I don't know how to say goodbye to my loved ones

[ueo]

How am I supposed to tell my parents that I'm taking their only child away from them? I'm so empty. I'm so ready to ctb, but I'm all my mother really has. Writing a note doesn't feel right.

I honestly just feel so selfish. Does anyone else get what I mean? How do you manage to overcome it?

 

[Worndown]

SI is not the only thing keeping us here.
I hope you find a way.

 

[September Salt]

I totally get it. When mine was alive, I ruled out CTB because I knew it would devastate her. She has since passed, so I'm more willing to do it. (my reluctance to hurt my remaining family is pretty strong but not as strong as my reluctance to hurt her.)

So I can't advise you on how to overcome it because I never did. Maybe you can find a solution to your problems that doesn't involve CTB? Or at least can you delay it until she's older, so she'll be in pain for a shorter time before she dies herself?

Sorry for not being more supportive about your plan. I just feel really protective of moms. Good luck finding a solution.

 

[jitendrabagaria786@]

How am I supposed to tell my parents that I'm taking their only child away from them? I'm so empty. I'm so ready to ctb, but I'm all my mother really has. Writing a note doesn't feel right.

I honestly just feel so selfish. Does anyone else get what I mean? How do you manage to overcome it?

I'm in same situation it's hard to leave behind mother

 

[ueo]

I'm in same situation it's hard to leave behind mother

I hear you. I'm sorry it's come to this, for the both of us.

 

[toseeyousmile]

What I've been doing is that I've been trying to slowly fade away from people's lives so that when I do ctb the impact won't be as bad as if I was too involved in their life. Though this is just realistically impossible for some situations so I have to just play around some anchors/safety nets that will take my place once I do ctb if at all possible, since I feel as it'd be too cruel to just leave them alone after being so involved and depended on in their lives.

 

[ueo]

What I've been doing is that I've been trying to slowly fade away from people's lives so that when I do ctb the impact won't be as bad as if I was too involved in their life. Though this is just realistically impossible for some situations so I have to just play around some anchors/safety nets that will take my place once I do ctb if at all possible, since I feel as it'd be too cruel to just leave them alone after being so involved and depended on in their lives.

With my friends, I've done this too. I've mostly faded from their lives now. Sometimes I feel badly about it, but I also feel as if this will be easier for all of us once I'm gone.

I'm so sorry life has brought you to this point.

 

[jitendrabagaria786@]

Fading away yes, I think from past four months i haven't talked or met any friends or relatives except my mom,, I've basically become a ghost

 

[Euthanza]

You don't want and you can't live a life for yourself, but can you live for your mother? idk if the question is fair enough for all your circumstances... only you know it.
How old are you and your mom, if you don't mind telling?

 

[FuneralCry]

Personally I don't see it as a good idea to tell others about wanting to ctb. We live in a world where suicide is so stigmatised and our right to die is not respected. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. It must be really hard what you are going through.

I just wish that euthanasia is legal and then we could tell others about our decision in advance and then they would have time to come to terms with it and then we could just exit peacefully. I hope that in whatever happens, you find relief from your suffering.

 

[Faaye]

u have the option of not tell them.

I guess if you just do it could be easier to accept. you can try to let your phone unlocked, just to show what did you go through.. when you feel that is the right time, just say goodbye by yourself. youre doing the best for you.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

How am I supposed to tell my parents that I'm taking their only child away from them? I'm so empty. I'm so ready to ctb, but I'm all my mother really has. Writing a note doesn't feel right.

I honestly just feel so selfish. Does anyone else get what I mean? How do you manage to overcome it?

I totally get it. The first time I attempted, images of my mother at my funeral rushed through my head. I'm the only child of a single mother. She's devoted her life to me. Losing me will be hard enough. But the torment of her thoughts as she ponders what it was she did that led me to suicide will be a personal hell for her. It doesn't matter that she has nothing to do with my decision. She will always feel some sense of responsibility. That's just who she is.

I'm trying to deal with it by setting her up for my loss. It has been more than two years since my first attempt. She is aware of my state of mind and is aware that I would prefer to die. Of course, she finds this concerning and does not like it at all. But she is content knowing that I am struggling through and carrying on. Still, she knows that I am in pain. My hope is that when I finally do leave, she will see it as a peaceful end to my suffering. I hope that will lessen the blow slightly for her.

 

[theboy]

I understand you very much. Saying goodbye to family is very hard. I'm still thinking about making a suicide note or not. Maybe I'll just leave a mini note so that they don't feel so overwhelmed by not knowing more reasons for my dismissal.

 

[veryhappyhuman]

I think a good % of us are still around because of the same reason. I'm in the same boat too. I try to convince myself ctb-ing is better, by visualizing the inevitable future (or in other words, scaring myself of the future) -- sick parents slowly and painfully dying with me unable to help, my own possible future illnesses/disabilities, the option to commit suicide disappearing etc etc.

But I still haven't been successful. My SN is literally sitting in front of me. So close yet so far!

 

[Hiraeth Grimoire]

I share your suffering fellow Voiding. I do not know how to write a note to my family either. I am thinking I will write something clean, to the point, and only a page long. I don't want to give too many details that would upset them more than is necessary. I hope that you can find peace with your decision as well, and the Void welcomes us with mercy.

 

[obafgkm]

How am I supposed to tell my parents that I'm taking their only child away from them? I'm so empty. I'm so ready to ctb, but I'm all my mother really has. Writing a note doesn't feel right.

I honestly just feel so selfish. Does anyone else get what I mean? How do you manage to overcome it?

If there is someone you love, there is a reason to live on. Suffering is meaningful if it fulfills your goal, or your love. If you think your mother is important, you really should think about her feelings.

 

[FogFilledLife]

You don't have to tell them. You likely won't have to see their reaction, you simply want to explain yourself knowing you'll never know if they understand, likey knowing they won't.

As long as your justification is justified to you, you shouldn't care what others make of it.

If you must explain, explain to yourself and put that into writing if you must.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Don't overthink it. I have struggled with this in the past, and ended up writing a short impersonal note (paragraph) that purely reflects on my reason(s), with 'I'm sorry' at the end. You'll make it more difficult by trying to ameliorate any potential pain caused to them.