I think I have finally hit my limit. I have nothing left to give and nothing left to give it for. In a few weeks I am going to have to move out of the short term facility I am at.... While another facility is willing to interview me.... I have to interview against someone else. While I don't know that other's business he gives me strong child molester vibes... I had planned on CTBing when I got here and a combination of the store I went to not having rope and them being nice led me to delay it. Now that I am moving and had more time for society to not help I give up. I have begged everywhere I can for help and no one cares or will do anything. I truly believe people like to me suffer. The fact I am broke and cannot get even a decent job despite working my ass off in life... I have a degree I was in medical school and nothing.... I lost everything because I was the victim of a crime. The fact society sees me on the same level as him despite not doing anything wrong and just being a victim of a crime society just ignored... Hell I'll probably not even get in if I tried... I just don't want to interview it's an insult and so I won't... Maybe I'll ride it out here or skip town I don't know.... I feel like I should just CTB or live on the street/die of exposure. Clearly it is what society wants. I'm not on drugs, I don't drink in excess and rarely do so, I am just broke and someone society would rather mock then help. I wish I was it would be an excuse for why I am treated like shit.... Frankly, I was told I have to give a urine sample as well and while I get the point of it. It's also an insult. I'm not on drugs it's just another piece of my dignity that is being eroded by the world another piece of me that is gone.... Another sign of just how much of a piece of shit society sees me as... Once it comes back clean it won't matter. No one will see me any different... I'm just broken and depressed because I have been universally rejected from society. Society despite having rules and laws has deemed me as someone not protected by them. I am literally nothing to the world. Not worthy of protection or help. Just a shitstain on the world. Why continue to fight?
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