I don't really want to die but i have too many problems

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

When I think about it, I realize that I don't truly want to ctb, because I don't like the idea of what may come after this life, if anything. I don't like thinking about a potential punishment or other penalty inflicted upon my soul, if there even is such a system. None of us really know what comes after this. I imagine many people believe there is nothing, which I guess would be cool. But we can't be sure. Perhaps there is some virtue or benefit to suffering in this life. I would feel like it's a pity to deny myself possible spiritual progress or soul development.

At the same time, I don't see a way forward in my life. I am 34 years old and have been crippled by social anxiety and major depression all my life. I isolated myself from the day I was born. I was never comfortable with other people, including friends or socializing. This led to all kinds of problems - two failed marriages, dropping out of college, becoming extremely rusty with socializing and becoming misanthropic/miserable/too serious. I have spent 99% of my life indoors basically doing nothing. And get this - I have never worked a day in my life due to fear of people and major issues related to performance-anxiety.

My father is a good man and has sustained me throughout my life. He has supported me financially all the way, but he's 66 and I can't do this to him anymore. I am deeply ashamed by this. And when he's gone, I won't be able to support myself.

4 years ago I developed physical depression symptoms that I've had ever since. Major fatigue, brain fog, weakness, jelly legs, lightheadedness, etc. I got thoroughly medically checked out and there's nothing wrong with me. So the consensus is that it's depression. But my quality of life has been in the toilet ever since and I simply can't function well, physically or mentally. I have had several nervous breakdowns because of it. Figuring out what was going on with me landed me $50,000 in debt. I am drowning in it, getting calls from debt collectors and hospitals every 5 minutes, and I'm still no better. It's beyond maddening, and there's no possibility I can climb out of it.

What troubles me is that there is no way out for people like me. Those who have too many things going on - who don't get to see even a window open when all the doors slam shut. Those who have good qualities and potential, but layers of problems that can't be unraveled. I get that we can't babysit everyone, but it just seems a pity. There must be millions of good people who trudge through life with so many issues they don't even know where to begin. I am one of those people.

Does this sound relatable to anyone?

 

[Oyashiro-sama]

Well, we are in different stages of life, I am 24 years old and I am single, but I feel 100% identified with not being able to socialize, in large part it is a reason why I would like CTB

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

Very relatable.
I'm a 26 y/o NEET, no education, never had a job, kissless virgin, spent the last decade basically locked up in my room. If it wasn't for my mom I would starve to death.

I've had anxiety since childhood, even the simplest tasks are scary to me, I've always had trouble with socializing and just wanted to be left alone. I was bullied in school even by the teachers, because I'm weird and socially retarded.
My AvPD eventually turned into full blown schizoid PD, anxiety into derealization, isolation made me depressed and suicidal... I don't know how to live, I was born with some kind of damage and it only got worse over time.

My life is clearly a mistake, I just want out.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

When I think about it, I realize that I don't truly want to ctb, because I don't like the idea of what may come after this life, if anything. I don't like thinking about a potential punishment or other penalty inflicted upon my soul, if there even is such a system. None of us really know what comes after this. I imagine many people believe there is nothing, which I guess would be cool. But we can't be sure. Perhaps there is some virtue or benefit to suffering in this life. I would feel like it's a pity to deny myself possible spiritual progress or soul development.

At the same time, I don't see a way forward in my life. I am 34 years old and have been crippled by social anxiety and major depression all my life. I isolated myself from the day I was born. I was never comfortable with other people, including friends or socializing. This led to all kinds of problems - two failed marriages, dropping out of college, becoming extremely rusty with socializing and becoming misanthropic/miserable/too serious. I have spent 99% of my life indoors basically doing nothing. And get this - I have never worked a day in my life due to fear of people and major issues related to performance-anxiety.

My father is a good man and has sustained me throughout my life. He has supported me financially all the way, but he's 66 and I can't do this to him anymore. I am deeply ashamed by this. And when he's gone, I won't be able to support myself.

4 years ago I developed physical depression symptoms that I've had ever since. Major fatigue, brain fog, weakness, jelly legs, lightheadedness, etc. I got thoroughly medically checked out and there's nothing wrong with me. So the consensus is that it's depression. But my quality of life has been in the toilet ever since and I simply can't function well, physically or mentally. I have had several nervous breakdowns because of it. Figuring out what was going on with me landed me $50,000 in debt. I am drowning in it, getting calls from debt collectors and hospitals every 5 minutes, and I'm still no better. It's beyond maddening, and there's no possibility I can climb out of it.

