I don't know what to do

[crybaby]

I live in a hotel now. I have sn and other medicines I need But I am too scared. I think I really don't want to die, but I will continue to be abused by my family after I go home. And i don't have money to buy food anymore

At the same time, my boyfriend kept persuading me not to ctb.
I really love him and I really want to live with him. The sad thing is that we are in different countries. He is a college student. He told me that after he finds a job and starts earning money, he will help me leave my family and immigrate to his country, but it may take 3 to 4 years. I can't wait too long

 

[bad luck]

I am deeply sorry for what you are going through. If you are really sure, no one will judge you here, and if you are not, there is always more time. I am reaching levels of poverty that make me want CTB every day.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.

 

[crybaby]

Why am I so scared? Can someone encourage me to ctb

 

[bad luck]

Unfortunately I cannot encourage anyone to commit suicide. Just being here with a virtual hand. The survival instinct is very strong in almost all species.

Think of it as something irreversible if it works 100%.

Whatever you decide, we will be here.

 

[SadJessu]

I can empathize. My boyfriend whom I love dearly, lives in the UK and it's so hard to be apart, especially not knowing when the next time we'll be able to see each other due to the travel bans. My family is also incredibly controlling, as if I'm an extension of my parents and not an independent person. I'm from a well off background and that makes me feel so guilty.

But enough about me. The fact that you're on the fence about ctb is a red flag, never rush into decisions like this! If your home life is an abusive one where you do not feel safe I encourage you to seek shelter someplace else. Surely there is a community home or women's shelter in your area?

 

[bloomingdark]

I am deeply sorry, :c seems like you are going to so much,and happening to be alone and in this position is really stressful, we can talk if you won't, we can't encourage you, that's not or position to be in sweetheart, but we can talk to you and listen, whatever you decide I hope you have peace.

I'm going to lift a candle for your well being and inner peace.


Lots of love.

A

 

[aminend]

survival instinct has been installed on our mind to keep our life in every fucking situation. I'm trying to defeat that every day

 

[crybaby]

thank you all. Your comments made me feel better.

Does anyone know how to overcome SI. I have been crying in bed for 5 hours and still have no courage to start drinking sn

 

[shattered dreams]

thank you all. Your comments made me feel better.

Does anyone know how to overcome SI. I have been crying in bed for 5 hours and still have no courage to start drinking sn

Personally, I have only been in the right mind to ctb when I was really drunk or really high. I definitely could not do it sober. Being drunk was the best as it would make me suicidal as well. Now I am too sick to do either as my body rejects both of them, so I am stuck living for now.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I empathise. I'm not sure where you live, but are there any refuges, shelters or domestic violence lines where you are? I can't in good conscience encourage someone to die, as you are requesting. But I'm here if I can support you and if there's anything I can do to help

 

[demuic]

I think you should wait until you're in a better mindset. I think you will know if and when it's time. You shouldn't do it if you are not completely sure. You can't come back but you could always decide to CTB later. I wish you well.

 

[WornOutLife]

If you're not 100% sure and scared, don't do it.
Death is patiently waiting for all of us. You can always try to ctb another day.

Wish you the best and hope things get better somehow.

Hugs

 

[crybaby]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I empathise. I'm not sure where you live, but are there any refuges, shelters or domestic violence lines where you are? I can't in good conscience encourage someone to die, as you are requesting. But I'm here if I can support you and if there's anything I can do to help

They only help me rent a room and force me to work 10 to 12 hours a day for 6 days a week to pay the rent.My physical and mental state is not good. So I can't work for a long time

 

[bad luck]

thank you all. Your comments made me feel better.

Does anyone know how to overcome SI. I have been crying in bed for 5 hours and still have no courage to start drinking sn

Something similar happens to me, only now I am on medical leave for a few weeks. Believe me that I feel you in the deepest

 

[Into The Void]

I live in a hotel now. I have sn and other medicines I need But I am too scared. I think I really don't want to die, but I will continue to be abused by my family after I go home. And i don't have money to buy food anymore

At the same time, my boyfriend kept persuading me not to ctb.
I really love him and I really want to live with him. The sad thing is that we are in different countries. He is a college student. He told me that after he finds a job and starts earning money, he will help me leave my family and immigrate to his country, but it may take 3 to 4 years. I can't wait too long

None of us should tell you to CTB. It's really up to you as to what the best decision is.

 

[crybaby]

I am crying now. I don't want to die, but I don't want to go home either. The best choice for me is to drink sn now

 

[bad luck]

I am crying now. I don't want to die, but I don't want to go home either. The best choice for me is to drink sn now

Forgive me if it's too personal a question. Would coming home be worse than CTB? you don't have something to calm your nerves. I'll be around whatever you decide. Although my English is bad and I always have to use a translator

 

[Into The Void]

I am crying now. I don't want to die, but I don't want to go home either. The best choice for me is to drink sn now

Don't feel like you have to do this impulsively. Give it a little bit of time to really contemplate it.

 

[Everybody_yells]

I agree with what people are telling you here. If you are having second thoughts, maybe today is not the day to ctb. I understand the plight you face with going back home, and probably you must have reached the brim to have been thinking this through at a hotel room. But to be fair, I don't think the time has come for you right now.

Perhaps you could find refuge in a care home or someone you are close with in your city. But please don't despair yet.

Sending warm hugs !

 

[Bat 17]

If you don't want to die you definitely should not CTB today. You've been given some good options in the other posts above, you should take a bit of time to decide what's best. There might be alternatives you haven't considered yet.

 

[purple꿈]

I'm sorry you had to deal with such hardships. I can't encourage you to ctb however I can lend you a helping hand with venting or ranting to someone.

if you seriously feel like you don't want to die yet then please don't force yourself. give yourself some time to think and contemplate. it's best to ctb at the right time where you're at a better mindset and you don't feel much guilt about doing it.

I wish the best for you bub. I hope everything will be better for you soon :((

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

I am sorry you're in a controlling abusive environment. Just know people are here if you want to speak about it or anything.

 

[Rolliewoo]

Oh what a terrible situation for you :( we're all here to listen to you....you're not alone ❤❤