Venting I don't think I'll kill myself

[HappySisyphus]

I thought about it, I have been throught the most difficult period of my life recently, I have hit rock bottom and got kind of back, and I think if I haven't killed myself yet, I probably won't ever do it, I know there can always be a rockier bottom but still, I'll probably consider it as always, but I don't think I will go throught it.
This sucks, I hate it so mush, I hate that I can't just kill myself, that I can't just end everything and finally be at peace, I hate that I have to keep living, that I have to keep suffering without a way to stop it, thinking about killing myself gave me hope of a fix to my problems, but now that I have reached this conclusion it doesn't help me.
I wish there was an easy way to kill myself, that with just the cease of a button I would stop existing, I would probably actually kill myself in that case. but doing it in reality just seems like too much of a hassle, and I hate that. I really wish I am wrong, and that I will kill myself some day.

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly would be such a relief if we could just choose to cease existing instantly, it really is way too unnecessarily difficult to die and I also hate how it's that way. In my case I would had been free a long time ago if suicide is straightforward.