What troubles me is that there is no way out for people like me. Those who have too many things going on - who don't get to see even a window open when all the doors slam shut. Those who have good qualities and potential, but layers of problems that can't be unraveled. I get that we can't babysit everyone, but it just seems a pity. There must be millions of good people who trudge through life with so many issues they don't even know where to begin. I am one of those people.

Does this sound relatable to anyone?

I relate on a deep and personalI level. Some details are quite different but Ibut I think I understand the general feeling

 

[Lunar]

I can relate very much so.

I'm 28. I've never had a job, dropped out of college, spent pretty much the majority of my life indoors. I won't be able to support myself if my father passes away (it's one of the many reasons why I want to kick the bucket). Also the depression physical symptoms you described "Major fatigue, brain fog, weakness, jelly legs, lightheadedness, etc." are all things I experience. I've always felt for the longest time that I'm socially inept, stupid and ugly. I feel like my brain can't seem to comprehend simple things no matter how many times I seem to be shown, it's something that adds to the survival instinct because I worry that I'll even mess my own death up.

 

[nuclearsnake]

Yeah, sometimes I think that living wouldn't be too bad if it wasn't for my fucked up situation. Sometimes I get sad that I don't get to live because of all my problems and that I have to ctb since that's the only way. And other people don't really have that issue and just get to be normal and socialise and work and live a fucking life. Life is really unfair.

My situation is so all over the place I don't know what to do. I'm a tranny, I'm seriously ugly as fucking sin to the point where I think about cutting my face all the time, I'm super fucked up emotionally and mentally to the point where I don't know how social interaction works and how you're supposed to function in this world. I'll never have a girlfriend, probably won't ever get a job because I'm too scared to do anything and hate myself too much to leave the house, I will never be cis, I'll never stop being fucked over due to shitty past, etc.
There's no point anymore. I geniunly believe I'm one of these people that are destined to kill themselves. It's just how it is. I'm not cut out for life, at all. If there's a god I'd love to know what the hell he was thinking when he made me.

I often look at famous people that struggled with mental illness their whole lives and that still killed themselves after becoming popular and getting rich and that just kind of proves to me that some people will be killed by their own mind no matter what. It's kind of fucked up to realize that you don't really have another choice tbh.

At the same time there's part of me that feels calm and happy whenever I think about all of this being finally over. It just sucks that I tortured myself for 23 years with people promising me left and right that it's going to get better even though it never did and never will. So lots of pointless suffering that could have been avoided. Lol

 

[DarkTear]

I guess many people will understand you here... especially the part about not wanting to die but not wanting to live either. It's a dillema.
I can relate myself to all the postings that have made before on this thread. The world outside scares me, social interactions scare me, I quit my first job/education 2 months after I started it when I was 18 after I finished school (every day has been pure horror) due to anxiety. Since then I'm working part time for ~600€ a month. I had no relationship in my hole life and I'm stuttering sometimes, which makes social interaction even more difficult as it already is.

Hugs to all of you, I can feel you...

 

[satou]

I can relate OP. I'm 32, no job ever. I don't want to depend on my parents forever. I don't really want to put up with the bullshit that comes with getting money from the government either. I've got some debt... not that much but just thinking about it makes me terribly anxious... so I just ignore it. Not the best solution.

I spend my mid and late twenties being really depressed (as opposed to mild depression ever since my early teens). Eventually the really bad depression sort of faded, but I don't feel good about myself and my life at all. I think being depressed for that long has also left me with mood swings.

I've got some options still, but I'm quickly running out. And the pressure that comes with having to succeed in the next three years or so, it being now or never... I'm having a hard time with that. I already know that if things don't work out I'll definitely fall back into depression again. And I don't feel like letting that happen.

I would rather not die, but I am not planning to live a fucked up life forever. At some point it's going to be enough for me. I don't know when yet, but I'm prepared for it. Rambling a bit but it's late...

 

[Final Escape]

When I think about it, I realize that I don't truly want to ctb, because I don't like the idea of what may come after this life, if anything. I don't like thinking about a potential punishment or other penalty inflicted upon my soul, if there even is such a system. None of us really know what comes after this. I imagine many people believe there is nothing, which I guess would be cool. But we can't be sure. Perhaps there is some virtue or benefit to suffering in this life. I would feel like it's a pity to deny myself possible spiritual progress or soul development.

