Help i dont want to die because of my boyfriend

[sage_]

I love my boyfriend so much, and I've been thinking of killing myself for so long now. after hanging out with him I realized I don't ever want to leave him. if I die he will be alone, hes already gone through so much; I want to live life together with him. I've had the mindset of the fact I was just going to kill myself so nothing really mattered, but now that ive decided to live, I don't even know how im going to even do that in the first place. I also feel like if I do decide to live a long life with my boyfriend, ill ruin it even more for him because what if I end up deciding to kill myself still; by that point id be just hurting him even more.. I don't know what to do in this situation.

 

[theboy]

And does he know about your suicidal thoughts?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Well you can't really say with certainty that you will eventually end up killing yourself. All you have is what you have right noe and is that a sustaining and loving relationship with your boyfriend.

 

[sage_]

And does he know about your suicidal thoughts?

yeah hes always helped me through them

 

[theslasher]

I'm happy for you.

Don't self sabotage the relationship just bc there's a possibility that suicidal thoughts will come back in the future. Just make the most of your life and your relationship with him. Now obviously, I don't think that someone else should be the only part of your life that helps your mental health, but maybe if your mental health improves while you're with him then pretty soon you'll start to become more passionate about living altogether and finding more reasons to stick around. Don't live your life thinking the worst possible outcomes. All you can really do is focus on making the most of right now, and naturally things tend to work out in the long run when you do that. Cheers.