YouZitsuEnjoyer
New Member
- Nov 16, 2023
- 1
I fell in love, big mistake, broke me up piece by piece.
I know it was my mistake, like- I broke up with her last year because of social pressure. I shouldn't have done that, even though I stopped talking to her, we started talking again 6 months ago, I couldn't stop feeling what I felt, and I chose to talk to her again. However, I still don't forget that feeling of pain I felt when she kissed her ex in front of me the day after we broke up.
But, I forgive her. It wasn't even a bad thing, we weren't something anymore, right? So, we spoke again, and I fell in love even more. She changed a lot after she got back with her ex, she was.. broken. He broke her, and what does that mean? well, she doesn't feel love anymore. She says she likes me, she says she loves me, she says I matter to her, but, she just behaves like a bitch, she was unfaithful to her new boyfriend and cheated on him with me, I didn't want to tell him, I haven't told him. I just don't wanna feel that pain back again, I don't wanna lose her, I don't want to get away from her.
I've told her what I think, I've told her how I feel, she broke up with her new boyfriend but she still fucks and kisses him from time to time, and she does too with me, but I feel bad. I do love her, and I love her a lot, I've never felt this with someone as I do with her, but she just doesn't care about my feelings, she says she doesn't want anything serious because she doesn't want to deal with the feelings of other people but, I really love her and I really want her to marry me. We were "friends", we are "friends", but she started talking to her other ex again XDDD
Like- there's even this guy that flirts with her from time to time and she flirts with him back, she says she doesn't like him but bitch wym you don't if you even told him you would fuck him if you wanted and he said he would too. I'm losing my head over someone who I know it's not worth it, and I know I shouldn't be close to her because it's not good for me, but I don't want to drop everything we have. I love her, and I'm willing to die for her, but she just doesn't care.
I offered her the world, I made her poems and videos, I spent a whole lot of money on her, and we do fuck sometimes, we do kiss, I do receive her "affect", but, she's now telling me to not include her in things she hasn't asked-
I know I'm an idiot, and she's way too spiteful. She hasn't forgiven me because of breaking up with her last year, she makes it seem like it's my fault she got back with her ex and she's all fked up as she is rn.
I'm living in a fucking love hexagon bro wtf, I just feel like giving up. I've cut myself a few times before, I've cut her name on my wrist, I thought it was gonna be a cute detail but she didn't like it and started to lecture me as if I was a little child. She says she doesn't want to deal with feelings, when she's in public she asks me why am I feeling down but she doesn't even write to me when I want to talk to her, and she knows I want to talk to her, she knows I wish talking with her, but she doesn't even care anymore because I'm the most replaceable thing in this fked up planed and she rather talk with one of her exs than talk with me.
I think she hates me, she makes me suffer a lot, I want to give up but I don't have the courage to kill myself, I've thought about jumping, and it'd be effective since I have a perfect window where to jump, plus it's isolated so nobody should find my body for a while. The problem is my mother, every time I think about doing it I think of her, and the problem is that she loves me a lot, I don't want her to suffer, and I don't want her to feel as bad as I do or even worse. But I just can't do this anymore, I want to give up, I really do, but I don't want my mom to suffer, I don't want her to experience my death.
But, I still want to marry that girl, I still love her, even after all the pain I've suffered because of her, even if she has an affair with someone while she's in a relationship with me, I love her. People have told me that I have to go to a specialist but I don't feel like going to a psychologist and telling them my problems, I don't want my parents to find out I feel like shit, I just want to stop my suffering, but I have to give back to my mom what she has given to me, I was rose by her by herself, and she did everything she could to give me everything I want, I don't want her to suffer.
Some say I don't have such an extreme pain if the only reason why I don't kill myself is my family, and yes, they might be right. I do want to kill myself but what I want more than that is her being in love with me, her giving me what I gave her, her loving me like she used to last year, but I just make her feel bad when I feel bad because I drop everything that's inside my mind and then she feels bad because I tell her she's behaving like a bitch when she's playing with six mfs at the same time.
This is so unfair, life is so unfair, love is so unfair. I need something, maybe encouragement? I want to die but I don't want my mom to feel bad, I've thought about killing her before I kill myself but I just don't have enough balls to do it, the least I can do to relieve my pain is cutting myself, but other than that, I just want to die.
It hurts when I see she's online and she hasn't talked to me, it hurts when I know she's talking to another guy, it hurts because I feel like everything we had didn't matter to her and nothing was ever important, she just wants me to fuck or wth? She doesn't want to deal with boundaries, but she wants to feel love??? what the hell is that, I can't do this anymore, I really can't.
