Venting I don’t know how people can do this for 50+ years.

[SomedayorNexttime]

A part of me, a very tiny one, wants to make it to at least 50 before I take myself out of the game. Why? I want to know what the future is like. It won't be anything impressive except maybe some moderately cool technology, but I still wonder what it would be like. I want to laugh with other people about future jokes and see what big events come to pass.

But I'd have to do this shit for 30 more years.

I don't know how people do this for that long. Nothing happens most of the time and if you have no life then it's torture. If I stayed for another 30 then I would have to be poor and alone up until a decade before retirement, which I don't think I'll ever retire anyway. I'd have to do this all alone for three more decades straight just to see what? I don't even know what'll happen other than maybe economic collapse and worldwide ruin and a cool video game. I don't even care to see 30
at this point. I'm tired and I know my life will suck. 2055 will just be me rotting with a slightly better computer and a worse home with no family.

I am going to ask any person here above, let's say, the age of 30. How did you do it? And if you're 50, HOW? What helped you pass all that time?

 

[Pale_Rider]

Hope. Once that dies all is lost.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Ha ha- I like your summary of life/ the future... Lots of bad shit with maybe one cool video game. Seems kind of likely.

Reminds me of that scene in 'Austin Powers' when he's trying to convince his girlfriend to travel into the future and miss a few decades:



I'm 45. I got through it because I felt obliged to mainly. I've had ideation since I was 10 but I always wanted to wait for my Dad to go first.

I suppose I was sort of 'lucky' in that best part of my life, I was focussed on getting and maintaining a creative job. That has taken up a lot of time. Most of life has just been about working to ensure things get no worse really.

I feel ready to go though. I don't want to watch AI descimate everything. After my Dad, it will only really be fear holding me back.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Imo someone would have to be heavily programmed to want to be slave for 90 years in this hell doing the same garbage every day , suffering, working all day a job and tedious chores , risking extreme torture, and never asking " why am i doing all this hard work every damn day dealing with problems for what reason?"

Why doesn't anyone ever talk about any of these things and more: 1. the extreme suffering that can happen to any human any day, 2. how bad the worst pain is 3. That we are all going to die anyway.4 why do i have to work all day a job and do chores deal with problems every day for what reason? . 5. No one talks about suicide or Death 6. How bad old age is. 7 about the many horrible things that can happen to a human diseases disabilities accidents attacks. 8 . Much more

Its also mind boggling to me that many say 90 years of this hell oppression injustice work diseases excruciating pain , scams , lies, is not enough that they wish for afterlives or reincarnation trillions of more years of existence.

I don't even want a minute a second more of existence. Non-existence forever is the ultimate bliss

 

[darksouls]

my hope for better times has only brought me more pain and suffer
unfortunately, I always lacked the courage to ctb

 

[Satori Komeiji]

I'm only 20 and I feel like I feel like I've lived long enough honestly. I'm also worried about the future. My friend calls me a "doomer" but it's not like the world is giving me much to work with in terms of feeling hopeful. It seems like things are only going to get worse from here on out and I don't really want to be alive to see it.

 

[SomedayorNexttime]

Ha ha- I like your summary of life/ the future... Lots of bad shit with maybe one cool video game. Seems kind of likely.

Reminds me of that scene in 'Austin Powers' when he's trying to convince his girlfriend to travel into the future and miss a few decades:



I'm 45. I got through it because I felt obliged to mainly. I've had ideation since I was 10 but I always wanted to wait for my Dad to go first.

I suppose I was sort of 'lucky' in that best part of my life, I was focussed on getting and maintaining a creative job. That has taken up a lot of time. Most of life has just been about working to ensure things get no worse really.

I feel ready to go though. I don't want to watch AI descimate everything. After my Dad, it will only really be fear holding me back.

I am happy you liked my take on the future, I spent lots of time thinking on what it could be. Every answer leads to it being a hard "hell no." They can keep their hyperrealistic VR AI slop games and clean water shortages or whatever they'll have. Idk what the 80's or 90's were like but I guess maybe the anti-climatic nature of innovation will continue: just the most pathetic outcome of whatever we are imagining at the time.

Imagine explaining to someone 50 years ago that the best that we could do in 2025 was give every home appliance a touchscreen (a 70 year old lady said somewhere online that people were actually expecting space travel by 2025 ).

