Arya Quinn
Member
- Aug 5, 2023
- 8
Well, when I'd initially joined I had hoped to wait it out and see if things got better. They only got worse. I've done everything on my end to try and make things better, but nobody has been willing to help me and I'm not strong enough to do things on my own.
So this has become my only option. Things are too bleak for this girl to continue.
I don't live somewhere with access to some of the more painless methods. Firearms aren't legal, and there's no tall buildings with roof access. Bridges are too short as well, I could survive the fall.I know from past experience that the whole mixing alcohol with medicine is a lot messier than it's portrayed on television (I attempted at 18 and failed) There's a lot of very, very painful methods but my life so far has been that filled with pain that I want to avoid it as much as possible. They're guaranteed methods, especially if you live alone like I do (stabbing, hanging, bleach etc) but they're also guaranteed to be incredibly painful.
Take the stabbing, for example. Seppuku required there to be somebody else on standby to put the one committing it out of their misery if the pain was too great.
As for the trains? I don't want somebody else to be racked with guilt because I jumped. I live pretty damn close to a train station, I could literally be dead in about an hour if I wanted to. But the poor driver. Some people might tell me, well what would it matter, because I'd already be dead. There might be just emptiness once the train hits me, after all.
But I don't want somebody else to get hurt in my attempt to end things. That's the last thing I want.
Right now the only thing keeping me here is the thought that I don't want dying to be incredibly painful.
Any ideas? I just want this to be over.
So this has become my only option. Things are too bleak for this girl to continue.
I don't live somewhere with access to some of the more painless methods. Firearms aren't legal, and there's no tall buildings with roof access. Bridges are too short as well, I could survive the fall.I know from past experience that the whole mixing alcohol with medicine is a lot messier than it's portrayed on television (I attempted at 18 and failed) There's a lot of very, very painful methods but my life so far has been that filled with pain that I want to avoid it as much as possible. They're guaranteed methods, especially if you live alone like I do (stabbing, hanging, bleach etc) but they're also guaranteed to be incredibly painful.
Take the stabbing, for example. Seppuku required there to be somebody else on standby to put the one committing it out of their misery if the pain was too great.
As for the trains? I don't want somebody else to be racked with guilt because I jumped. I live pretty damn close to a train station, I could literally be dead in about an hour if I wanted to. But the poor driver. Some people might tell me, well what would it matter, because I'd already be dead. There might be just emptiness once the train hits me, after all.
But I don't want somebody else to get hurt in my attempt to end things. That's the last thing I want.
Right now the only thing keeping me here is the thought that I don't want dying to be incredibly painful.
Any ideas? I just want this to be over.
