Venting I don't want to ctb, I just want a happy life:(

[_Minsk]

:(

 

[Zoltiel]

If you have fight left in you, then keep trying.. We would all choose a happy life if we could

 

[Kirbster]

Me too, fam. Me too. What would a happy life look like to you?

 

[Chronicillness]

I have very, very minimal requirements for what it takes for me to be happy. Sadly, I can't even meet those requirements. I don't want to die either. I'm being tortured everyday by my body, so I feel cornered.

 

[_Minsk]

If you have fight left in you, then keep trying.. We would all choose a happy life if we could

hmm, i think being back in control, having a healthy body mind and spirit, the left over stuff would be easy to fix then:/

-

i have a gf which im grateful for but each time we spend time together, the same for most other people, i feel this huge gap, they are happy but im so down there, it feels awkward every time i talk with them, i cant laugh about their jokes, i feel they expect me to act in a given way, if i don't, i feel this awkward feeling.. that has been lately on my mind.. im also getting frustrated in social situations because i feel completely powerless which results in anger, which on top causes separation. im giving all to suppress the anger but im pretty sure they must sense it, at least thats how it feels:(
i wish i could help others more but i can't even fix myself currently..

I have very, very minimal requirements for what it takes for me to be happy. Sadly, I can't even meet those requirements. I don't want to die either. I'm being tortured everyday by my body, so I feel cornered.

i can relate a lot to this

 

[dandan]

healthy body,, and here i am smoking a cigarrette fuck

 

[_Minsk]

healthy body,, and here i am smoking a cigarrette fuck

switch to vaping, it helped me a lot

 

[Ghost2211]

I know how you feel. Sometimes the desire to die is really the desire for every aspect of life to change. If you still have will to on tackle life's problems one at a time, and keep social support be it in person or virtual.

 

[S1mpleme]

What do you need to be happy?

 

[Conker]

"Happy" life won't even be enough for me, I want Earth & humanitree to be merry as well. No more amnesia & the only influential bloodlines left will be ones that aren't parasitic criminals waging war against society/nature. Such fleeting "happiness" is only paper thin anyways, eventually the nightmare catches up to all of us.

So, the question left to ask is how to delete this nightmare & usher in a golden age?

 

[Mr2005]

I need a time machine but then if someone ever built one it would be a disaster for humanity. Can't win unless I build it myself

 

[mathieu]

Same. It's never going to happen, though. I've given up all hope that it will.

 

[crybaby]

me too....I really don't want to ctb, but I can't get a happy life and I feel so pain every day ;3

 

[randomz]

Same here. I sometimes think it is so easy to be happy "just do that, that and that", I tell to myself and then it never happens, or when it happens and I feel better for a couple of days, reality hits me on the head again. At this point I am starting to convince myself that the most logical thing for me to do is just to get everyone I know rid of my pressence.

 

[boredtodeath]

me too, I wish things were different so I could enjoy life or at least stand it... some things are destined to fail

 

[voyager]

Felt like that for a long time, too. Life can indeed be quite lovely and worth fighting for. But overall my standards are probably too high. I know the mistakes I've made and what would've been had it not come to this. It's hard to accept anything less than this ideal. But I would. If I could only regain my balance, this inner peace I had. How I perceived the world and felt part of it. It's not possible though with the technical means we have available. Thus, killing myself becomes the best solution at destroying this tainted version I have of me.

 

[WhiteEyes]

Same, it terrifies me whenever I attempt it but I'm tired of fighting and things keep getting worse.

 

[BabyYoda]

Same here, there are so many things that I want to do before I leave. But I've got a long way to go.

 

[dandan]

Wish you guys the best, after 20 years Dianabol and Testo helped me get out of "I wanna die" life to "I'm working on something" (of course 20 years down makes me a new player at almost 40 and im way back. But I dont feel like dying anymore)

 

[BPD Barbie]

Wish you guys the best, after 20 years Dianabol and Testo helped me get out of "I wanna die" life to "I'm working on something" (of course 20 years down makes me a new player at almost 40 and im way back. But I dont feel like dying anymore)

Well done you proud that you're at this turning point. 40 is the new 20 by the way ;)

 

[Y-B]

Same here, I feel the older I am getting the more I'm falling behind, and the worse the outlook is for a happy life.

 

[Cevapcici]

Me too, but I feel I've only got myself to blame for my high standards. The real reason I'm miserable is that my reality doesn't match my expectations and my efforts. So here I am, spending my last days on earth tortured by envy,shame , and regrets ...and totally isolated because social situations also frustrate me... So I can relate.

Today, I wish I could simply lead an exciting , happy, and meaningful existence, but I feel like it's too late to start all over.
I really hope you find your way to recovery, and happiness.

 

[Y-B]

Me too, but I feel I've only got myself to blame for my high standards. The real reason I'm miserable is that my reality doesn't match my expectations and my efforts. So here I am, spending my last days on earth tortured by envy,shame , and regrets ...and totally isolated because social situations also frustrate me... So I can relate.

Today, I wish I could simply lead an exciting , happy, and meaningful existence, but I feel like it's too late to start all over.
I really hope you find your way to recovery, and happiness.

Yes I can totally really relate. Things may have been easier if I had friends that were stuck in a similar position. But my friends moved on with their careers, have families and it's made friendships break down.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I feel the same way, but I came to the realization that being happy is just not in the cards for me despite putting an effort and trying for the last 10 years.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Wish you guys the best, after 20 years Dianabol and Testo helped me get out of "I wanna die" life to "I'm working on something" (of course 20 years down makes me a new player at almost 40 and im way back. But I dont feel like dying anymore)

Wow awesome!! So happy to hear that u found reason to live!!

 

[Nnana]

I understand your pain. And then we come to the horrible conclusion that life is unfair. Some people are happy while others are unhappy. How I wish I could have a good life. I wish I didn't have to kill myself.

 

[dandan]

Well done you ❤ proud that you're at this turning point. 40 is the new 20 by the way ;)

I like this one :)
40's is the new 20's

 

[Polly]

:(

This.