And speaking of AI, I can't even describe how it feels watching the AI bloodbath as a person who has never had a full time job. And I wanted to be in business. I'm beyond cooked. Everything reads that I'll probably have no job in five years with debt I can't pay back, and I can't switch my major, and I have no way how to explain to my family what my plans are. If nothing else will render me dead, the financial problems certainly will. And everyone is just acting like it's fine. I literally don't know what to do. I should've just picked healthcare and now I'm probably never going to make money. They aren't even hiring people at McDonald's anymore for some reason, I've applied to part time jobs, even custodian jobs, and nothing comes my way. Like, I just want to buy something small on Amazon at least if I can't make good money. If I can't see anything worthwhile in my life, let me at least buy one of those labubus that everyone is crazy about 🫩

But thanks for your response and I hope you are happy with whatever path you choose.

I'm only 20 and I feel like I feel like I've lived long enough honestly. I'm also worried about the future. My friend calls me a "doomer" but it's not like the world is giving me much to work with in terms of feeling hopeful. It seems like things are only going to get worse from here on out and I don't really want to be alive to see it.

I'm also 20 and I feel like I've done everything. I haven't done everything I wanted to do but I've done enough to not care if I didn't wake up tomorrow. I swear everything is going to go into the shitter from now on and I don't want to stay on the ride. I just need to know how to bail.

 

[patheticparasite]

TLDR: Distraction is what keeps me alive.

40-year-old here, so right in the middle. I've always distracted myself with technology. Everything revolves around my computer, the central element of my "life". Most of my time I spend lurking in forums/social media, sometimes I even post stupid shit. I think I do that to feel some kind of connection to society, even though I almost always ignore anyone who interacts with me directly.

Other things that keep me distracted are tv series, movies, music and video games; sadly all of which increasingly feel like a chore the older I become.

Every five to ten years I get into a phase where I try to do better by exposing myself to the mental health care system and trying to find a steady job. This is happening right now and maybe this time I won't bail out (spoiler: I will).

A small part of me is hoping for far right fascists to euthanize me for being a burden on society. A bigger part is terrified of this prospect that seems more likely to happen these days.

 

[Satori Komeiji]

TLDR: Distraction is what keeps me alive.

40-year-old here, so right in the middle. I've always distracted myself with technology. Everything revolves around my computer, the central element of my "life". Most of my time I spend lurking in forums/social media, sometimes I even post stupid shit. I think I do that to feel some kind of connection to society, even though I almost always ignore anyone who interacts with me directly.

Other things that keep me distracted are tv series, movies, music and video games; sadly all of which increasingly feel like a chore the older I become.

This pretty accurately describes my life as well :( I don't speak with many people even online but I wish that would change. I spend most days on my laptop, watching Youtube, playing games, listening to music, reading. It's all in an effort to keep myself distracted and indeed it is the primary motivator for staying alive for me on top of constantly avoiding the real world. I have interests that could make me some money like sysadmin work and programming but I rarely have the motivation to pursue them for very long. I'm very stuck in my ways now. It wasn't this bad about a year ago.

 

[failedmind]

I'm 24 and I feel like I've lived so much longer with all the trauma and shit I've been through. I'm tired. There's no way I can do this for 50 more years. The thought of that makes me panic. Just need the courage to ctb now

 

[TBONTB]

A part of me, a very tiny one, wants to make it to at least 50 before I take myself out of the game. Why? I want to know what the future is like. It won't be anything impressive except maybe some moderately cool technology, but I still wonder what it would be like. I want to laugh with other people about future jokes and see what big events come to pass.

But I'd have to do this shit for 30 more years.

I don't know how people do this for that long. Nothing happens most of the time and if you have no life then it's torture. If I stayed for another 30 then I would have to be poor and alone up until a decade before retirement, which I don't think I'll ever retire anyway. I'd have to do this all alone for three more decades straight just to see what? I don't even know what'll happen other than maybe economic collapse and worldwide ruin and a cool video game. I don't even care to see 30
at this point. I'm tired and I know my life will suck. 2055 will just be me rotting with a slightly better computer and a worse home with no family.

I am going to ask any person here above, let's say, the age of 30. How did you do it? And if you're 50, HOW? What helped you pass all that m

You just look ahead a little bit. The next weekend, the next vacation, the next year of school, the next job. There were some good times and some bad times. I took a bad wrong turn, and now I'm ready to check out. but I haven't felt that way the whole time.