At the same time, I don't see a way forward in my life. I am 34 years old and have been crippled by social anxiety and major depression all my life. I isolated myself from the day I was born. I was never comfortable with other people, including friends or socializing. This led to all kinds of problems - two failed marriages, dropping out of college, becoming extremely rusty with socializing and becoming misanthropic/miserable/too serious. I have spent 99% of my life indoors basically doing nothing. And get this - I have never worked a day in my life due to fear of people and major issues related to performance-anxiety.

My father is a good man and has sustained me throughout my life. He has supported me financially all the way, but he's 66 and I can't do this to him anymore. I am deeply ashamed by this. And when he's gone, I won't be able to support myself.

4 years ago I developed physical depression symptoms that I've had ever since. Major fatigue, brain fog, weakness, jelly legs, lightheadedness, etc. I got thoroughly medically checked out and there's nothing wrong with me. So the consensus is that it's depression. But my quality of life has been in the toilet ever since and I simply can't function well, physically or mentally. I have had several nervous breakdowns because of it. Figuring out what was going on with me landed me $50,000 in debt. I am drowning in it, getting calls from debt collectors and hospitals every 5 minutes, and I'm still no better. It's beyond maddening, and there's no possibility I can climb out of it.

What troubles me is that there is no way out for people like me. Those who have too many things going on - who don't get to see even a window open when all the doors slam shut. Those who have good qualities and potential, but layers of problems that can't be unraveled. I get that we can't babysit everyone, but it just seems a pity. There must be millions of good people who trudge through life with so many issues they don't even know where to begin. I am one of those people.

Does this sound relatable to anyone?

Yep, I have similar problems that are driving me to cbt. Maybe it's our generation and even younger generations were basically coddled and raised by other people so we didn't develop certain skills necessary to function in the real world. If you were educated by government schools u were more disadvantaged than u realize.

 

[Swisher]

I can relate OP. I'm 32, no job ever. I don't want to depend on my parents forever. I don't really want to put up with the bullshit that comes with getting money from the government either. I've got some debt... not that much but just thinking about it makes me terribly anxious... so I just ignore it. Not the best solution.

I spendmy mid and late twenties being really depressed (as opposed to mild depression ever since my early teens). Eventually the really bad depression sort of faded, but I don't feel good about myself and my life at all. I think being depressed for that long has also left me with mood swings.

I've got some options still, but I'm quickly running out. And the pressure that comes with having to succeed in the next three years or so, it being now or never... I'm having a hard time with that. I already know that if things don't work out I'll definitely fall back into depression again. And I don't feel like letting that happen.

I would rather not die, but I am not planning to live a fucked up life forever. At some point it's going to be enough for me. I don't know when yet, but I'm prepared for it. Rambling a bit but it's late...

I guess many people will understand you here... especially the part about not wanting to die but not wanting to live either. It's a dillema.
I can relate myself to all the postings that have made before on this thread. The world outside scares me, social interactions scare me, I quit my first job/education 2 months after I started it when I was 18 after I finished school (every day has been pure horror) due to anxiety. Since then I'm working part time for ~600€ a month. I had no relationship in my hole life and I'm stuttering sometimes, which makes social interaction even more difficult as it already is.

Hugs to all of you, I can feel you...

