I don’t want to ctb with a gun and I don’t know why

[itsyourfault]

Recently I ran into a thread, that asked what our preferred way of ctb would be and I realised, that death by a gun is highly desired. That got me thinking. I have quite easy access to guns, that could reliably kill me. I can not say, that such method is bad, quite frankly I must say the opposite(imo it's one of the best). I don't have fear of guns and I am used to working with them. And yet, for some unfathomable reason, I can not even think about using a gun to ctb.

Does anybody know why could it be or how could I overcome it?

 

[Mxverick]

There are many ways to die, use the one that suits you best.

 

[nadia225]

Usually it is in regard to one knowing that death is so accessible at a moment notice but it may have something to do with some inner will just wanting another force to it for you, if you were to die (as in creating a separation of some sort). Like a gun is a very direct way, although best it is you with a gun to your temple,chest, mouth ect about to press the trigger to the unknown in a moments notice right into it unknown and in a split second once you press that trigger there is no way to back out because boom it's over very very instant. With other methods you are aware you are dying yes but it gives more time in those final moments to really accept it however short for some methods prolonged for some too. Again it depends on the kind of person you are why you want to cbt in the first place and your preferred method will usually align with those variables. It's not about what is always the quickest or least painful because it is very arguable and up to personal experience and thoughts for some what they considered a peaceful death. You may want peace but choose different methods because it may not be suitable for who you are.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

no rhyme nor reason. if it doesn't suit you, no need to do it.

 

[enough of this]

I haven't wanted to because of the violence of it. But, considering the high rate of mortality of it, I'm reconsidering.
I've never been a gun advocate, and I've never owned one. I really don't even want to see a gun.
I was, and still am, considering taking all my meds, which I think would do the job.
But I've seen a statistic which indicates there's only a 1½ to 2% chance of mortality with pills.
There's somewhere around an 85% chance or better with a gun to the head.
In either case, I don't want to survive in a vegetative state.

 

[wagner2029]

Recently I ran into a thread, that asked what our preferred way of ctb would be and I realised, that death by a gun is highly desired. That got me thinking. I have quite easy access to guns, that could reliably kill me. I can not say, that such method is bad, quite frankly I must say the opposite(imo it's one of the best). I don't have fear of guns and I am used to working with them. And yet, for some unfathomable reason, I can not even think about using a gun to ctb.

Does anybody know why could it be or how could I overcome it?

I am going through a similar dilemma. I assembled a ctb using a nitrogen cylinder, but I am not able to do it.
I'm considering doing the sn, because I can't go back after drinking it, I've tried the ctb twice with the exit bag and nitrogen, but something stops me, I think it's just the millions of years of evolution working, trying to get me to keep alive.

 

[allthatimsaying]

I think it's the "too good to be true" line of thought kicking in. Or maybe you're just not fully prepared to CTB.

Either way, you can just do it. It's just in front of you.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Idk. For me, at least, I am hesitant in part because I do not want to inflict that kind of violence on myself; but given its reliability AND painlessness, I am still tempted.

 

[wagner2029]

I think it's the "too good to be true" line of thought kicking in. Or maybe you're just not fully prepared to CTB.

Either way, you can just do it. It's just in front of you.

I just freeze, something stops me, I feel distress for still being alive and not being able to catch the bus, right next to me, I feel taken by a fear, but I don't know what, I have no religion, I can't believe in no god, I still don't understand where this fear comes from. Anyway, I've already done the hard part.
I was researching the SN, I even bought a bottle yesterday, but nitrogen is going to be better.

 

[wagner2029]

I was researching the sn method, it's a cheap and easy method, but it's not painless, all the reports I've read from official sources show that there was vomiting and suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me that method sounds rather brutal which is why I'd ideally prefer a peaceful poison, I guess everyone just has their preferences as to what method they'd prefer, I desire a death which is like falling into an eternal sleep.

 

[020x]

I wouldn't hesitate but hey that's just me. If you really want to CTB, you got yourself very good method. I could only wish having access to a firearm.

 

[sundown12]

heard a story about a dude shooting himself with a shotgun in the head(!) and still surviving, made me terrified

 

[Takamagahara]

I own a gun and have plans to use it but given a choice I would rather overdose on fent or something. I think it's the idea that even if its instant, its a very conscious and deliberate process compared to just falling asleep and never waking up.

 

[jbear824]

I think I would also be afraid to pull the trigger if im honest. That fear of surviving the attempt. Or that I would feel immense pain. Unfortunately I can't access firearms unless i lie on the forms or buy one illegally. So that method is pretty much out for me. All of them are, I'm stuck here until something "natural" happens to me.

 

[MBG]

What a mess it would make!

Think of the trauma seeing your corpse will be to first responders and your family (think PTSD).

Don't be another statistic for the gun control Nazis.

Look into nitrogen gas asphyxiation with the R2D ReBreather lll.

 

[Azora]

I was planning to use a gun to do it and ended up actually going as far as to acquire a firearm safety certificate just to buy one. However, in the process of going through it and practicing using a gun, I became really frightened of them. I never had fired a gun before and was surprised how incredibly loud and violent they are, certainly not like they portray in the movies. Every round both sounded and felt like a bomb going off. The thought of putting something like that in my mouth and pulling the trigger became absolutely terrifying. On this forum, people actually suggest using heavy firearms like a magnum or a shotgun. YIKES! Might as well ask me to jump on a landmine!

I get that it's all fear and if done right you won't feel a thing (or even hear it), but getting the guts to do it is something that I'm just too much of a tiny weakling to do.

 

[nood11]

Gun is my chosen method too. Here are my fears.
1. It's scary to think of an explosion and a piece of metal ripping through my head.
2. Will I survive and be a severe vegetable making life 1000 times harder than it already is?
3. Will I see or be aware of a hole in my head and brains and blood everywhere?
4. How long will it take to die, and what will that be like knowing I've made an irreversible decision?
5. Is there a hell I will go to and suffer forever?
I just don't know if I'll ever have the courage to actually do it.