cymbaline23
Member
- May 1, 2024
- 35
I literally have no friends. My therapist is all I have besides my mom, she's my best friend, but she's not even actually my friend. Part of me wishes I had never started therapy, because now I'm too attached. I've been going for almost 2 years and I've made no improvements. I can't stop thinking about therapy and it stresses me out. I keep having nightmares that my therapist gets replaced, or I'm hospitalized, etc. I'm scared one day she'll move away like my doctor did, or that something else will happen, especially since where I live is so unsafe.
What's the point in anything if everything ends? I'm so messed up. I had therapy this morning, and I can't stop crying and thinking about this stuff. I wish I could talk to her more. I've never met anyone that understands and listens like she does. There's a guy I talk to online sometimes, and I would literally rather talk to my therapist about everything. He CONSTANTLY talks over me and shit, and he even basically said he doesn't consider me a friend. I don't belong anywhere. No one gives a fuck about me or listens. I just want to be accepted and listened to. I miss at least having online friends to play games with. I need someone good in my life. I can't be alone anymore, but I'm so broken and socially inept, it's become impossible for me. There's no point anyway. I can't function like anyone else, and one day my mom will die and I'll be alone and probably homeless. My therapist seems to think this is all temporary, and I don't understand how.
I'm tired of hurting. I just want it all to go away and be better, but no matter how hard I try it's all the same because I'm trapped. I can't function like everyone else. I wish I could be a good person. It feels like there's a demon inside me sometimes. It used to be so easy to make friends, at least online. Now I can't even do that, much less meet someone in person. I never thought things would end up this way, I thought it would eventually get better, but it's only gotten worse. I'm so scared to even leave the house. I just need this to be over. I'm tired of suffering and being alone. It hurts I'm so attached to my therapist and have no one else, it's pathetic.
What's the point in anything if everything ends? I'm so messed up. I had therapy this morning, and I can't stop crying and thinking about this stuff. I wish I could talk to her more. I've never met anyone that understands and listens like she does. There's a guy I talk to online sometimes, and I would literally rather talk to my therapist about everything. He CONSTANTLY talks over me and shit, and he even basically said he doesn't consider me a friend. I don't belong anywhere. No one gives a fuck about me or listens. I just want to be accepted and listened to. I miss at least having online friends to play games with. I need someone good in my life. I can't be alone anymore, but I'm so broken and socially inept, it's become impossible for me. There's no point anyway. I can't function like anyone else, and one day my mom will die and I'll be alone and probably homeless. My therapist seems to think this is all temporary, and I don't understand how.
I'm tired of hurting. I just want it all to go away and be better, but no matter how hard I try it's all the same because I'm trapped. I can't function like everyone else. I wish I could be a good person. It feels like there's a demon inside me sometimes. It used to be so easy to make friends, at least online. Now I can't even do that, much less meet someone in person. I never thought things would end up this way, I thought it would eventually get better, but it's only gotten worse. I'm so scared to even leave the house. I just need this to be over. I'm tired of suffering and being alone. It hurts I'm so attached to my therapist and have no one else, it's pathetic.
