Venting I don't want to be on this world anymore but I still am

[pace_of_the_future]

I had the date, things ready. Yet I didn't do it because I had this false thought it'll get better. I just feel like I'm going in a loop of falsely hoping it'll get better but then I still am in fact not. I thought I wouldn't need to come back here but there's no other place I can go to right now I'm just tired of existing