I don't know what to do.....

[avoid_slow_death]

Sitting here waiting to go into work and personally, I just want to leave, go back to where I am staying, grab my SN and go disappear into the forest and take it.

No, this is not an impulse decision either. This has been weighing heavily on my mind past few weeks. I just have not because I know it will destroy at least two people Icare for....what to do....

I don't know. I guess I just need to vent or scream or I don't know what I need....help me....

 

[Thiopentone31]

I can relate. You want to leave and stop the consciousness but at the same time you don't wanna hurt people you care of. And maybe there's a part of you that would like to live if things were different. That's hard to make the choice.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Sitting here waiting to go into work and personally, I just want to leave, go back to where I am staying, grab my SN and go disappear into the forest and take it.

No, this is not an impulse decision either. This has been weighing heavily on my mind past few weeks. I just have not because I know it will destroy at least two people Icare for....what to do....

I don't know. I guess I just need to vent or scream or I don't know what I need....help me....

I'm very suicidal.

However, I'm a bit different from you as I tend to act upon my plans/fantasies.

If it's something you really want to do, you will eventually do it.

 

[WornOutLife]

I feel as helpless as you from time to time.

Just try to do your best and endure the hard punches this goddamn life is giving you and don't do anything impulsively.
We can always ctb "tomorrow".

Anyway, hope you can feel better soon.

Hugs bro,

Matt

 

[NothingElseMatters]

I feel the same, just want this to be over, but at the same time, I'm just a really "caring" guy.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Maybe tomorrow.....I have the next two days off after and nobody will come looking for me until after then.....

 

[DoodleBug]

Had 6 days of work last week including sunday, coming back to the gutter tommorow. The need to disappear into the forest is close to me, since its the only environment where I feel at least 5% alive. Finding those little moments of quiet before work is my defense mechanism, but its never as easy as to just sit down and simply be ok. My need to ctb intensifies to an indigestible degree while I'm leaving the train before my shift. 3 consecutive cigarettes come in and SN looms forever closer. There's nothing that sounds more desirable than to just take SN on my favorite smoking/stashing spot in the forest where Im sure not to be found until the deed is done.

If you can, don't do anything on impulse. If the final straw is way too severe, make sure to avoid unnecessary suffering. I hope you manage to cope and stay safe : c