I need help, please, I really do need help, anything, killing myself, recovering, I don't care but I don't want to suffer anymore, please.
I know it was my mistake, like- I broke up with her last year because of social pressure. I shouldn't have done that, even though I stopped talking to her, we started talking again 6 months ago, I couldn't stop feeling what I felt, and I chose to talk to her again. However, I still don't forget that feeling of pain I felt when she kissed her ex in front of me the day after we broke up.
But, I forgive her. It wasn't even a bad thing, we weren't something anymore, right? So, we spoke again, and I fell in love even more. She changed a lot after she got back with her ex, she was.. broken. He broke her, and what does that mean? well, she doesn't feel love anymore. She says she likes me, she says she loves me, she says I matter to her, but, she just behaves like a bitch, she was unfaithful to her new boyfriend and cheated on him with me, I didn't want to tell him, I haven't told him. I just don't wanna feel that pain back again, I don't wanna lose her, I don't want to get away from her.
I've told her what I think, I've told her how I feel, she broke up with her new boyfriend but she still fucks and kisses him from time to time, and she does too with me, but I feel bad. I do love her, and I love her a lot, I've never felt this with someone as I do with her, but she just doesn't care about my feelings, she says she doesn't want anything serious because she doesn't want to deal with the feelings of other people but, I really love her and I really want her to marry me. We were "friends", we are "friends", but she started talking to her other ex again XDDD
Like- there's even this guy that flirts with her from time to time and she flirts with him back, she says she doesn't like him but bitch wym you don't if you even told him you would fuck him if you wanted and he said he would too. I'm losing my head over someone who I know it's not worth it, and I know I shouldn't be close to her because it's not good for me, but I don't want to drop everything we have. I love her, and I'm willing to die for her, but she just doesn't care.
I offered her the world, I made her poems and videos, I spent a whole lot of money on her, and we do fuck sometimes, we do kiss, I do receive her "affect", but, she's now telling me to not include her in things she hasn't asked-
I know I'm an idiot, and she's way too spiteful. She hasn't forgiven me because of breaking up with her last year, she makes it seem like it's my fault she got back with her ex and she's all fked up as she is rn.
I'm living in a fucking love hexagon bro wtf, I just feel like giving up. I've cut myself a few times before, I've cut her name on my wrist, I thought it was gonna be a cute detail but she didn't like it and started to lecture me as if I was a little child. She says she doesn't want to deal with feelings, when she's in public she asks me why am I feeling down but she doesn't even write to me when I want to talk to her, and she knows I want to talk to her, she knows I wish talking with her, but she doesn't even care anymore because I'm the most replaceable thing in this fked up planed and she rather talk with one of her exs than talk with me.
I think she hates me, she makes me suffer a lot, I want to give up but I don't have the courage to kill myself, I've thought about jumping, and it'd be effective since I have a perfect window where to jump, plus it's isolated so nobody should find my body for a while. The problem is my mother, every time I think about doing it I think of her, and the problem is that she loves me a lot, I don't want her to suffer, and I don't want her to feel as bad as I do or even worse. But I just can't do this anymore, I want to give up, I really do, but I don't want my mom to suffer, I don't want her to experience my death.
But, I still want to marry that girl, I still love her, even after all the pain I've suffered because of her, even if she has an affair with someone while she's in a relationship with me, I love her. People have told me that I have to go to a specialist but I don't feel like going to a psychologist and telling them my problems, I don't want my parents to find out I feel like shit, I just want to stop my suffering, but I have to give back to my mom what she has given to me, I was rose by her by herself, and she did everything she could to give me everything I want, I don't want her to suffer.
Some say I don't have such an extreme pain if the only reason why I don't kill myself is my family, and yes, they might be right. I do want to kill myself but what I want more than that is her being in love with me, her giving me what I gave her, her loving me like she used to last year, but I just make her feel bad when I feel bad because I drop everything that's inside my mind and then she feels bad because I tell her she's behaving like a bitch when she's playing with six mfs at the same time.
This is so unfair, life is so unfair, love is so unfair. I need something, maybe encouragement? I want to die but I don't want my mom to feel bad, I've thought about killing her before I kill myself but I just don't have enough balls to do it, the least I can do to relieve my pain is cutting myself, but other than that, I just want to die.
It hurts when I see she's online and she hasn't talked to me, it hurts when I know she's talking to another guy, it hurts because I feel like everything we had didn't matter to her and nothing was ever important, she just wants me to fuck or wth? She doesn't want to deal with boundaries, but she wants to feel love??? what the hell is that, I can't do this anymore, I really can't.
I need help, please, I really do need help, anything, killing myself, recovering, I don't care but I don't want to suffer anymore, please.
