I dont know what to do

[RevolutionaryRed]

I was really suicidal for about 3 years, 3 years of just nonstop depression, self hatred and harm . 2 months ago I attempted suicide, I failed(obvs)

Ever since then, I've been taking anti depressants. I think these pills changed me because the thought of me killing myself is there but it's super unattractive to me. But then again, my life is still complete shit.

Basically, I dont wanna kill myself, but then again , I dont wanna live

Anyone else feel the same ?

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

I was really suicidal for about 3 years, 3 years of just nonstop depression, self hatred and harm . 2 months ago I attempted suicide, I failed(obvs)

Ever since then, I've been taking anti depressants. I think these pills changed me because the thought of me killing myself is there but it's super unattractive to me. But then again, my life is still complete shit.

Basically, I dont wanna kill myself, but then again , I dont wanna live

Anyone else feel the same ?

i have treatment resistant depression. drugs do not work.

 

[PatKat]

I was really suicidal for about 3 years, 3 years of just nonstop depression, self hatred and harm . 2 months ago I attempted suicide, I failed(obvs)

Ever since then, I've been taking anti depressants. I think these pills changed me because the thought of me killing myself is there but it's super unattractive to me. But then again, my life is still complete shit.

Basically, I dont wanna kill myself, but then again , I dont wanna live

Anyone else feel the same ?

Yes the meds I take take the drive to kill myself away. I still want to die that will always be there.

 

[PatKat]

i have treatment resistant depression. drugs do not work.

Same here :/ they are wanting me to try ECT idk about it though...

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Same here :/ they are wanting me to try ECT idk about it though...

I have gotten ECT. you may pm me if you like to chat about it.

 

[PatKat]

I have gotten ECT. you may pm me if you like to chat about it.

I will do that thank you for letting me know since you have been through it.

 

[Ben]

I was really suicidal for about 3 years, 3 years of just nonstop depression, self hatred and harm . 2 months ago I attempted suicide, I failed(obvs)

Ever since then, I've been taking anti depressants. I think these pills changed me because the thought of me killing myself is there but it's super unattractive to me. But then again, my life is still complete shit.

Basically, I dont wanna kill myself, but then again , I dont wanna live

Anyone else feel the same ?

My experience with pills, they didn't clear the fog, they increased it. They didn't give me the answers I was looking for, they made me stop caring about the questions. It makes you feel empty inside. It was like i was just wandering around waiting to die away, void of any stimulation.

Sometimes that void is better then what you're dealing with, having full consciousness...but I didn't like it at all. Made me feel less human.

 

[InkBlot]

Ive been on a cocktail of stuff since I was 12. Most of them are designed to make the waves smaller, and keep a median. Your base thoughts will remain, but it'll be so numb, it won't matter.
Or like zoloft did to me, and put me into autopilot for hours or days at a time.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Ive been on a cocktail of stuff since I was 12. Most of them are designed to make the waves smaller, and keep a median. Your base thoughts will remain, but it'll be so numb, it won't matter.
Or like zoloft did to me, and put me into autopilot for hours or days at a time.

topamax , depakote, every ssri maoi got ect and my functional memory went bye bye

 

[InkBlot]

topamax , depakote, every ssri maoi got ect and my functional memory went bye bye

Yup, a seperate doctor asked me if I knew what early onset alzheimers was, and if I was aware I have several symptoms. Thankfully they've abated quite a bit since I began taking experimental supplements for exercise.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Yup, a seperate doctor asked me if I knew what early onset alzheimers was, and if I was aware I have several symptoms. Thankfully they've abated quite a bit since I began taking experimental supplements for exercise.

experimental supplements for exercise??

 

[InkBlot]

experimental supplements for exercise??

The link between brain health, and muscle health is proven. Ive taken SARMS, and gained both mental and physical strength. My brain is nearly back to where I was pre ativan suicide and all the ssris

 

[RevolutionaryRed]

My experience with pills, they didn't clear the fog, they increased it. They didn't give me the answers I was looking for, they made me stop caring about the questions. It makes you feel empty inside. It was like i was just wandering around waiting to die away, void of any stimulation.

Sometimes that void is better then what you're dealing with, having full consciousness...but I didn't like it at all. Made me feel less human.

This is exactly how I feel.

Like idek what to do . I'm just so confused

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

The link between brain health, and muscle health is proven. Ive taken SARMS, and gained both mental and physical strength. My brain is nearly back to where I was pre ativan suicide and all the ssris

no shit.......

 

[Wantingpeace]

The link between brain health, and muscle health is proven. Ive taken SARMS, and gained both mental and physical strength. My brain is nearly back to where I was pre ativan suicide and all the ssris

What is that? Have never heard of muscle health and brain health. Heard of connection between gut and brain health

 

[RM5998]

What is that? Have never heard of muscle health and brain health. Heard of connection between gut and brain health

The muscle connection is based on dopamine, the digestion one on serotonin.

NOTE: Cardio produces increased serotonin when done to the point of exhaustion, and dopamine when done in moderate amounts.