suffer! I want to rot in hell for eternity because I'm sure it will never be as paineas my life has always been!

I'm so sorry sweetie. I feel the same exact way of being absolutely hopeless where people keep treating me like i'm a worthless piece of shit. I have literally no on who has ever cared for me and loved except my sweet innocent cats. I really do want every good suffering person to cross over peacefully. We deserve everything and more but this treacherous of a world repeatedly fails us. We're all so broken and numb inside. I'd suggest looking to peaceful CTB methods if you can.

 

[Pluto]

It sucks but so many of us will relate. There are so many systems that fail us to the extent of ruin. Parenting, education, health 'care', law... the list goes on.

I sometimes have a mindset of wanting to not let myself get destroyed by these assholes, but other times I feel like I actually do want to get the whole destruction thing over with.

Sending you hugs!

 

[Hollowillow]

I've been badly failed by the police. On September 1st two officers came to my home. I was mislead by them into believing I'd receive closure after being racially abused. The female officer actually told me that "I'm here to provide you with some closure so and so has admitted to what they said and couldn't deny it as they saw it on the video your provided us" (I was told to go back to my own country, bear in mind the women involved kicked me near my stomach before I ended up having a miscarriage) the officer told me she'd be referring the lady to a course and I'd get an apology letter from the lady. Only told be told last night (saw the email this morning) that the police would be taking no further action because the lady said she wasn't a racist and was sorry if I interpreted her comment "instead of filming, get back in your own country you silly bitch" hmmmm I wonder how else that comment would be viewed. I'm brown why else would she think I wasn't in my own country when my accent is English? I feel lied to, mislead by the officer and the whole investigation was a shamble. The other officer broke GDPR he told me the new address of one of the neighbours who'd been arrested. He told me the prison they were now going to be living in. I didn't ask. They are corrupt. Basically the female officer came to my home on 1st September under the guise of providing me closure. Personally I've been failed so much throughout my life by professionals, where people have been allowed to harm me (especially my birth family) and no one has ever been punished. I feel so depressed I just don't want to be here anymore. I want to die. I was supposed to be meeting my best friend today but I just don't feel up to it anymore. I got my eyebrows done so I loom pretty ecetera and did a facial only to have a police officer fail me after lieing to me and misleading me in person. I just want to die.

They murdered your unborn child, this is a hate crime. Where are the damn pro lifers when you need them. Did you say you want to sue because no apology can give you back your baby? Fucking racists. I'm sure everyone has evil thoughts but acting on them makes THEM the assholes unworthy to live. Cops told me I deserved the unprovoked assault & treatened to arest me. I said go ahead if that's what it will take to show my proofs to a judge. The cop was surprised speechless. I do not submit to terror anymore I'd rather fucking die.

Take time to pamper yourself... To heal. I'd suggest a hot bath & a toaster but I don't think that works with the breaker safety... Damn.

It sucks but so many of us will relate. There are so many systems that fail us to the extent of ruin. Parenting, education, health 'care', law... the list goes on.

I sometimes have a mindset of wanting to not let myself get destroyed by these assholes, but other times I feel like I actually do want to get the whole destruction thing over with.

Sending you hugs! View attachment 98109

Once we see the system as a pacifying cage for slave & livestock to milk... Even psychiatry makes sense. They gave mental disirders to the ugrateful slaves who dared flee their generous masters... I loathe my own people.

 

[Funeralprincess]

I've been badly failed by the police. On September 1st two officers came to my home. I was mislead by them into believing I'd receive closure after being racially abused. The female officer actually told me that "I'm here to provide you with some closure so and so has admitted to what they said and couldn't deny it as they saw it on the video your provided us" (I was told to go back to my own country, bear in mind the women involved kicked me near my stomach before I ended up having a miscarriage) the officer told me she'd be referring the lady to a course and I'd get an apology letter from the lady. Only told be told last night (saw the email this morning) that the police would be taking no further action because the lady said she wasn't a racist and was sorry if I interpreted her comment "instead of filming, get back in your own country you silly bitch" hmmmm I wonder how else that comment would be viewed. I'm brown why else would she think I wasn't in my own country when my accent is English? I feel lied to, mislead by the officer and the whole investigation was a shamble. The other officer broke GDPR he told me the new address of one of the neighbours who'd been arrested. He told me the prison they were now going to be living in. I didn't ask. They are corrupt. Basically the female officer came to my home on 1st September under the guise of providing me closure. Personally I've been failed so much throughout my life by professionals, where people have been allowed to harm me (especially my birth family) and no one has ever been punished. I feel so depressed I just don't want to be here anymore. I want to die. I was supposed to be meeting my best friend today but I just don't feel up to it anymore. I got my eyebrows done so I loom pretty ecetera and did a facial only to have a police officer fail me after lieing to me and misleading me in person. I just want to die.

Sounds like you have a possible lawsuit against the police department that id HEAVILY suggest you pursue. A pro Bono lawyer would happily take a shitshow case like this because if there is evidence as you say, that's an easy win. I'd reach out to a civil liberties union for resources on something like this because this is not okay at all. You were degraded AND lost your baby… horrible what they did

 

[Hollowillow]

Sounds like you have a possible lawsuit against the police department that id HEAVILY suggest you pursue. A pro Bono lawyer would happily take a shitshow case like this because if there is evidence as you say, that's an easy win. I'd reach out to a civil liberties union for resources on something like this because this is not okay at all. You were degraded AND lost your baby… horrible what they did

We can full blown sue cops? I tried to complain but they send me to their deontologie, refused to have all cops present, and I can only plea to them to be more sensitive. Fucking bullshit.

I envy suicide bombers.

 

[Funeralprincess]

We can full blown sue cops? I tried to complain but they send me to their deontologie, refused to have all cops present, and I can only plea to them to be more sensitive. Fucking bullshit.

I envy suicide bombers.

You can sue the police department. I do believe you could also sue anyone as an individual as well

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you have had to endure. Some people really are so cruel and it's terrible the way that many people treat others. When I hear of people doing things like that it just makes me want to leave this world even more. I wish you relief from suffering.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

We can full blown sue cops? I tried to complain but they send me to their deontologie, refused to have all cops present, and I can only plea to them to be more sensitive. Fucking bullshit.

I envy suicide bombers.

See if you can find a lawyer who will do it on contingency…

 

[It’sFkgUnbearable]

My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry for your loss. When I was young my whole family failed me. I tried to change the course with my own family but feel I am still the one failing them.