Just so you know, I'm older than most of you. I had an amazingly luxurious life but I paid for it first. I was bullied as a kid. I wanted to die. one day I realized I could do things others couldn't. I could see both sides of life, be a chameleon, and understand anyone. I could negotiate, manipulate and get people to do what I wanted in business. .my salary grew and so did my status. As people were cruel to me, I didn't care. I always cane out ahead, but I only got this for 10 years on my way to work another car hit me and that was it. Yes, I had such a beautiful time but it was gone in seconds. I owned a home my father died and my Mother had to pay for me.she became my life I spent an entire year having to be in bed and then, didn't feel like getting out of it. My house began to become run down...I wanted to sell...I still tried to get out but I was in pain. As your mental health deteriorates so does your physical health more so than just painful surgery. My Mother got older. I used her money. It began to run out. It made sense for me to care for her. I left my home to care for her as she began to decline. Maybe or "incomes" could work together? If you don't have your health mental or physical your body can't take it. It became worse.I was a shit care- taker I worried about her and realized I'd need to sell my house. A miracle...her house began to rise in value. I could put the value of mine in her's. The first stroke wasn'tt too bad as I struggled to care for her.Then another but money was in the home. I thought maybe I could live well enough tho survive if I could save. Depressed and ready to die with my Mother when her time came, I worked. My siblings realized I could care for my Mom and wouldn't need to pay for her care. I worried it'd want to kill myself before she died.. .one day I'd wake up and she'd be dead. I planned to kill myself before she was declinng too much. No matter. In days....My family came in. Took the house.took care of my Mother and told me to leave. No time. Just go. Where? I was already going to die for her and found out she was the one who gave the okay to kick me out... No dementia just go. The third stroke just happened. I'm literally half blind. I had my plan and now the drugs...but into the hospital I went faking emotional health. It doesn't sound so bad....but where do I go? I can't work. The most important person stabbed me in my back. I want someone to fucking kill me because I can't do it. I'll fail.Embarrassed to see anyone. Spending the last several years of my life in a home caring for my Mom all day.. No time to sell anything not that I have anything valuable. Food? Water? Cell phone? Homeless. My head back leg hurt. My eye is completely blind. I have A car but it won't run. I can't drive to live in it. I will fail trying to die and my body is worth shit. pain hunger and where duo I go. I can't walk due to disease. From mental disease to physical as your body finally gives into stress. The person I love...I ALSO FUCKING HATE..I found her the best care I could and my family took the rest. She let them. in less than two weeks my belongings sold. My valuables inherited will be sold most I really paid for with the end of My savings. I'll look perfectly healthy. I'll step into the street because I cannot fucking do it. Kill myself. I was ready but failure was not an option. I failed. So sick. I'll never get the drugs for a chance to die if I crack. Scared homeless and must make these new drugs to work perfectly the first time. I had a chance to sue my own Mom but I had no idea how insane I sounded as I became manic from a stroke and humiliated myself. Even here. Maybe another miracle? I'm too old. It's too late. I need to go now.

 

[Swisher]

I wish were all together.

 

[Swisher]

I can relate OP. I'm 32, no job ever. I don't want to depend on my parents forever. I don't really want to put up with the bullshit that comes with getting money from the government either. I've got some debt... not that much but just thinking about it makes me terribly anxious... so I just ignore it. Not the best solution.

I spend my mid and late twenties being really depressed (as opposed to mild depression ever since my early teens). Eventually the really bad depression sort of faded, but I don't feel good about myself and my life at all. I think being depressed for that long has also left me with mood swings.

I've got some options still, but I'm quickly running out. And the pressure that comes with having to succeed in the next three years or so, it being now or never... I'm having a hard time with that. I already know that if things don't work out I'll definitely fall back into depression again. And I don't feel like letting that happen.

I would rather not die, but I am not planning to live a fucked up life forever. At some point it's going to be enough for me. I don't know when yet, but I'm prepared for it. Rambling a bit but it's late...

One thing I knew and kepttelling myself is....I don't have much time I don't habe much time...you're still young. Urea too late for me....not you. It's not

 

[Swisher]

One thing I knew and kepttelling myself is....I don't have much time I don't habe much time...you're still young. Urea too late for me....not you. It's not

Some day I'll have a friggin phone that doesn't incorrectly spell everything!!!

 

[Nofaith]

Where was this site all my life?

Seriously, I honestly thought I was the only one in a f*cked up embarrassing situation. You know things may not have been so bad, if I knew there were others out there with similar circumstances.

I feel like if this was 6 years ago I could turn things around. Right now I'm at the point of no return and things only get worse.

Sometimes I feel if I could correct everything wrong, would I still want to be here?

I don't like society much and I couldn't imagine living in my own world, totally ignoring all the awful things happening right now. Maybe that's because of how I'm wired now.

If I had had been neurotypical, stuff going on around the world, wouldn't bother me so much.

 

[Swisher]

Where was this site all my life?

Seriously, I honestly thought I was the only one in a f*cked up embarrassing situation. You know things may not have been so bad, if I knew there were others out there with similar circumstances.

I feel like if this was 6 years ago I could turn things around. Right now I'm at the point of no return and things only get worse.

Sometimes I feel if I could correct everything wrong, would I still want to be here?

I don't like society much and I couldn't imagine living in my own world, totally ignoring all the awful things happening right now. Maybe that's because of how I'm wired now.

If I had had been neurotypical, stuff going on around the world, wouldn't bother me so much.

