Venting I don't know when I'll die

[Kurushii]

I don't know when I'll try to CTB. I've tried several times before in the past but those clearly didn't work. The next time I'll try, I'll succeed. But until then, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't want to put effort into fixing my life if I'll be gone anyway, so I won't. I am not interested in a painful life with insufficient relief. I never was. I want to make the most out of this sentience I'll (hopefully) never experience again. When the time comes where I can no longer bear living and I feel ready to go, whenever it comes, I'll start making the preperations. And no matter when that day comes, Ill always be ready to leave.

(sorry if my sentences are choppy, I can't think very well)

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings are very much understandable. I wish you the best and I hope that when the time is right for you to leave, you find freedom from your suffering.

 

[krxbs]

i'm sorry you're hurting like this. for what it's worth, until you decide to go, you won't have to suffer alone. take care, kurushii.