Venting I don't want to hurt my girlfriend but she insists on staying with me until I CTB

[Flowerleelee]

I told my girlfriend about my suicide plan today, she said it wouldn't be fair to try and stop me but she would be extremely sad if I went through with it, she insists on staying with me until the end, but I don't want to deepen the relationship if I'm just going to die sooner or later and end up leaving her in pain. I'm trying to slowly distance myself from her, but I don't know how I can even bring myself to break up with her, even now all I am is a burden on her, I can never show her love because I'm always depressed and angry, and she deserves someone so much better. I still have a year if my plan goes correctly, but fuck... it sucks thinking about what to do, I wish I never got into a relationship.

 

[curiousfawn]

she knows what shes in for since shes okay with ur plan 2 ctb but she loves u enough to stick it out with u so u shouldnt be like ah im not good enough!! she signed up for this n she loves u for who u are, suicidal or not, if u wanna break up with her cus ur genuinely unhappy with the relationship then go ahead but if u break up with her bcus u wanna "protect" i think that wld be abit silly

 

[Princess_Kitty]

That's so kind of her to support your decision. I wish my wife was like that. She loves you very much to let you CTB if you choose. I'd say just stick with her for now, and if you do choose to CTB in the end then well at least you won't be alone in the end.

 

[meowmix]

i'm in the same situation as you are. my bf also tells me the same things. he wants to be with me until the end, he says. he wants to enjoy my company while its still around. he tells me its my choice, but at the same time he keeps telling me how much suffering he would go through if i were gone. i keep insinuating to him that we break up so we both don't bear the pain of me being apart from him forever. its truly a confusing ride.

don't have much to say except we're on the same boat. like really on the same boat. same thoughts of being a burden and everything. just wanted to let you know you're not alone.