Today sucked more than any other EVER...I just made it worse

 

[Nofaith]

Today sucked more than any other EVER...I just made it worse

What happened (if you want to talk about it)?

 

[Lizzie S.]

My body is completely fucked from my last attempt, it's unbearable. I don't even want to die anymore like I did before but I don't want to live in this fucked up body.

 

[Swisher]

What happened (if you want to talk about it)?

That's nice of you to ask! Really. You've given me more consideration than I've felt in years. I feel so sick. I didn't get Zofran for nothing - in case anyone wants some. I'm sorry I missed this! I'm sorry for you that I must vent and my cell won't work. Typos Galore, but thank you!
I'm living in a very nice place, but I'm also disabled...it's physical, but you wouldn't know unless I told you. Who am I kidding? I'm also fucked up. I chose to stop working and take care of my Mother as She began falling and breaking everything. My family realized it was cheaper to let me care for her than put her away in some home. I've cared for her since my father died decades ago as a kid & the youngest, but recently I became a stay- at- home- daughter. Somehow my family met in secret and executed a plan. I was completely blindsided? That's normal, right? They removed my Mother a few months ago. They started tossing things and asked to know if I wanted my things??? Huh?...um...No. You keep them. I'll walk around naked and use a tin cup attached to a string as a cell phone. I had to get out. Luckily, I had my own home...obviously, already planning to leave this world when Mom did, I thought I'd wait at MY house. I could still care for her from there. Oooo...They also excuted a plan to relieve me of that. I'm homeless and got no notice. Sure it's illegal. I wasn't aware of the Speedy time-frame. all of a sudden I've days to pack up and go nowhere. Needless to say, I was hospitalized at the time and had to leave "AMA" which apparently means - against medical advice. I'm learning a lot of new things! Today my Mother returned from her latest "abduction"...there are eight of them - only one of me. Collusion? She agrees. With them. I was badgered repeatedly about moving and being insolent, intransigent
..many things that begin with the letter "I". I will need to purchase a new "Funk andWWagnalls". After repeatedly agreeing to do as they asked, they continued to repeatedly ask as I repeatedly agreed. Yes. Really. I finally decided that I would threaten to call the police because I have one thing they don't have and that's "residency"... not thinking I'd ever do that, but they continued to scream and yell. Yep, the police were called. why not? it was fun but my brother said "this isn't Jerry Springer"...well, they sort of made it seem that way. I'm only waiting for the most incredible wrath which I'm sure will include all sorts of psychological evaluations and attorneys they can afford . I couldn't help myself! I just returned from the hospital and if they read their emails they would have known I've answered every question and acquiesced. Oh well, we'll go to Court, spend money to prosecute me while my Mother suffers...but I didn't want to barf on my sister ( yes I did). They needed to read the emails and let me recuperate as per doctor's orders. They didn't ask me how I was feeling or anyting like you did.. so nice of you - not joking. I feel I have no Outlet at all something I'm sure everyone feels too. So please shoot me. I'm exhausted.
You get like... 50 trillion human-being points. I hope this makes sense I can't thank you enough

 

[Swisher]

My body is completely fucked from my last attempt, it's unbearable. I don't even want to die anymore like I did before but I don't want to live in this fucked up body.

NOW that I really get. Stupid body

 

[Swisher]

I guess many people will understand you here... especially the part about not wanting to die but not wanting to live either. It's a dillema.
I can relate myself to all the postings that have made before on this thread. The world outside scares me, social interactions scare me, I quit my first job/education 2 months after I started it when I was 18 after I finished school (every day has been pure horror) due to anxiety. Since then I'm working part time for ~600€ a month. I had no relationship in my hole life and I'm stuttering sometimes, which makes social interaction even more difficult as it already is.

Hugs to all of you, I can feel you...

