I don't think I even have a good reason to suicide

[Ludivinicus]

My life has never been positive, I have had very negative experiences but I feel like I don't even have a good reason to commit suicide
It's not about the logic of suicide, but about feelings. Have you ever felt depressed, wanting to commit suicide but at the same time thinking that you don't even have a good reason to do it? It's strange

 

[penguinl0v3s]

That's me! Broken brain. I get depressed from things that most people would have a normal reason to, probably due to having already had to deal with so much shit in the past. Even though it's resolved, I'm still tired. It's kinda like nothing is draining my battery anymore, but nothing is charging it either so I remain at 50% energy in day to day life.

 

[edu0z]

My life has never been positive, I have had very negative experiences but I feel like I don't even have a good reason to commit suicide
It's not about the logic of suicide, but about feelings. Have you ever felt depressed, wanting to commit suicide but at the same time thinking that you don't even have a good reason to do it? It's strange

Realistically, very few people have a "good reason" for CTB... most suicides are emotional, something that's wrong with your brain... I feel the same way, for me I describe it like this: Suicidal thoughts are like a switch has been flipped in your brain. Most people never experience it but once that switch is activated, whether due to trauma or whatever, you are going to have to live with it your whole life. Even in the best moments of my life I remember wanting CTB, it's something that doesn't go away, I've rarely had a real reason for it, but they're still there.

 

[Ludivinicus]

The thing is that I'm not even that emotional anymore. I tend to repress my emotions so it feels empty inside me most of the times. At least emptier than most people. I can feel certain emotions, I can feel anxiety but for example I'm unable to cry and I haven't cried in the last 10 years for example.

 

[greatgooglymoogly]

I think I kind of understand that feeling.

For me I feel like I just decided suicide was the way back when I was feeling my worst emotions very strongly. And it's just kind of stuck as the only solid constant thing I can lean on when I don't really feel much of any emotion super strongly anymore. That empty feeling is hard because my brain tells me emptiness can't possibly outweigh the damage I'd be doing to my loved ones, but I know it's more complicated than that.

 

[ChangeWaiter]

Absolutely I think that with a healthier brain, attitude towards life and the right amount of stamina/ guts, a person in my situation shouldn't crave for and plan to ctb every day. But I became a coward, ... oh well.