Venting I don't quite know how I feel

[blank_slab]

Things have happened recently I've gotten broken up with kinda sucks but it's happened a million times before so who really cares, I'm starting to care less and less emotionally kinda like a blank slate sometimes (funny I know) but when people talk to me I'll just lose myself and just become emotionless and it weirds them out, I don't really know who I am before I'm always acting in front of others I kinda have a character for each person and it's gotten to the point where I don't even know which one is me anymore is it the one who want's to wear suits and go to a nice diner or the one who wants to wear Hawaiian shirts and risk my life doing stupid stuff. It's funny because my few friends don't know eachother at all so they all see me as different people some know me as the suit man some know me as the drunkard. I don't really want to live anymore but I do sometimes have moments of enjoyment so I can't die yet and I still haven't finished all my business so yeah there's that. I'm tired of it all but I guess I still go just to see what dumb stuff I do next because I get so caught up in the moment I never think of my actions and later on I'll reflect on what I did and hate myself for it because I was just trying to be another person. thanks for reading this dumb stuff sorry fir the long read and thank you to anyone who has any sort of interest in whatever dumb stuff I vent about, feel free to dm me for fun or what not I love you guys

 

[MrDarkness]

I know the feeling, I act completely different then how I actually am, but the mask is slowly fading, I don't have the energy to continue