 

[kopebaldy]

Same

I'm 30 and already exhausted every second, seriously where do they find the energy?

 

[Wolf Girl]

Hope. Once that dies all is lost.

This 100%.

I passed the time by becoming a peer counselor and helping troubled kids for years. After that ended due to my autism, the hope went with it. I *need* to be helping to be okay, but I'm just not up to it. Feel so worthless.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Time goes really fast, before you know it another year, another decade is gone. And in my 40s now, I think the downward slope of the rainbow, once we reached the top, accelerates time. Not necessarily at a specific age, but at our own time of realisation that there is not much time left, or whatever is happening is too much to deal with and it becomes surreal. I get annoyed at the speed of time, with every year passed I feel like it's not supposed to be done yet, that I have nothing to show for it. And since late 30s, around December I usually get depressed not wanting another year like the last one.

I think a lot of the years I was on autopilot (I also had some alcohol in my blood pretty much most days since the age of 13 up to end of 2023 when my liver nearly died). But, up until last year, I managed to do many things as opposed to being stuck in one job. I've lived in four different countries and worked on ships. Was never really happy until late 40s when I met the one person for me. Ended up here when things went wrong. But if I hadn't stuck around, I would never have experienced this kind of love. Now, I have a few months in which to decide whether I will allow myself to keep on believing on a hope for the 50s.

 

[Unicron]

I'm 44 and have only made it this far because I don't want to hurt my parents. Life is hell though and I dearly wish I'd died long ago, or even better, to never have even been born at all.

 

[gottacheckout]

My siblings all ctb from alcohol and dig abuse. That left me to take care of my parents, there was no way that I could put them through that pain again. I also needed to make sure that their passing was as pleasant as possible. My dad did the death with dignity and my mom chose to pass naturally. I was with both of them at the end, holding them in my arms. If I had to do it again I absolutely would not change a thing. I can now go with a clean conscience when the time comes.

Oh, and I'm 62 so I passed the 50 year goal.

 

[SomedayorNexttime]

My siblings all ctb from alcohol and dig abuse. That left me to take care of my parents, there was no way that I could put them through that pain again. I also needed to make sure that their passing was as pleasant as possible. My dad did the death with dignity and my mom chose to pass naturally. I was with both of them at the end, holding them in my arms. If I had to do it again I absolutely would not change a thing. I can now go with a clean conscience when the time comes.

Oh, and I'm 62 so I passed the 50 year goal.

62 is nuts. You made it to nearly retirement?

And your care for your family is admirable.

Tell me, how did you weather everything for 40 years?

I also want to say that I'm so envious of your age. I wish I could be old already and have enough experience to say that my life wasn't worth it.

 

[gottacheckout]

I'm still going, not sure if I'll make retirement. Hell, the way that that target keeps being moved I'm not sure there will be retirement.

I actually weathered everything for 52 years, I was 10 when my suicidal ideations started. There were enough good times to keep me going.

My childhood was really tough but by the time I was in my 30's I decided that I could either continue to live in the past and let it eat me up or I could forgive my family and look for the positive. My dad did something for each of my siblings every year. They always wanted him to build a fence or a shop or things like that. I can do all that myself so instead of doing things for me I wanted to take a motorcycle trip with him every summer. By the time my siblings died not one of them had what he did but I have a lot of great memories. A trip to Alaska, that was the last state that my dad had not visited. It was my 49th. Several years later my dad and my in-laws paid for my wife and myself to go to Hawaii, that was my 50th. Looking back on it the best thing I did was letting go of all that anger.

If you asked me my best decade was my 40's followed by my 50's and then 30's.

 

[prototypian]

For me it's only gotten worse. It's not money or success; those actually do come with just dealing with shit long enough.

It's the problems that never stop. When you're 50 Something you'll realize just o
How much of your life has been simply solving bureaucratic, justification based problems.

That's all that will continue. It will go and go and there will be more and more. The farther you go and longer you live the more and more of these things will exist. And it doesn't change with more money or success. You'll have less time and more of the justification to do. It just won't stop. Your life will be entirely focused on delivering bad news, fighting for things legally, justifying decisions or convincing people to do things for you through negotiation. And every success will require major broadcasting and every failure will require justification and minimization. Always and forever. Your self preservation mechanism will be on alert at all times.