It sounds like you're currently being abused by your father and that it's affecting your sense of self-worth and general mental health. I've been there as well, and it's good you recognize it's not depression because a lot of mental health professionals have sent me down the wrong road telling me that's what I have. SLS or "Shitty Life Syndrome" (not a real condition just a joke to express my frustration) will look a lot like depression, anxiety, or other issues. There's nothing wrong with you, you're just around someone who makes you feel like garbage.
When I was still forced to live with my abusive parents 2 major things helped me survive.
1.) Planning a new life outside this one
When you're stuck in a bad life situation with a cruel parent, partner, finances, or anything, try and find a way out of the situation. Once your life is less awful, you'll likely feel better as a result, or at the very least find yourself in a better enough situation where you can try and work through your pain. Ask yourself what kind of life you'd like to live and take steps (even tiny steps) towards that goal. If that means never hearing your father say awful things again: try and work towards financial independence with things like job hunting, applying for disability benefits, getting a roommate to live with, etc. Just the knowledge you've done something, no matter how small, can help you feel more in control when you're living a crappy life.
2.) Keeping in mind your abuser is full of shit
When you're constantly being told a bunch of fucked up shit, you feel like shit as a result. It's good to keep in mind the person saying horrible things is most likely going through horrible emotions themselves and isn't being kind enough to put forth the effort to be a decent person to those around them. Even if some of the things they say are true, it's like a broken clock being right twice a day, they're being incredibly negative and cruel and what they think of you is complete nonsense. You can do a few things to combat this:
Minimize your time spent with the abuser. Try spending time away from them, if it's just going for long walks, or hanging out at the library, the park, or hiding in your room, the less time you spent being told fucked up shit, you'll feel a little less shitty.
Maximize time with people who aren't awful to you. If you have any friends or family members who don't insult you and say awful things, spend more time with them to remind your brain other people disagree with what your father is saying, and that you have good qualities as well.
It's important to remember that even doing everything right and logically understanding that you'll be in a better place soon, or you aren't all those nasty things your father says about you, you'll still feel pretty bad because even if it's all nonsense, it feels beyond horrible to be verbally berated. Sorry you have to put up with your father being awful to you, no one deserves that kind of treatment. I hope you can find your peace soon, whatever it may be.
