- Nov 16, 2020
I can't keep going like this, every day is a nightmare, I need to die, I am just scared of it not working or being brain damaged. My daughter is suffering because of my suffering. I can't bear it. I stay in bed all day, hardly interact with my daughter, thinking about death constantly. All I keep thinking is I need to die. Nothing and no one helps. I am completely alone, even when someone has been there for me, I've pushed them away, even though I wanted them to stay. Story of my life. I can't deal with myself anymore. I need the suffering to end. I'm scared but it has to end. I want to ctb this weekend while my daughter is with her dad. I hope I can do it. The world will honestly be a better place without me.