I don't think I'm even a human being

[MrBlue]

I don't know how to be human. One of my most vivid memories as a kid was the fact that the only word I would consistently misspell was "friend". That sums up my entire life really, I haven't had any deeper connection other than casual acquaintances outside of my family, and now that I'm in my 20's it has become readily apparent that the longer I rely on them for any of my emotional/financial needs the more pathetic I become.

There is no aspect in my life where I am at an average/acceptable level for other people. I've found it impossible to find a job, I don't have a driving licence, I have no talent for anything, I'm painfully unattractive (never been in a relationship) and just a utter POS in every way imaginable. I don't think I've ever met a person who viewed me as an equal to them, I'm always deemed less in every regard. But I don't blame them. I think most people are decent, they just don't want anything to do with me. I'm the common denominator.

My life will never get better. at best I'll get a entry level job unrelated to my pointless applied science degree and then spend then rest of my life working 9-5, 5 days a week without ever having the human connections that other people use to survive the shittier aspects in life. Don't get me wrong, I know that friends/relationships aren't perfect, and come with their own problems. But I can't even reach the point where I can mess up a relationship, or lose contact with a friend etc. I'm such a subhuman I don't even get the chance to participate in being a human.

ctb won't be killing someone, it would be putting down a gollum-like abomination.

Very sorry for the long vent.

 

[Garbage Person]

Too bad you can't spell "friend" without "end", and these days, there are more fiends than friends. At least you realize that it isn't perfect. Relationships are a two way street and balancing the give and take can feel like walking a tight rope. I like you. Even though I've had job after job, relationship after relationship, and friends that come and go, these posts STILL resonate so heavily with how I feel sometimes, hell, most of the time. When you're abadoned so frequently, you still end up feeling "less than". I wish I had more advice or even some words of wisdom. I'm here if you ever need an ear, feel free to PM me. My life is a shit show, perpetually falling into an abyss as I crash through every rock bottom. Hopefully the need for any of it will subside.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

i feel so horrible that you do not consider yourself a person. you are a person. don't let anyone make you feel otherwise!

 

[XYZ]

Some of us just dont fit in. I feel like a fuckin freak too. Not the kind you stare at. The kind you dont even notice coz it's so weird you don't even know what you're looking at so you ignore it and carry on.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

I have felt the same way.

 

[ocd is bad]

I know what you mean man, I'm exactly the same. I have such a hard time connecting with people and I never fit in. It's like I'm from a different planet sometimes.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Most of what you mention will be very relatable for this crowd. Especially the younger early to mid 20s crowd. The economy has collapsed in such a way that you're far from alone.

Many middle aged adults are even living paycheck to paycheck or have massive debts. Stats show a much higher rate of 20 somethings living at home, not being married, and having little future.

This sort of crisis hasn't fully blossomed yet but it will. An you'll be a part of the majority rather than the minority at that point. I know, however, that it's no consolation.

The chickens are coming home to roost as they'd say. Our parents fucked us and now we're living the consequences. There is still some hope but the mountain you face is much steeper than the one your parents did.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I don't fit in at all tbh. In terms of looks, skills, intelligence and personality I will never be acceptable. I can't fit in as a functional human in this world so there really is no point in me trying.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I don't fit in at all tbh. In terms of looks, skills, intelligence and personality I will never be acceptable. I can't fit in as a functional human in this world so there really is no point in me trying.

That's honestly some sad shit man and I'm sorry. Certain things can't be fixed and I know how shallow our society has become.