Venting I don't want to die, but I do

[Sadbanana]

I really don't want to die, I never did. I don't hate the concept of living, or being a concious entity. But why must this particular life be SO bad! It's like reality just wanted me to lose all hope and kill myself. I'm so scared of dying, I'm scared of pain, I'm scared I will fuck up the method.

Life is so unlivable, but I just can't die. This cognitive dissonance is killing me. I just want a release, I don't want to feel any emotions anymore.

 

[Kinasea]

I know what you mean. Everything about living just seems so exhausting and filled with so much pain. I know life can have joys but they just never seem to reach me. and although not existing seems lovely theres so much that goes into getting there (method, loose ends, etc.)