Venting I don't like who I am

[shortbloom]

I don't like the person I am, and as much as I try to change, it seems like an impossible task. I don't have a passion for anything. I can't genuinely connect with other people. I don't really want anything. I'd rather be nothing - just not exist - but making that happen is so hard to do as well. I don't understand why it all has to be so hard. I don't know if I believe in a higher power, but if there is one, I just want to know what is wrong with me, or what I'm doing wrong to feel like this all of the time.

 

[JimFord99]

Maybe there is nothing at all wrong with you. What makes you think there is?

 

[pole]

I don't like the person I am, and as much as I try to change, it seems like an impossible task. I don't have a passion for anything. I can't genuinely connect with other people. I don't really want anything. I'd rather be nothing - just not exist - but making that happen is so hard to do as well. I don't understand why it all has to be so hard. I don't know if I believe in a higher power, but if there is one, I just want to know what is wrong with me, or what I'm doing wrong to feel like this all of the time.

i get it, the lack of energy, drive, willpower. why even try and change if theres that same outcome over and over again.

why even try and change or get better when we could just stay like this and keep drowning ourselves in sadness and eventually ctb.

sometimes theres people, or things, that ignite this drive and energy. for me, recently, it was support systems such as really close friends. i was like you for MONTHS, cause i wanted to ctb this summer. but im delaying it for now in the hopes of TRYING to get better.

i'm sorry you feel this way. if you ever need anyone to talk to, were all ears; dont be afraid to stop by in chat.

 

[Mr2005]

Can't say I'm a big fan of myself. For example went to the shop before and asked if they had deodorant. She said they hadn't and I said about the worst thing I could say "I meant for you" . Ouch. I meant that's a shame because I stink but instead that crap comes out and I look like a cunt

 

[Doomcat]

I am so sorry you feel this way. I *think* I am am an okay enough person on the inside. I love animals, have passions, and adore my friends. But I hate my outward appearance so much that I can't stand myself. I swear I'm not shallow. I don't judge others this way. But I get the self loathing, nonetheless. Sometimes I can't stand the idea of living in this body anymore and that makes me feel worse because I know it's a stupid reason to want to CBT. I'm the one thing that is unacceptable to me. So I get where you are coming from.

In your case, it sounds like the depression talking. You are more than that, and I hope someday you find a reason to like yourself at least a little. You aren't bad, you're just suffering :(

 

[Donewith_]

Me too