Thanks for hugs, I'm going to take one too

 

[Nofaith]

That's nice of you to ask! Really. You've given me more consideration than I've felt in years. I feel so sick. I didn't get Zofran for nothing - in case anyone wants some. I'm sorry I missed this! I'm sorry for you that I must vent and my cell won't work. Typos Galore, but thank you!
I'm living in a very nice place, but I'm also disabled...it's physical, but you wouldn't know unless I told you. Who am I kidding? I'm also fucked up. I chose to stop working and take care of my Mother as She began falling and breaking everything. My family realized it was cheaper to let me care for her than put her away in some home. I've cared for her since my father died decades ago as a kid & the youngest, but recently I became a stay- at- home- daughter. Somehow my family met in secret and executed a plan. I was completely blindsided? That's normal, right? They removed my Mother a few months ago. They started tossing things and asked to know if I wanted my things??? Huh?...um...No. You keep them. I'll walk around naked and use a tin cup attached to a string as a cell phone. I had to get out. Luckily, I had my own home...obviously, already planning to leave this world when Mom did, I thought I'd wait at MY house. I could still care for her from there. Oooo...They also excuted a plan to relieve me of that. I'm homeless and got no notice. Sure it's illegal. I wasn't aware of the Speedy time-frame. all of a sudden I've days to pack up and go nowhere. Needless to say, I was hospitalized at the time and had to leave "AMA" which apparently means - against medical advice. I'm learning a lot of new things! Today my Mother returned from her latest "abduction"...there are eight of them - only one of me. Collusion? She agrees. With them. I was badgered repeatedly about moving and being insolent, intransigent
..many things that begin with the letter "I". I will need to purchase a new "Funk andWWagnalls". After repeatedly agreeing to do as they asked, they continued to repeatedly ask as I repeatedly agreed. Yes. Really. I finally decided that I would threaten to call the police because I have one thing they don't have and that's "residency"... not thinking I'd ever do that, but they continued to scream and yell. Yep, the police were called. why not? it was fun but my brother said "this isn't Jerry Springer"...well, they sort of made it seem that way. I'm only waiting for the most incredible wrath which I'm sure will include all sorts of psychological evaluations and attorneys they can afford . I couldn't help myself! I just returned from the hospital and if they read their emails they would have known I've answered every question and acquiesced. Oh well, we'll go to Court, spend money to prosecute me while my Mother suffers...but I didn't want to barf on my sister ( yes I did). They needed to read the emails and let me recuperate as per doctor's orders. They didn't ask me how I was feeling or anyting like you did.. so nice of you - not joking. I feel I have no Outlet at all something I'm sure everyone feels too. So please shoot me. I'm exhausted.
You get like... 50 trillion human-being points. I hope this makes sense I can't thank you enough

Wait let me get this straight they want you out of your own home? And by they you mean your siblings?

 

[Swisher]

Wait let me get this straight they want you out of your own home? And by they you mean your siblings?

Yes. And we agreed id care for my Mother forever....until. She will go into a nursing home and i,??? Scared sick. I suppose a lot of us are. Who are you? You really are duo caring

 

[Nofaith]

Yes. And we agreed id care for my Mother forever....until. She will go into a nursing home and i,??? Scared sick. I suppose a lot of us are. Who are you? You really are duo caring

Erm thanks :)

How are they able to do that legally and what's in it for them?

 

[Swisher]

Erm thanks :)

How are they able to do that legally and what's in it for them?

I had no idea to What extent they planned to control me. I called attorney after attorney. They will do what my Mother wants. She wants whatever the last person tells her. If She says I. a court "my daughter needs help and She can't take care of me". That will be it.
Oh my God....pounding I the door...

And I never pressed "post reply"

its like to say, "I give up"
I think I'm beyond that!
I'm sorry & more sorry I Gabe them a second of my time...frankly, I kind of needed you...to vent!!! even tho we met
Um....just now?

 

[Swisher]

I'd*
Gave*
In a court*
On the door*
No ottocorrect*

 

[Nofaith]

I had no idea to What extent they planned to control me. I called attorney after attorney. They will do what my Mother wants. She wants whatever the last person tells her. If She says I. a court "my daughter needs help and She can't take care of me". That will be it.
Oh my God....pounding I the door...

And I never pressed "post reply"

its like to say, "I give up"
I think I'm beyond that!
I'm sorry & more sorry I Gabe them a second of my time...frankly, I kind of needed you...to vent!!! even tho we met
Um....just now?

No need to apologise. If you need to vent, then vent. PM me anytime.

 

[Swisher]

Thank you. Really. I may PM...ty

 

[Swisher]

What happened (if you want to talk about it)?

Oh! ...how sweet...I just now saw this. Thank you. My life is tragic. I try not to think about it. Again, thank you

 

[Swisher]

Oh! ...how sweet...I just now saw this. Thank you. My life is tragic. I try not to think about it. Again, thank you

I'm really blind to how long you stick with me. Very very out of it.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

This topic was like one of my very first posts. Brings back memories of those dark days... oh wait I'm still living them.